Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Pub Hubbub

In Somerset canvassing, Keir/ Nipped into the pub for a beer./ The landlord, a sceptic,/ Went quite apoplectic/ And yelled: “You’re not welcome in here!”/// https://t.co/AuhN5rkE31

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Professional Foul

The governing body UEFA/ Says breakaway plotters will PEFA/ Their superleague plans,/ Which none of their fans,/ It seems, has a good word to SEFA./// https://t.co/Q0DEWeubRc

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Gnobody Home

Retailers who seek to import/ Equipment for gardens report/ Since Suez got blocked/ They can’t get restocked,/ And gnomes are especially short.///

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Honourable Member

Will Amos MP, a Quebecker,/ The parliament Zoom session-wrecker,/ Had no way of knowing/ His camera was going,/ He says, when he got out his pecker./// https://t.co/b6pYb88jlD

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Copycaterpillar

The firm M and S is to make/ The case, reputation at stake,/ That Aldi has stollen/ The character Colin/ For its caterpillar-shaped cake./// https://t.co/8IzUvQPByX

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Lobbying Grenades

The ruling majority smothers/ A probe into Cameron, Cruthers/ And Tory MPs/ Caught up in their sleaze,/ As Johnson admits there’ll be others.///

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Bunny Heist

Police say the world’s biggest rabbit,/ Which doesn’t abscond, as a habit,/ Has just disappeared,/ And so it is feared/ A criminal broke in to nab it.//// https://t.co/xyt1DxhiOs

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Influence Back-pedalling

Said David: “The access I bought/ Apparently now counts for naught,/ And being thus spurned,/ This lesson I’ve learned:/ Whatever you do, don’t get caught”./// https://t.co/6XRvG2TnEy

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Intern-al Investigation

A Tory MP known as Rob,/ Who pestered an intern, the slob,/ By texting her things/ Like ‘Let’s fool, no strings’,/ Got off with a slap on the knob./// https://t.co/HqtVxWVkvA

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Mover and Shaker

There was an old prince from Corfu/ Who married a princess he knew/ And shook lots of hands/ In various lands/ While asking “And what do you do?”///

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