Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

I AM A WEAKISH SPELLER

To mark Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, here is the author’s cut (i.e. longer) of my chapter on him in There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar. There was an old fellow named Will Who wrote with rare humour and skill. In … Continue reading

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Not EU, Darling

A UKIP campaign causing strife/ Says EU migration is rife/ And jobs meant for Brits/ Are taken by Fritz/ (Not least Nigel Farage’s wife). ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27115043 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/458894946112909312

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Back, Sack and Crack

  This one was inspired by today’s front page of the Sun:  Well. it was virtually a limerick already, just needed a few tweaks, so I had a go: Old Moyesy was stabbed in the back/ He said as they … Continue reading

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The Frozen One

There was an old fellow named Moyes/ Who took over Ferguson’s boys/ Before very long/ It all went Pete Tong./ What football creates it destroys. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27107795 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/458521008635658241

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Do You Know the Way from San Jose?

A teenager left San Jose/ By secretly stowing away/ And managed to fly/ From there to Hawaii/ To airline officials’ dismay. ///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/21/teenage-stowaway-survives-flight-pacific-california-hawaii https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/458267656823783424

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Silvio Foxed

A former top leader in Rome/ Of heavily transplanted dome/ Who liked bunga-bunga/ With women much younger/ Now works in an old people’s home. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27033315 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/457833133006942208

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Booty-flicker Back

There is an old man in Algiers/ Who’s in for another 5 years/ Although Bouteflika/ Gets weaker & weaker/ His hold on the state perseveres. ///http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/04/18/uk-algeria-election-results-idUKBREA3H0IN20140418 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/457261869586477056

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Chronicle of A Death

There was an old man, Gabriel/  To whom we must now say farewell/ His novels live on/ But Marquez is gone/ A death we could sadly foretell. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-27073911 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/456944489891102720

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Taking the Piss

A reservoir had to be drained/So Portland officials explained/When someone passed water/Where nobody oughta/(Let’s hope all the fishes refrained). ///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/17/portland-flush-38m-gallons-water-man-urinates-reservoir?commentpage=2https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/456848916638867457    

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News of The Screws

The ex-tabloid editor Andy/ Admitted that when he got randy/ He romped in the sack/ With fellow Screws hack/ Rebekah (his boss, which was handy) ///http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/apr/14/andy-coulson-affair-rebekah-brooks-was-wrong https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/456355765960204288

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