Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Boris’s red herring

Posted on July 18, 2019

The words of the blond ego-tripper/ Who brandished an Isle of Man kipper/ Were piffle and pish -/ For non-EU fish,/ The UK sets rules for the shipper./// The words of the blond ego-tripperWho brandished an Isle of Man kipperWere … Continue reading →

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Swarm front

Posted on July 18, 2019

The outlook for Sussex and Hants/ Has residents crapping their pants -/ That cloud isn’t rain,/ Forecasters explain,/ It’s one massive shower of ants./// The outlook for Sussex and HantsHas residents crapping their pants –That cloud isn't rain,Forecasters explain,It's one … Continue reading →

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The langouste goodbye

Posted on July 18, 2019

De Rugy protested in vain/ He hadn’t a head for champagne/ And didn’t like lobster -/ Like Macron gives jobs to/ Old killjoys whose tastes are so plain!/// De Rugy protested in vainHe hadn't a head for champagneAnd didn't like … Continue reading →

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Race to the bottom

Posted on July 15, 2019

Trump’s Twitter account just disgraces ‘im,/ All far-right ideas, he embraces ’em -/ To start down the track:/ ‘They’re black, send ’em back’/ Is out-and-out undisguised racism./// Trump's Twitter account just disgraces 'im,All far-right ideas, he embraces 'em –To start … Continue reading →

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Final fizz

Posted on July 14, 2019

The final left England in clover,/ The dream for New Zealand all over,/ But both gave their all/ Until the last ball/ Of cricket’s champagne superover./// The final left England in clover,The dream for New Zealand all over,But both gave … Continue reading →

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First Serb

Posted on July 14, 2019

A fellow named Novak from Serbia/ Played tennis in London’s suburbia/ And though Roger Federer/ Just kept getting betterer/ Old Djoko was even superb-ier./// A fellow named Novak from SerbiaPlayed tennis in London's suburbiaAnd though Roger FedererJust kept getting bettererOld … Continue reading →

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Hardened criminal sought

Posted on July 11, 2019

A face-tattooed mulleted scuzz/ Is wanted for theft by the fuzz/ Who say that he took/ Vibrators, the crook!/ Perhaps it was just for the buzz./// A face-tattooed mulleted scuzzIs wanted for theft by the fuzzWho say that he tookVibrators, … Continue reading →

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Ambo in limbo

Posted on July 10, 2019

A diplomat fellow named Kim/ Said POTUS’s White House was grim;/ When Trump got the hump/ And Johnson kissed rump/ It all ended badly for him./// A diplomat fellow named KimSaid POTUS's White House was grim;When Trump got the humpAnd … Continue reading →

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Yodel air hoo-ha

Posted on July 10, 2019

The Swiss Patrol’s aerial show/ Got townspeople up to high doh/ By drowning their song -/ A terrible wrong/ To lay low a yodeller so./// The Swiss Patrol's aerial show Got townspeople up to high dohBy drowning their song –A … Continue reading →

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The wrong Kim

Posted on July 9, 2019

A thin-skinned old fellow named Trump/ Got into a bit of a grump/ As Britain’s ambassador/ Could not have been acider/ About the incompetent chump./// A thin-skinned old fellow named Trump Got into a bit of a grump As Britain's … Continue reading →

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