Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Weighting Tables

To back a campaign by the statePromoting a clean, empty plate,A resto in ChinaHas scales for each diner,With menus adjusted for weight. https://t.co/TA3AGk1zay

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Power Seeker

A whiner who owns his own towerSays pressure’s too low in the shower,Please turn up the water,But nobody oughtaLet this guy have any more power. https://t.co/94zTU4ZclJ

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A Deal Built on Stilton

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Young, Dumb and…

For anti-lockdowners desirous/ Of trysts with like-minded admirers,/ The Toadmeister’s site/ Lets folks on the right/ In literal terms, fuck the virus.///

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Lucky Lukashenko

A long-serving leader from MinskSays everyone voted him insk,But carting off votesDown ladders, one notes,Is not a great way to convinsk. https://t.co/ufF4HxPI9m

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Muffed Translation

Two firms have said sorry for boobsThat must be the work of right noobs,Or some PR guruWho said huruhuruMeant feather in Maori (it’s pubes). https://t.co/M7AxPpnA0b

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Naturist v Nature

A nudist relaxing outdoorsFell victim to thieves on all foursAnd chased, minus clobber,The bag-snatching robber,Exposing the cheek of the boars. https://t.co/h2hq5BlZ1C

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Come die with me

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Fox in socks steals heels

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What’s Come Over Hampshire?

In Hampshire a firefighting forceLooked into a gas escape’s sourceAnd so can confirmIt comes from the sperm,That’s cryopreserved, of a horse. https://t.co/FBLLonkJyE

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