Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Checking the Pigeonholes

In China, a land in the East,/ Some 10,000 doves were policed./ Security checked ‘em,/ Inspecting each rectum,/ Before they were safely released./// http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/reports-of-beijings-cavity-search-of-10000-doves-ruffle-feathers-in-china/article20873756/ https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/517331518025261056

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Nursing a Grievance

The BBC Trust has censured Horrible Histories for this sketch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBF3X2vkK7w on the relationship between Florence Nightingale and Mary Seacole. So here’s my limerick on the subject from There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar. There once was a nurse … Continue reading

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Dishonourable Members

The members for Braintree & Strood/ Have left Tory conference screwed/The latter defecting/The former electing/To post selfie pix in the nude.

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Cheddar Gorger

There is a dictator named Kim/ Who isn’t what you might call slim/ Addiction to cheese/ A lifestyle disease/ That makes him feel terribly grim./// http://www.itv.com/news/2014-09-27/kim-jong-uns-discomfort-down-to-cheese-addiction/ There is a dictator named Kim Who isn't what you might call slim Addiction to cheese A … Continue reading

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Donkey Bonky

Two donkeys who shagged in a zoo/ Were parted, to spare kids the view/ They’re highly delighted/ To be re-united/ And doing what animals do./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/sep/25/donkey-couple-sex-napoleon-antosia-poland Two donkeys who shagged in a zoo Were parted, to spare kids the view They're highly … Continue reading

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Three Times a Lady?

A Florida woman professed/ To have a third boob on her chest/ But is the said mammary/ Merely flim-flammery?/ Time that she made a clean breast./// http://www.tampabay.com/news/bizarre/tampa-woman-says-she-has-three-breasts-despite-evidence-to-the-contrary/2199074 A Florida woman professed To have a third boob on her chest But is the … Continue reading

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Feline Contented

The PM has been overheard/ Recounting how when he gave word/ That Scotland would stay/ Within the UK/ Her majesty quietly purred./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-29335028 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/514501268682051585

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TV Dinners

The government health watchdog NICE/ Dispenses important advice:/ To get a flat belly/ Don’t watch so much telly/ Two hours a day should suffice./// http://www.bbc.com/news/health-29311464 The government health watchdog NICE Dispenses important advice: To get a flat belly Don't watch so much telly Two … Continue reading

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Mantel Piece

A popular author named Hilary/ Was put in a media pillory/ For saying of Thatcher/ She itched to dispatch ‘er/ But lacked the required artillery./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/hilary-mantel-should-be-investigated-by-police-over-margaret-thatcher-assassination-story-says-lord-bell-9746747.html A popular author named Hilary Was put in a media pillory For saying of Thatcher She itched … Continue reading

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The Great Vow Shift

Prime Minister Cameron’s vow/ Is causing a bit of a row/ The sweet words he said/ To get Scots in bed/ Are not what he’s offering now./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/sep/20/ed-miliband-referendum-conference-david-cameron Prime Minister Cameron's vow Is causing a bit of a row The sweet words … Continue reading

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