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Twitter
- A product, one customer claims, Endorsed by big Hollywood names, Proved too hot to handle, Gwyn's vadge-scented can… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 3 hours ago
- The dating apps Tinder and Bumble Are helping the FBI rumble Trump's Capitol stormers As flirting informers Snare P… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 day ago
- RT @kiukiuli: @twitmericks 😊 twitter.com/AndrewJCrowthe… 1 day ago
- Though pleasures in lockdown are scanty, And much social media's ranty, Worse things, it may be, Still happen at se… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 3 days ago
- RT @TomTormTam: @twitmericks If the hard drive is too caked in gunk His plan to be rich would be sunk To avoid getting burned To a hedge fu… 4 days ago
Meta
Author Archives: twitmericks
Fannying the Flames
A product, one customer claims,/ Endorsed by big Hollywood names,/ Proved too hot to handle,/ Gwyn’s vadge-scented candle/ Exploding and shooting out flames./
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Hookup, Line and Sinker
The dating apps Tinder and Bumble/ Are helping the FBI rumble/ Trump’s Capitol stormers/ As flirting informers/ Snare Proud Boys in search of a fumble./
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TikTok and up she rises
Though pleasures in lockdown are scanty,And much social media’s ranty,Worse things, it may be,Still happen at sea,So cast off your cares with a shanty. https://t.co/vjB0CZmoLo
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Where there’s muck, there’s brass
A chap in a bit of a bind/ Asked staff at a landfill to find/ The hard drive he trashed/ With bitcoins uncashed -/ They’re waiting, he says, to be mined./
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The Giant Impeach
An orange-faced man of Palm Beach/ Who caused a security breach/ To try to redeem / His tangerine dream / Instead put the peach in impeach./
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Amazeballs
It’s not that he frequently falls,/ Or pulls up when leaving the stalls,// What’s making this horse/ So slow on the course/ Is just his extremely large balls.///
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Not so Super Spread
A firm of Conservative chums/ Was rumbled by furious mums/ For spending five quid/ On food for each kid/ While trousering much larger sums./ https://t.co/LqROVvwqdK
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Sweet Deal?
The people are starting to twigThe impact from Brexit is bigAnd getting immenserFor now Marks and SpencerMust pay to export Percy Pig. https://t.co/7PSgRZJHlx
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Great Misleader
“I’m shocked”, declared Trump, “through and through,At what we have witnessed. Who knewThe mob that I summonedWould be quite so dumb andDo just what I told them to do?” https://t.co/7dTWiKatK2
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Meet Ivor Biggun
Some argue it doesn’t belongOn children’s TV, but is wrongAnd inopportuneTo show a cartoonOn Penis-man’s very long schlong. https://t.co/VB4ts88QjY
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