Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Onan the Barbarian

Posted on November 13, 2019

Old Johnson loves pulling a flanker,/ Attacking his foes with some rancour,/ But since to withdraw/ Was Onan’s true flaw*,/ It’s unclear who here is the wanker./// https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/boris-johnson-onanism-jeremy-corbyn-brexit-speech-election-tories_uk_5dcaf96de4b0eb9121299377?utm_hp_ref=uk-politics *https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan the tweet

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Living on air

Posted on November 12, 2019

For fans of a sugary roll,/ With weight they would like to control,/ A doughnut’s the thing,/ Which has in its ring/ A calorie-free central hole./// https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/greggs-to-encourage-healthy-eating-by-offering-diet-doughnuts-with-a-hole-920674 donut tweet

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His Master’s Voice

Posted on November 11, 2019

The Brexiteer Farage will dump/ His promise to go on the stump/ In Tory-held seats,/ A climbdown that meets/ The wish of his boss, Donald Trump./// on twitter

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Crude Soil

Posted on November 7, 2019

A chain store is turning to muck/ Because it thinks fossil fuels suck,/ The folks at John Lewis/ Concluding cow poo is/ The clean way to power a truck./// A chain store is turning to muckBecause it thinks fossil fuels … Continue reading →

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Launching into Trouble

Posted on November 7, 2019

Welsh minister Cairns has to quit,/ Rees-Mogg is an upper-class twit,/ Whom Bridgen’s admires,/ A fake ad backfires,/ And Johnson spouts microwaved shit./// On Twitter

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Uncommonly Senseless

Posted on November 5, 2019

Old Jacob Rees-Mogg gave offence/ At victims of Grenfell’s expense/ With comments so crass/ It’s plain that the ass/ Entirely lacks common sense!/// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-50302573 link to tweet version

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Make Poor People History

Posted on November 4, 2019

A Tory who’s standing in Gower/ Said ‘Benefits Street? What a shower -/ They should be put down!’,/ Which gained her renown,/ But won’t make HQ disallow ‘er./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-50283520 twitter link

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Flying Solo

Posted on November 4, 2019

An albatross seeking a mate/ Endured an extremely long wait,/ For Rob was a bird,/ Researchers averred,/ Whose singing just wasn’t that great./// https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/oct/31/amused-us-for-years-hope-floats-as-rob-the-unappealing-albatross-finds-a-mate An albatross seeking a mateEndured an extremely long wait,For Rob was a bird,Researchers averred,Whose singing just … Continue reading →

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Ashes to Hashish

Posted on October 30, 2019

A teenager wanted to bake/ Her friends a nice cannabis cake;/ Alas it was fed/ To mourners instead,/ Who had a high time at the wake./// A teenager wanted to bakeHer friends a nice cannabis cake;Alas it was fedTo mourners … Continue reading →

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Nixed by Knicker-nicker

Posted on October 29, 2019

Officials in Kurdistan say/ A slip gave Baghdadi away,/ Caught out by a blunder where/ Spies stole his underwear,/ Providing some groin DNA./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-50218637 on twitter

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