Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

The Peter File

A diplomat getting his kicks/ From looking at paedophile pix/ May suffer disgrace/ But not in the case/ Of agents who serve MI6./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-31062904 A diplomat getting his kicks From looking at paedophile pix May suffer disgrace But not in the case Of agents … Continue reading

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Contempt of Court

A Murray supporter named Kim/ Who backed him with vigour & vim/ Called Berdych ‘flash fuck’/ And gave her man luck -/ The victory going to him./// http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/jan/29/andy-murray-kim-sears-swearing-australian-open A Murray supporter named Kim Who backed him with vigour & vim Called Berdych … Continue reading

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Bones of Contention

The fate of an old diplodocus/ Has prompted the UK to focus/ Less on its curation/ Than pro-nunciation/ We must all be clean off our rocus!/// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-31040334 The fate of an old diplodocus Has prompted the UK to focus Less on its … Continue reading

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Crepe Name

French law says a woman & fella/ Cannot call their daughter Nutella/ So why not instead/ Of hazelnut spread/ Pick lager, & call the girl Stella?/// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30993608 French law says a woman & fella Cannot call their daughter Nutella So why not … Continue reading

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Master Bates

A singer named Brown who’s a Manc/ Says sex education was frank/ The teacher would pass/ The boys in his class/ Instructions on just how to wank./// http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jan/27/fred-talbot-boys-masturbate-ian-brown-court A singer named Brown who's a Manc Says sex education was frank The teacher … Continue reading

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Greek Creek

There was a young radical Greek/ Who made all the Eurocrats freak/ He won the most votes/ By arguing boats/ Need paddles to exit Shit Creek./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30982932 There was a young radical Greek Who made all the Eurocrats freak He won the … Continue reading

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Vanity Project

An MEP says he defected/ (Though UKIP declared him ejected)/ As Farage’s vanity/ And members’ insanity/ Somehow weren’t what he expected./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-30967633 An MEP says he defected (Though #UKIP declared him ejected) As Farage's vanity And members' insanity Somehow weren't what he expected. … Continue reading

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Nothing Succeeds Like Succession

With royal respect in full swing/ To carp at it isn’t the thing/ Salute the succession/ Ignore the repression/ The king is dead – long live the king./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-30962740 With royal respect in full swing To carp at it isn't the … Continue reading

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The Unbearable Uprightness of Peeing

A German court moved to dismiss/ Restrictions on how fellows piss/ We needn’t sitzpinkle/ But may stand and sprinkle/ Although it’s a bit hit or miss./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30937492 A German court moved to dismiss Restrictions on how fellows piss We needn't sitzpinkle But may … Continue reading

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Heil and Farewell

Herr Bachmann has quit as the leader/ Of xenophobe movement Pegida/ For silly old Lutz/ Dressed up, like a klutz,/ As Hitler, his Nazi preceder./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/pegida-leader-lutz-bachmann-steps-down-over-hitler-photograph-9993425.html Herr Bachmann has quit as the leader Of xenophobe movement Pegida For silly old Lutz Dressed up, … Continue reading

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