Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Not Fare

A hedgie commuting by rail/ Whose fare-dodging went off the scale/ Has had to repay/ Some 43K/ But being so rich, avoids jail. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27011497 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/455667680830562304  

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Fine Young Criminal

A 9-month old boy from Lahore/ Is not on a rap any more./ Attempting to murder -/ Could this be absurder?/ At least they can wait till he’s 4! ///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/ninemonthold-baby-attempted-murder-charges-thrown-out-by-pakistan-court-9256077.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/454936582836211712

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Sue Farewell…

Sue Townsend is gone, rest her soul/ Who gave us all Adrian Mole./ He wrote the odd poem/ (You probably know ‘em)/ On Thatcher & love & the dole. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-26982680 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/454654433964875776  

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Sexual Politics

Oh pity the weary MP/ Relaxed by the odd G&T/ Attempting to nurture/ The Commons researcher/ By placing a hand on a knee. ///http://www.channel4.com/news/sexual-harassment-culture-in-parliament-exposed-westminster-commons

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Myner Storm

A fellow named Myners, a Lord,/ Has quit the Co-operative board./ He kicked up a storm/ With plans for reform/ That most Co-op members deplored. ///http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/apr/09/lord-myners-quits-co-op-group https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/454249673671585792

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A Problem Called Maria

A minister known as Maria/ Resigned, saying ‘It is now clear/ I’m just a distraction’/ Though this drastic action/ Was not, I suspect, her idea. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-26951464 ///https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/453799830696251392

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Terror Error

A bomber got rather a shock,/ His bomb going off at half-cock./ The master of terror/ Made one basic error:/ He didn’t put forward his clock.///  http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/republic-of-ireland/dublin-bomber-may-have-blown-himself-up-because-he-forgot-about-clocks-changing-30150589.html A bomber got rather a shock, His bomb going off at half-cock. The … Continue reading

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Suffocation Desert Storm

A wind from a far distant land/ Has blanketed England in sand/ For people with asthma/ This grainy miasma/ Is more than our poor lungs can stand. ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/10739019/Sahara-dust-storm-prompts-serious-health-warning-for-asthmatics.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/451283716623835136

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Mail Sale Fail

The NAO reckons the sale/ Of shares in the old Royal Mail/ Was done at a price/ In spite of advice/ That short-changed the state – epic fail! ///http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/apr/01/royal-mail-undervaluing-taxpayer-cable https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/450992456667254784  

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The Law is a Ass

The nomenclature of an ass/ Got one chap in trouble, alas/ To name a beast Sisi/ In Egypt’s not PC/ And gets you imprisoned for sass./// http://www.albawaba.com/editorchoice/donkey-sisi-565700 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/450915381851721728  

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