Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Cameron Lets Side Down

The PM’s a lover of sport/ Or so his PR folks report/ But put on the spot/ He went and forgot/ Which team he’s supposed to support./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2015-32463038 The PM's a lover of sport Or so his PR folks report But put … Continue reading

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Thongs of Mourning

The government of the Chinese/ Prohibited mourning striptease./ No man should be stiff/ At funerals if/ He’s not the deceased person, please./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-32448416 The government of the Chinese Prohibited mourning striptease. No man should be stiff At funerals if He's not the deceased person, … Continue reading

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Mayor’s ‘mare

A prominent fellow named Lutfur/ Declared I’d have got away but for/ Those meddling kids/ Exposing my bids/ To govern whom crosses were put for./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/23/tower-hamlets-mayor-lutfur-rahman-found-guilty-of-electoral A prominent fellow named Lutfur Declared I'd have got away but for Those meddling kids Exposing my … Continue reading

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Drover to Driver

Police find it tricky to deal/ With dogs who have taken the wheel./ A motorway Rover/ Is hard to pull over -/ You can’t call a tractor to heel./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-32411621 Police find it tricky to deal With dogs who have taken … Continue reading

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Execute Command

A chap was arrested for shooting/ A PC that wasn’t rebooting/ Though few go ballistic/ It’s characteristic/ Of how we all feel when computing./// http://gazette.com/man-kills-computer-in-colorado-springs-alley-gets-revenge-he-wanted-and-a-citation/article/1550042 A chap was arrested for shooting A PC that wasn't rebooting Though few go ballistic It's characteristic Of how … Continue reading

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Tugger Bugger

New Zealand Prime Minister Key/ Has heeded a waitress’s plea/ That ponytail-tugging/ Is terribly bugging/ And weird – something most of us see./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/apr/22/new-zealand-prime-minister-john-key-apologises-for-pulling-waitresss-hair New Zealand Prime Minister Key Has heeded a waitress's plea That ponytail-tugging Is terribly bugging And weird – something most … Continue reading

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Sturgeon Goes Fishing

There once was a fellow named Ed/ Who went on the telly and said/ In spite of the urgin’/ Of Nicola Sturgeon/ He’s not gonna jump into bed./// There once was a fellow named Ed Who went on the telly and … Continue reading

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Leicester Molester

An MP who served Leicester West/ Sought children, it’s said, to molest/ But due to dementia/ The former backbencher/ Can keep on avoiding arrest./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-32329924 An MP who served Leicester West Sought children, it's said, to molest But due to dementia The former … Continue reading

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R.I.P. Percy

There once was a soul man who shone/ So brightly but now he is gone/ Adieu Percy Sledge/ You absolute ledge/ When a Man Loves a Woman lives on./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32301435 There once was a soul man who shone So brightly but … Continue reading

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School of Hard Nox

A footballer known as Raheem,/ A star of the Liverpool team,/ Inhaled nitrous oxide;/ “This isn’t”, his doc sighed/ “A normal athletic regime”./// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/apr/13/raheem-sterling-liverpool-nitrous-oxide-video A footballer known as Raheem, A star of the Liverpool team, Inhaled nitrous oxide; "This isn't", his doc sighed "A … Continue reading

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