Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Breast Stroke

Hongkongers wore bras to protest/ At Lai-ying’s unlikely arrest/ She’s now doing time/ In jail for the crime/ Of hitting a cop with her breast./// http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/08/hong-kong-breast-walk-protest-court-ruling-150802110617144.html Hongkongers wore bras to protest At Lai-ying's unlikely arrest She's now doing time In jail for the … Continue reading

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Minnesota Nasty

A dentist who hunted big game/ Sought trophies to garner him fame/ But public distress’ll/ Ensure killing Cecil/ Brings Walter unlimited shame./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jul/29/cecil-the-lion-calls-for-prosecution-us-dentist-walter-palmer A dentist who hunted big game Sought trophies to garner him fame But public distress'll Ensure killing Cecil Brings Walter unlimited … Continue reading

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Lord of Misrule

An old orange bra-wearing Lord/ Had fun as he snorted and whored/ But public life’s cruel/ And so Baron Sewel/ Must publicly fall on his sword./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33685519 An old orange bra-wearing Lord Had fun as he snorted and whored But public life's … Continue reading

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Lord Sewel Follows Party Line

A peer judging conduct has quit,/ Apparently no longer fit,/ As tabloid reports/ Showed film where he snorts/ Some coke off a prostitute’s tit./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33667676 A peer judging conduct has quit, Apparently no longer fit, As tabloid reports Showed film where he snorts Some … Continue reading

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Another Planet

A planet that NASA can see/ That’s called Kepler 452b/ Is quite like the Earth/ Though larger in girth/ And may be the home of ET./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-33641648 A planet that NASA can see That's called Kepler 452b Is quite like the Earth Though … Continue reading

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Our Man in Havana

Today, after decades, two nations/ Restored diplomatic relations/ So as of mañana/ DC and Havana/ Can rebuild intelligence stations./// http://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/19/politics/cuba-u-s-embassies-opening/ Today, after decades, two nations Restored diplomatic relations So as of mañana DC and Havana Can rebuild intelligence stations. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) July … Continue reading

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Her Royal Heilness

There once was a princess so cute,/ Well-mannered, of spotless repute./ But now we see pix/ Of Lizzie aged six,/ Performing a Nazi salute./// http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/royals/6548665/Their-Royal-Heilnesses.html There once was a princess so cute, Well-mannered, of spotless repute. But now we see pix Of Lizzie … Continue reading

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Squiffy Squirrel

A squirrel got utterly smashed/ On ale from a boozer it crashed/ The rat-arsed intruder/ Got steadily ruder/ And left the establishment trashed./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/drunk-squirrel-causes-hundreds-of-pounds-worth-of-damage-at-private-members-club-10394099.html A squirrel got utterly smashed On ale from a boozer it crashed The rat-arsed intruder Got steadily ruder And left … Continue reading

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Rabbit Habit

A motorist lost concentration/ And crashed due to preoccupation/ While using a toy/ She liked to employ/ For sexual gratification./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/sex-drive-female-motorist-ploughs-6056180 A motorist lost concentration And crashed due to preoccupation While using a toy She liked to employ For sexual gratification. — Mick Twister … Continue reading

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Nuclear Reaction

The P5+1 and Iran/ Came up with a brilliant plan:/ Enrichment is stopped/ And sanctions get dropped/ (Though Bibi is not a big fan)./// The P5+1 and Iran Came up with a brilliant plan: Enrichment is stopped And sanctions get dropped (Though Bibi is … Continue reading

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