Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Plantagenet Planted Again

The body of Richard III/ Has finally been reinterred/ With honours in Leicester/ No longer to fester/ Neath cars, as for years had occurred./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-32052800 The body of Richard III Has finally been reinterred With honours in Leicester No longer to fester Neath cars, … Continue reading

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Strop Gear

The TV star Jeremy Clarkson/ Whatever new show he embarks on/ Will prosper, I bet/ So let’s not forget/ The fellow whose face he left marks on./// http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/mar/25/jeremy-clarkson-police-investigation-bbc-report-top-gear The TV star @JeremyClarkson Whatever new show he embarks on Will prosper, I … Continue reading

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A New Direction

Zayn Malik has quit One Direction/ Engendering teenage dejection/ He’s leaving the stage/ So hold the front page/ And bugger the general election./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/32057401 Zayn Malik has quit One Direction Engendering teenage dejection He's leaving the stage So hold the front page & bugger … Continue reading

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Candid Cameron?

If Cameron wins, the PM/ Declares he will do it pro tem;/ When he’s had his day,/ George, Boris or May -/ He’ll pass on the baton to them./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-32037196 If Cameron wins, the PM Declares he will do it pro … Continue reading

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Know What Amin?

A Tory chap standing in Dudley/ Was caught getting rather too cuddly/ With EDL leaders/ And frankly, dear readers/ His justification is muddly./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32011321 A Tory chap standing in Dudley Was caught getting rather too cuddly With EDL leaders And frankly, dear readers His … Continue reading

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Sexed-up Exes

A top UKIP hopeful in Kent/ Appears to have done something bent/ By eating her fill/ Then getting a bill/ For more than she actually spent./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-31982168 A top UKIP hopeful in Kent Appears to have done something bent By eating her … Continue reading

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Eclipse Eclipsed

Here is the safest of tips/ On how to survive an eclipse/ Establish your base/ In some cloudy place/ The solar phenomenon skips./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/uk-weather-solar-eclipse-could-be-blocked-out-by-cold-front-over-the-country-10117383.html Here is the safest of tips On how to survive an eclipse Establish your base In some cloudy place The … Continue reading

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All Rise!

Three prominent judges were sacked/ Because when their browsing was tracked/ The images seen/ Revealed they had been/ Accessories after The Act./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/three-judges-sacked-for-allegedly-viewing-porn-on-official-judiciary-computers-10113032.html Three prominent judges were sacked Because when their browsing was tracked The images seen Revealed they had been Accessories after The … Continue reading

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Shapps’s Lapse

Conservative chairman Grant Shapps/ Has had to admit that perhaps/ Although he denied/ His job on the side/ He’d suffered a memory lapse./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/mar/16/grant-shapps-urged-to-quit-over-second-job-under-michael-green-pseudonym Conservative chairman Grant Shapps Has had to admit that perhaps Although he denied His job on the side He'd suffered … Continue reading

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Organ Transplant

A man with no penis who chose A transplant to get a new hose, When asked to assess The organ’s success Replied: “Well it comes and it goes”. A man with no penis who chose A transplant to get a new … Continue reading

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