Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Resisting A Vest

A senior Manchester cop/ Was censured for lifting her top,/ Displaying her breast/ And mocking the chest/ Produced by a colleague’s boob op./// https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/dec/01/police-chiefs-tirade-about-breasts-was-gross-misconduct-panel-rules A senior Manchester copWas censured for lifting her top,Displaying her breastAnd mocking the chestProduced by a … Continue reading

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Zac Attack

There is an old Tory named Zac/ Whom voters have given the sack/ He scored an own goal/ By calling a poll/ But failing to win his seat back./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38178486 There is an old Tory named ZacWhom voters have given … Continue reading

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Swamp Creature

Mnuchin the Wall St exec,/ The next US Treasury Sec,/ Was hired by Trump/ To drain a big swamp/ In which he is up to his neck./// (Sorry about the half-rhyme in lines 3/4 – it felt close enough under … Continue reading

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Brexit’s a Piece of Cake

A Brexit note captured in shot/ Reveals the government plot/ Is Have Cake and Eat it/ Though Brussels may greet it/ With Shit or Get off of the Pot./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-latest-secret-memo-leak-plans-cake-and-eat-it-a7445231.html A Brexit note captured in shotReveals the government plotIs Have … Continue reading

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Balls on the Floor

If progress in politics stalls/ Don’t sit around waiting for calls/ Rebrand yourself slickly/ By going on Strictly/ And learning to do the Ed Balls./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-38123174 If progress in politics stallsDon't sit idly waiting for callsRebrand yourself slicklyBy going on … Continue reading

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London’s Burning

A wealthy old scion of punk,/ Deciding nostalgia was bunk,/ Constructed a pyre/ And set it on fire/ Destroying his parents’ old junk./// https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/nov/26/punx-not-dead-joe-corre-burns-memorabilia-worth-5m-on-thames A wealthy old scion of punk,Deciding nostalgia was bunk,Constructed a pyreAnd set it on fireDestroying his … Continue reading

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Havana Top Banana

There was an old man with a beard/ Who said it is just as I feared/ Those CIA blokes/ Put bombs in my smokes/ And other stuff even more weird./// So farewell Fidel Castro. I did a new version of … Continue reading

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Cold Store War

In Iceland v Iceland a claim/ Relating to use of their name/ Pits cold Nordic land/ Against foodstore brand/ Whose nomenclature is the same.//// https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/nov/24/government-of-iceland-to-challenge-retail-chain-iceland-over-name-use In Iceland v Iceland a claimRelating to use of their namePits cold Nordic landAgainst foodstore … Continue reading

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Pants on Fire

An e-cigarette conflagration/ Erupted at Grand Central Station/ It burst like a rocket/ Inside a man’s pocket -/ At least that was his explanation./// (OK – after seeing the video, I’m not going to doubt this man’s story!) https://www.theguardian.com/society/video/2016/nov/25/e-cigarette-explodes-in-mans-pocket-in-new-york-video https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/801914322070990850

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Sheer Loonacy

Canadian bird the gray jay,/ To popular shock and dismay,/ Is national bird/ Though loons were preferred/ By most people having a say./// http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/gray-jay-national-bird-canadian-geographic-rom-ornithologist-1.3856361 Canadian bird the gray jay,To popular shock and dismay,Is national birdThough loons were preferredBy most people … Continue reading

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