Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

In a Different League

The LMA said of Mackay/ Our Malky’s a regular guy/ Who banters with blokes/ And tells racist jokes/ So why all the big hue and cry?/// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/aug/21/malky-mackay-texts-iain-moody-friendly-banter-league-managers-association The LMA said of Mackay Our Malky's a regular guy Who banters with … Continue reading

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Sex, Lies and Undercover Lovers

The CPS says it is proper/ For someone who serves as a copper/ To take on a lover/ While deep undercover/ And base their affair on a whopper./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28877001 The CPS says it is proper For someone who serves as … Continue reading

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Fine Upstanding Member

Lord Rennard’s unwanted attention/ Became a big bone of contention/ But Nicholas Clegg/ Said he’s a good egg/ And lifted his party suspension./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-28862823 Lord Rennard's unwanted attention Became a big bone of contention But Nicholas Clegg Said he's a … Continue reading

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Cliff Tiff

The Beeb and the cops had a tiff/ Regarding a raid on Sir Cliff/ We find, said the coppers,/ Deployment of choppers/ By BBC folks a bit stiff./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28823699 The Beeb and the cops had a tiff Regarding a raid … Continue reading

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Holy Man Barred

The planet’s most highly-pierced guy / Was not allowed into Dubai/ He said “This is shit/ My face doesn’t fit -/ I’m trying to figure out why!”/// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/17/dubai-officials-deny-entry-most-pierced-man The planet's most highly-pierced guy Was not allowed into Dubai He said … Continue reading

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Missouri Breaks

The death of a man in Missouri/Has led to community fury/Perhaps it will stop/If folks see the cop/Who shot him in front of a jury./// http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/08/16/uk-usa-missouri-shooting-idUKKBN0GE07C20140816 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/501000841416171520

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Abbadi vs A Baddie

Iraq’s new PM Al-Abbadi/ Will have to take on al-Baghdadi,/ A ruthless sectarian/ Strict doctrinarian/ Caliphate-building jihadi. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-28748366 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/500294535533305856  

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Look No Hands!

A pilot while trying to land/ Said: “This isn’t going as planned./ No cause for alarm,/ I just lost my arm -/ Can somebody lend me a hand?”/// http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/flybe-pilots-false-arm-fell-off-on-landing-at-belfast-city-airport-30507774.html

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Poverty Crap

A Tory who gave up his seat/ Had problems in making ends meet -/ He can’t buy his spouse/ A nice London house/ And sizeable country retreat./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/aug/11/tory-foreign-office-minister-quits-intolerable-expenses-rules A Tory who gave up his seat Had problems in making ends … Continue reading

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Between Iraq and a Hard Plaice

The PM has acted to squish/ Some parliamentarians’ wish/ For him to come back/ And deal with Iraq/ Instead of just looking at fish./// http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/david-cameron-urged-to-stop-pointing-at-fish-and-recall-parliament–x1DKYj8TMe https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/498891182299414529  

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