Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

What’s a Voyeur, Sir?

A teacher’s perverse contravention/ Secured him a 3-year detention/ His slyly-filmed vids/ Of 100s of kids/ Attracting the old bill’s attention./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-34063185 A teacher's perverse contravention Secured him a 3-year detention His slyly-filmed vids Of 100s of kids Attracting the old bill's attention. — … Continue reading

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Dumb Bell

The rate at which Big Ben goes bong/ Was found to be 6 seconds wrong/ Erroneous timing/ Was making its chiming/ In technical terms, all Pete Tong./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34048852?ns_mchannel=social&ns_campaign=bbc_radio_4&ns_source=twitter&ns_linkname=radio_and_music The rate for Big Ben to go bong Was found to be 6 … Continue reading

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Fair Weather Friends

The Met and the Beeb were together/ United whatever the weather/ Till Beeb said “We’re thru,/ I found someone new./ No forecast is ever forever”./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34031785 The Met and the Beeb were together United whatever the weather Till Beeb said "We're thru, I … Continue reading

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Waiting for Chilcot

Lord Chilcot was asked to inquire/ How Britain got into the mire/ Of war in Iraq/ But won’t report back/ Without a response from each liar./// http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/aug/21/david-cameron-pushes-chilcot-iraq-report-we-want-this-inquiry-finished Lord Chilcot was asked to inquire How Britain got into the mire Of war in … Continue reading

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Rashly Madison

A website for linking up pairs/ Desiring illicit affairs/ Was fatally hacked./ Some caught in the act/ May shortly be sleeping downstairs./// http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/aug/19/ashley-madisons-hacked-customer-files-posted-online-as-threatened-say-reports A website for linking up pairs Desiring illicit affairs Was fatally hacked. Some caught in the act May shortly be sleeping … Continue reading

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DWP, IDS – WTF?

The UK department for pensions/ Belatedly, grudgingly mentions/ That overjoyed claimants/ Who love losing payments/ Are utterly bogus inventions./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/dwp-admits-making-up-quotes-by-benefit-claimants-saying-sanctions-helped-them-10460351.html The UK department for pensions Belatedly, grudgingly mentions That overjoyed claimants Who love losing payments Are utterly bogus inventions — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) August … Continue reading

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Ahead by a Whisker

There was an old man with a beard/ Who said it is just as I feared/ Because I’m a red/ And pulling ahead/ Another grandee’s interfered./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/david-miliband-intervenes-in-labour-leadership-with-warning-of-toryonly-rule-while-ed-miliband-remains-silent-10459147.html There was an old man with a beard Who said it is just as … Continue reading

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Serb Smells Herb

There once was a champion Serb/ Whom stoners began to disturb./ The Number One seed/ Said “I can smell weed -/ Is somebody smoking the herb?”/// http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/aug/16/novak-djokovic-cannabis-smell-jeremy-chardy There once was a champion Serb Whom stoners began to disturb. The Number One seed Said … Continue reading

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DJ Boobs

A BBC DJ from Hants/ Aired weird anti-breastfeeding rants/ This angered the Beeb/ And led to the dweeb/ Receiving a kick in the pants./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33904758 A BBC DJ from Hants Aired weird anti-breastfeeding rants This angered the Beeb And led to the dweeb Receiving … Continue reading

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Bic Gets Stick

The pen manufacturer Bic/ Knows just how to talk to a chick/ For feminine pens/ Are different from men’s/ As long as you think like a dick./// http://af.reuters.com/article/topNews/idAFKCN0QH0WY20150812

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