Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Titter Ye Not

A high-up political Turk/ Was widely condemned as a jerk./ The feminine half,/ He said, mustn’t laugh/ But may be permitted a smirk./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-28548179 A high-up political Turk Was widely condemned as a jerk. The feminine half, He said, mustn't … Continue reading

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It Really Shouldn’t Happen to a Vet

A vet who had sex with a horse/ Displayed very little remorse/ He said ‘It’s not fair -/ I’m having a mare!’/ For which he was struck off, of course./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-28524348 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/494147194854076416

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Fees Lloyds Avoids

One of our bailed-out banks/ Was fined by the Brits & the Yanks/ For rigging its rate/ On debts to the state/ A rather odd way to say thanks. ///http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/jul/28/lloyds-suspends-seven-people-rigging-rates-libor https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/494065672000143361

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What the Frack

The government’s given its backing/ To shale gas extraction by fracking/ Across the UK/ The companies say/ They just cannot wait to get cracking./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-28513036 The government's given its backing To shale gas extraction by fracking Across the UK The … Continue reading

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Wind Across the Channel

A plumber behind the erection/ Of buttocks with turbo-injection/ Said this is my chance/ To say to la France/ I fart in your general direction./// http://www.dover-express.co.uk/French-hear-giant-fart-fired-Channel/story-21937991-detail/story.html A plumber behind the erection Of buttocks with turbo-injection Said this is my chance … Continue reading

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Wrong Trousers, Right Policies?

There once was a leader named Ed/ Who launched an offensive and said:/ I just do policy./ If that’s too Wallace-y/ Vote for the Tories instead./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-28459474 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/492721172107509760

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Satellite of Love

The Russians have lost any trace/ Of lizards canoodling in space/ They listen for echos/ Of cosmonaut geckos/ At work reproducing their race./// (Tweeted Friday, just catching up after being away from base) http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-28490744

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Force de Crap

The Met went to terrible pains/ To infiltrate justice campaigns/ But might police time/ Spent tackling crime/ Result in more tangible gains?/// http://blogs.channel4.com/simon-israel-home-affairs/metropolitan-police-spied-families-campaigning/742 The Met went to terrible pains To infiltrate justice campaigns But might police time Spent tackling crime … Continue reading

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Bishop’s Move

The church that they call #CofE/ Has voted at last to agree/ Episcopal folks/ Don’t have to be blokes/ You can have a she in a see./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28300618 The church that they call #CofE Has voted at last to agree … Continue reading

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At A Sloss

A Baroness named Butler-Sloss/ Resigned as inquiry boss/ Announcing “So long,/ I’ve done nothing wrong,/ It’s just the way things came across”./// http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jul/14/lady-butler-sloss-stands-down-child-abuse-inquiry A Baroness named Butler-Sloss Resigned as inquiry boss Announcing "So long, I've done nothing wrong, It's just … Continue reading

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