Here are the limericks from before the blog started:

• Happy 5th bday to @twitter/Where we tell news, make jokes, rant & witter/Activists tweet/Regimes taste defeat/& people share gossip & titter 13 minutes ago
• News International’s #Rebekah/Ended up as a newspaper wrecker/A media vandal/At fault in the scandal/But so were those failing to check ‘er an hour ago
• Former NOTW man Wallis/Who was lifted 2day by the polis/Also worked for the Met/So I’m willing to bet/Nicking Wallis won’t give polis solace 16 hours ago
• The Culture Etc Committee/Is starting to get a bit gritty/It’s now got its hooks/Into Rebekah Brooks/Tho not James & Roops, more’s the pity 21 hours ago
• Moodys, Fitch, Standard&Poors/Allot creditworthiness scores/As all missed the crisis/I’d say their advice is/As useful as Harry next door’s. 1 day ago
• MP of all parties were urging/NewsCorp to forget about merging/And so Murdoch did/He withdrew the bid/And NC must be braced for some purging 1 day ago
• The #Newscorp and BSkyB deal/Is rapidly fading, I feel/With once pusillanimous/MPs now unanimous/Brand #Murdoch has lost its appeal. 2 days ago
• Met Police DAC Susan Akers/Is probing the Murdoch muckrakers/As Yates & co failed/It is time Akers nailed/All venal police kickback-takers 2 days ago
• To hack a kid’s medical file/Is generally thought of as vile/It’s alleged this was done/By the soaraway Sun/I await Rupert Murdoch’s denial 3 days ago
• Culture sec Jeremy Hunt/Reluctantly pushed to the front/Looked quite ill at ease/Being grilled by MPs/But at least noone called him a chump 3 days ago
• Celeb mum & dad Posh & Becks/Named one kid for where they had sex/Harper 7 they’ll lumber/With his old kit number/Celebrity names do perplex 3 days ago
• Assistant Commissioner Yates/Is rapidly losing his mates/He admits he was crap/But as he takes the rap/Let’s hope someone else investigates 4 days ago
• So farewell News of the Screws/Exposés, celebs, extreme views/Hacked down by its bosses/2 cut their own losses/(& Murdoch has plenty 2 lose) 5 days ago
• Who in the world would’ve guessed/Unholy News Corp was so blest/Our own C of E/Owns shares in page 3/Jesus saves, but the church doth invest 5 days ago
• A top UK cyclist named Bradley/Came out of the Tour de France badly/His collarbone’s bust/So poor Wiggy must/Watch the race on TV very sadly 5 days ago
• The world’s newest state, South Sudan/Has been founded, as per the plan/So since ’91/30 states have begun/(One in 6 of them ending in -stan) 6 days ago
• Challenger, Columbia & Endeavour/Are out of the picture forever/They’re in recovery/Along with Discovery/& Atlantis ain’t looking too clever 6 days ago
• Ex-editor Coulson’s arrest/Gives the PM a difficult test/In all this inquiring/Will Cameron’s hiring/Be examined along with the rest? #NOTW 7 days ago
• A cynical liar named James/Fires the poor suckers he blames/I hope all the hacks/Mr Murdoch now sacks/Blow the whistle & start naming names 7 days ago
• There is an old paper at Wapping/Whose ad revenue’s badly flopping/ Now if its readers/Abandon the bleeders/I predict major head-chopping 7 days ago
• UK police nicked a Basque man/Suspected of hatching a plan/His name is Eneko/Gogeaskoetxea Arronategui/Don’t ask me does that rhyme or scan 7 days ago
• There was an old man from Pekin/& perhaps there still is – Jiang Zemin/For tho it is said/The ex-president’s dead/The evidence is a bit thin 8 days ago
• Everyone says that the Met/Is the finest force money can get/Tho it’s seen as improper/For hack to pay copper/The story won’t end here I bet 8 days ago
• A wily coyote named Rupe/Adored a good newspaper scoop/As his precious red tops/Abused phones & paid cops/Could Murdoch be out of the loop? 9 days ago
• As #DSK hopes to escape/US charges of attempted rape/A French writer, Tristane/Says that Mr Strauss-Kahn/Set on her like an old rutting ape 9 days ago
• NoW ed Ms R Brooks/made a habit of taking on crooks/She may now bemoan/How they hacked Milly’s phone/But who was it wrote the chequebooks? 10 days ago
• Goodbye 98-year-old Otto/Archduke of the Habsburgs, whose motto/”Let others wage wars/We marry”, had flaws/But made em less apt 2 get shotto 10 days ago
• Fox News got itself Twitter-hacked/By reports of Obama attacked/But I kinda feel/It’s not so big a deal/Cos who’d mistake Fox News for fact? 10 days ago
• When Kate and Wills went 2 Quebec/On a big North American trek/The royal procession/Met demands 4 secession/Tho not 4 the right royal neck 11 days ago
• New No1 Novak Djokovic/Revealed what he had in his locker which/Nadal couldn’t curb/As the pacy young Serb/Ran madly as if on a soccer pitch 11 days ago
• The Gaza flotilla was caught/By the Greeks who confined it to port/It’s all a bit rum/& according to some/Impoverished Greece’s been bought 11 days ago
• In Wimbledon there was a bit of a/Surprise win for Ms Petra Kvitova/She launched her career/By taking Maria/Sharapova & making a tit of ‘er. 12 days ago
• Scots tennis hope Andy Murray/On a court in what used to be Surrey/Was beaten by Rafa;/Nadal, still the gaffer/Is not gonna lose in a hurry. 12 days ago
• The top supermodel Kate Moss/Got married in Southrop in Glos/Folks flocked in their frox/Thru ad hoc roadblox/Making villagers majorly cross 13 days ago
• Prince Albert’s fiancee Charlene/Is making a bit of a scene/Tiny Monaco’s Albert/Wants her as his gal but/The rumour is she’s not so keen. 13 days ago
• IDS says it gets on his tits/When companies don’t employ Brits/But migrants have skills/And lower wage bills/(Are all Tory ministers twits?) 14 days ago
• The US Defence Sec Bob Gates/Has been saying goodbye to his mates/Will Leon Panetta/Perform any better?/The wider world watches and waits. 14 days ago
• As ministers hasten to scold/The workers 4 being so bold/As to strike for their pensions/What nobody mentions/Is MPs’ own funds full of gold 15 days ago
• Roger Federer is in it no longer/He ran into somebody stronger/Against all the bets/Roger lost in 5 sets/To 12th-seeded Jo-Wilfried Tsonga 15 days ago
• New IMF leader Lagarde/Told Athens that times’ll be hard/For IMF lending/Means big cuts in spending/Which may leave the place badly scarred 16 days ago
• The International Criminal Court/Has issued a damning report/Indicting the Colonel/With crimes most infernal/Gaddafi, tho, isn’t yet caught 16 days ago
• A Wimbledon winner called Venus/Got taken, this year, to the cleaners/Beat by Pironkova/Her tournament’s over/And so is her sister Serena’s 16 days ago
• When a premier from China called #Wen/Visited Cameron at No 10/The gift of two pandas/And other backhanders/Sealed deals between the two men 17 days ago
• A prominent Tory named Mike/Says teachers are naughty to strike/An angry attack/& yet Gove, as a hack/Was a picket himself – what’s he like? 17 days ago
• American diva Beyonce/Playing Glasters, like former fiance/(Now hubby) Jay-Z/Opened up with Crazy/In love, as he watched – there’s piquancy 18 days ago
• Chinese premier Wen Jiabao/Whose boss is Gen Sec Hu Jintao/Is on tour at the mo/So what I want to know/Is why Hu sent Wen where, what & how? 18 days ago
• The conman ex-con Conrad Black/Has barely had time to unpack/The former Con peer/Has to do 1 more year/In the pen as the judge sent him back 19 days ago
• A Hollywood actor named Peter/As Columbo could not’ve bin neater/His aging tan mac/Stood out from the pack/I can’t see him in a windcheater 19 days ago
• A young politician named Ed/Sought control of the party he led/Under his new regime/A top shadow team/Won’t be voted, he’ll pick ’em instead 20 days ago
• JK (she is literally) Rowling/Has something that may be consoling/4 Fans of H Potter/Wee Harry has got a/New website (expect scary trolling) 21 days ago
• A Dutch politician, Geert #Wilders/Has policies roughly distilled as/Eradicate burkas/Cut immigrant workers/Drop Euros & go back to guilders 21 days ago
• Ryan Cleary, at 19 years old/Is a botnet creator, we’re told/The charge is attacking/State bodies by hacking/While online accomplices lol’d 21 days ago
• A fashion designer called John/Whose future career is now gone/Says that when paralytic/He gets anti-Semitic/Galliano, just what are you on? 22 days ago
• Porto’s Andre Villas-Boas/A man whom we shortly will know as/The trainer of Chelsea/Must win fast or else, he/Will go if no trophy 2 show us 23 days ago
• Said a Bacchian singer named Amy/My gigs are becoming too samey/I’ll get myself stocious/However atrocious/I am fans’ll still have to pay me 23 days ago
• President Bashar #Assad/Was given the job by his dad/In the gathering storm/He’s now promised reform/But will Syrians feel they’ve been had? 24 days ago
• He protested 10 yrs without cease/& resisted Westminster police/Brian Haw opposed war/But BH is no more/So it’s fitting to say rest in peace 25 days ago
• Mohammed the 6th of Morocco/Is changing things poco a poco/If his constitution/Can’t stop revolution/The king could be in for a shocko 27 days ago
• Villa boss Alex McLeish/Is hoping to find a new niche/The Blues fans’ll boo him/The club wants 2 sue him/McLeish’ll just go Hold yer Wheesht 27 days ago
• Greek PM George Papandreou/Named a finance supremo today who/Has gotta spend less/Said Pap “It’s a mess/As we’re bust I’m unable to pay you” 28 days ago
• An Egyptian called Ayman’s now leader/Of terror franchise Al Qaeda/It’s a step up in theory/For al-Zawahiri/But I wouldn’t envy the bleeder. 29 days ago
• A dirty old man named The Hef/Has been dumped by his younger GF/They were 2 be wed/But she sensibly fled/Saying “That old lech? What the F?” 29 days ago
• The Mediterranean diet/Is austerity, tear gas and riot/As lines of police/Charge protesters in #Greece/Causing pan-European disquiet. 29 days ago
• Italians, in four referenda/Have binned #Berlusconi’s agenda/MPs must face court/A demand that he fought/(Being now an alleged sex offender) 30 days ago
• Global chess dignitary Kirsan/Played chess with Gaddafi in person/So matey, fraternal/A pawn of the Colonel/Whose endgame continues 2 worsen 31 days ago
• I fear that a blogger called Tom/Has faked who he is, and where from/He can’t as he says be an/Arabic lesbian/And a heterosexual Scots homme 31 days ago
• So Weiner is now being treated/Because of the pix that he tweeted/He’s entered a clinic/Which is, to a cynic/PR for top men who have cheated 32 days ago
• There was a gay girl called Amina/From Edinburgh? Ayr? Argentina?/She was from Damascus/Until the unmaskers/Found noone in Syria’d seen ‘er 33 days ago
• The elderly Marquess of Bath/Has 2 women on the warpath/Tho Lord B’s not glamorous/He is polyamorous/Causing friction within the Bath hearth 34 days ago
• We now know a lot about #Palin/& various folks she was mailin/But for all of our pokin/One sunbed is smokin/So gunwise the effort is failin 34 days ago
• A Republican hopeful named Newt/Is in crisis intense & acute /His team quit en masse/Thinking #Gingrich an ass/A theory quite hard to refute 35 days ago
• Society heiress Jemima/Is our wealthiest journo part-timer/The Indy so credit ‘er/They made her an editor/Khan her fortune get any sublimer? 35 days ago
• There was an old man with a beard/Who said it is just as I feared/This shit, said the bishop/The gov’t dish up/Is getting increasingly weird 36 days ago
• Congressman Anthony #Weiner/Won’t abandon the public arena/But his plans may be wrecked/If the pix of erect/Weiner’s Wiener get any obscener 37 days ago
• A Man U footballer called Wayne/Found premature baldness a pain/One day he said Darn It/I’ll grow a New Barnet/Trichologist, give me a mane! 37 days ago
• There is an iMan named iSteve/Was off on iMedical leave/But with his i4 business/iGuess he was missin’ us/Now he’s selling a cloud, iBelieve 38 days ago
• The spread of Ecoli bacteria’s/Becoming increasingly serious/Now everyone doubts/That it was the beansprouts/So its origin’s very mysterious 38 days ago
• There is a collider from CERN/Its particles endlessly turn/& now it has caught/Antimatter, it’s thought/There’ll B stuff on creation 2 learn 38 days ago
• Portuguese PM Socrates/Has lost to the centre-right parties/He’ll be 4 posterity/A man of austerity/But I wonder is that where his heart is 39 days ago
• An old politician from Sanaa/Left town in a curious manner/When things got too rowdy/He was whisked off to Saudi/With barely a hasta manana 40 days ago
• An old US doctor has died/Who helped hundreds towards suicide/’Dr Death’ Jack #Kevorkian/Got America talkin’/For which he did 8 years inside 41 days ago
• When #Mladic appeared on trial/He looked like a man in denial/Asked if he had read/The indictment he said/Gimme 2 months to go thru the file 42 days ago
• A former Mass governor called Mitt/Is doing the primaries bit/But will US voters/See #Romney as POTUS/Or will Palin make him look shit? 42 days ago
• Google’s blamed cyberattacks/On a series of Chinese-led hacks/Beijing’s seeing red/Suggesting instead/That it’s #gmail security that’s lax 42 days ago
• Celebrity lawyer K #Schilling/Asked a date if she’d kindly be willing/To put in her name a/Pro forma disclaimer/Not to do any bean-spilling 43 days ago
• The manager known as Big Sam/Has joined relegated West Ham/A million a season/Must be the real reason/He’s tempted to follow Avram 44 days ago
• How do you make Blackpool rock?/By drilling for shale round the clock/Apparently fracking/Resulted in cracking/The quake ergo wasn’t ad hoc 44 days ago
• E Coli in German food chain/= Spanish produce down the drain/But now their salade/Didnt cause the malade/So the pain in Spain’s on the plain 44 days ago
• As a black Tory peer, Lord Warwick/Was called, in the 90s, historic/But now John D Taylor/Is off to the gaoler/His fall we can call meteoric 44 days ago
• There was an old ship from Belfast/#Titanic, intended to last/But as we all know/She went with the floe/Since when almost a century’s passed 45 days ago
• I’m not quite sure what is the matter/With FIFA boss Josep S Blatter/He looks apopleptic/& maybe dyspeptic/The former, result of the latter? 45 days ago
• Mladic has tried to buy time/In a Serbian court pantomime/His appeal’s in the post/Which’ll gain him at most/A day till he faces his crime 45 days ago
• Germany’s phasing out nukes/And putting restrictions on cukes/What’s fallout’s connection/To E coli infection?/Both can result in the pukes 45 days ago
• In a day of considerable grief for/The ethics committee of FIFA/It blocked bin Hammam/Alleging a scam/The presser, tho, coulda bin briefer 46 days ago
• Blackbeard the pirate’s ship’s anchor/Was found where his NMEs sank ‘er/He’d rob & he’d plunder/& often I wonder/Today would BB be a banker? 46 days ago
• Barcelona outplayed Man United/Leaving most football lovers delighted/The classier Barca’s/Superior passers/Impressed & enthralled & excited 46 days ago
• The poet/singer called Gil/Reported our world with great skill/With passionate views/He rapped on the news/His verses live on with us still 48 days ago
• FIFA is probing Sepp Blatter/(The one like Jim Broadbent but fatter)/The ethics committee/Is after his kitty/And ditto the geezer from Qatar 48 days ago
• A general, one Ratko Mladic/Was arrested, says President Tadic/He murdered in Bosnia/And I’d say he wasnae a/Nice man at all- rather caddish 49 days ago
• Cheryl Cole’s out of US XFactor/S Cowell has suddenly sacked ‘er/Her accent is Geordie/& dress not so bawdy/So they hired another contractor 50 days ago
• Tis a sin in the Palace of Buckinam/2 slurp on your oysters when suckinem/But rule No1/It just isnt done/2 grab royal dogs & start strokinem 50 days ago
• The Queen & the Pope & Mandela/Come under #Obama’s umbrella/Of top famous folk/Who came here & spoke/And are all more than usually stellar 50 days ago
• The ruling elite of the Danes/Has gone 2 remarkable pains/To crack down on #marmite/So owning a jar might/Put yeast extract eaters in chains 50 days ago
• Planes are grounded by volcanic ash/In case it results in a crash/But poor ol Ryanair/Is going quite spare/Cos O’Leary’s main worry is cash 51 days ago
• A folk singer from the Midwest/Used his lyrics and voice to protest/At 70 yrs old/He is not quite as bold/But #Dylan back then was the best 51 days ago
• The LibDem MP called John Hemming/Can name Giggs no fear of condemning/For he’s an MP/But that’s not for me/I don’t fancy being a lemming 52 days ago
• A woman who lives in Khobar/Went out for a spin in a car/The Saudi cops nicked her/And will now convict her/Which even for them goes too far 52 days ago
• A manager, C. Ancelotti/Was sacked in a manner quite potty/Redundancy beckoned/When Chelsea came 2nd/Can’t wait for the verdict from Motty. 53 days ago
• A player from Wales called Ryan/Has talent worth keeping an eye on/His skill on the ball/Impresses us all/And away form that you can rely on 53 days ago
• We tweeters do not give 2 figs/For the judgments of oldies in wigs/Now a paper in Scotland/Has shown it’s got bottle and/Named the man as R 53 days ago
• In the absence of 1000s ascending/It seems that the world isn’t ending/& as we adjust/In Twitter we trust/(NB: #survivalsunday now trending) 54 days ago
• Icelandic volcano Grimsvotn/Is blowing its top something rotten/Such an eruption/Could lead to disruption/Like Eyjafjall-oh, I’ve forgotten 54 days ago
• A prophet from Berkeley, CA/Has decided today’s #rapture day/When those who’re gifted/With virtue are lifted/While the rest of us party away 55 days ago
• An athlete holds #twitter to blame/For soiling his very good name/Despite sly in-digs/You will see flying pigs/Before I will mention a name 55 days ago
• A fellow from Washington State/Has admitted his car is his mate/Being autoerotic/May seem idiotic/But thank goodness they can’t procreate 55 days ago
• An MP called Elliott Morley/Abused his expenses quite sorely/The claims that he made/When his mortgage was paid/Reflect on democracy poorly 55 days ago
• A banker they call Fred the Shred/Had a bond with a colleague, its said/But tho RBS/Got us into a mess/Do we care what goes on in his bed? 56 days ago
• A Danish director called Lars/Has created a festival farce/The folk who run #Cannes/Gave Von Trier a ban/For speaking, I’d say, from his ars 56 days ago
• DSK’s IMF resignation/Clears the way for a new nomination/The transglobal lender/Needs a non-sex offender/To clean up its soiled reputation 57 days ago
• A silly old Tory called Ken/Has put his foot in it again/He got in a scrape/With his comments on rape/And his sacking’s not if now, but when 57 days ago
• A Brit OAP called The Queen/Went to Ireland dressed up in green/Her actual shade/Was more of a jade/Than that worn on the nationalist scene 58 days ago
• A model who went on Big Brother/Told all on her footballer lover/The judge said ‘you slag’/I’m imposing a gag/So the man, _ , kept his cover 58 days ago
• There is an old man, DSK/Who makes nations like Portugal pay/When they get in debt/He sets terms 2 be met/But he needs his own bailout today 59 days ago
• The IMF boss, Dominique/Is an expert in haute-politique/But assaulting a maid/Must imply, I’m afraid/That his future career’s up the crique 60 days ago
• A minister called Mr Huhne/May be leaving the govt soon/It’s increasingly my sense/The row re his licence/Will force him to alter his tune 60 days ago
• 2 singers from Azerbaijan/Won #Eurovision with some elan/But pop music’s new queen/Resides in Palmers Green/So the real winner is Londontahn 61 days ago
• Mr X has had zero compunction/In taking a #superinjunction/It bars me from saying/Whose part X was playing/Or describing the bodily function 62 days ago
• Tho the Libyan Jamahiriya/Has been run on the basis of fear/With the loss of the east/The chance has increased/Of an end to Gaddafi’s career 62 days ago
• The violent death of Osama/Was ordered by Barack Obama/But some say the leader/Behind al Qaeda/Had his dogma knocked down by his karma 63 days ago
• There was an old man name of Lear/We remember this day every year/Had he had Twitter then/He’da put down the pen/And written a limerick here 63 days ago
• 1 yr of Con-Dem coalition/Has left Clegg in an iffy position /Tho he whipped his MPs/2 vote Tory on fees/Mutual love’s given way 2 suspicion 63 days ago
• The system of 1st past the post/Awards seats to the one polling most/When using AV/You vote 1,2 and 3/So round 1’s winner may end up toast 63 days ago
• A sinful old fellow from Putney/Devoured 53 jars of chutney/He said I have tried/Sloth wrath envy & pride/Lust & avarice now Im on gluttony 63 days ago