Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Go Fish!

The fish Microbrachius dicki,/ Had sex, though at first it was tricky;/ In long ago lakes,/ For all our sakes,/ They boldly invented the quickie,/// https://t.co/BajR9UO5OF

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Awks for AUKUS

In launching a body named AUKUS,/ A western security caucus,/ Joe thanked, in a blunder,/ “The fella down under”,/ Engendering laughter most raucous./// https://t.co/orJBepz6Z8

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Reshuffle Kerfuffle

The PM promoted Liz Truss,/ Chucked Williamson under the bus,/ Gave Culture to Dorries,/ Gove Housing (plus Lorries!),/ And chucked Raab a bone for his fuss./// https://t.co/rWvlgnlUm3

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Lats for pats

A German research team avows/ That cattle who shit as they browse/ Are harming the planet,/ But rather than ban it,/ We just need to potty-train cows./// https://t.co/JEroV0p2bh

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Gone Bad

Top GB News man Andrew Neil/ Has quit three months into his deal,/ Right-wing badinage/ With chaps like Farage/ It seems having lost its appeal./// https://t.co/KGNy9DSGRK

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Canu credit it?

Young Emma, at only eighteen,/ Burst on to the world tennis scene/ And won a Grand Slam,/ The odd school exam/ Another thing aced in between./// https://t.co/2sxZqkNcHw

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Horny question

A project that’s quite hard to beat/ Found held upside down by its feet/ And hung from the sky no/ Harm comes to a rhino -/ Researchers, your work is complete!/// https://t.co/wNyz3xjthg

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Gavin a mare

When Gavin declared he met Marcus,/ His failings were rendered quite stark as/ He got the wrong name,/ Wrong player, wrong game,/ The walking political carcass./// https://t.co/d3cIgKKt8j

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Bloody quackers

A duck on a Canberra pool,/ Who hadn’t learned English at school,/ Could speak it, and quacked,/ While mating, in fact,/ His fuck-a-duck phrase “bloody fool!”/// https://t.co/eMbzWNTidz

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Mullah tea-party democracy

There was an old man with a beard/Who said “It is just as you feared,/The Taliban cabinet/Has not one hijab in it,/Just old men like me with a beard”./// https://t.co/Uqlj2cNz04

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