Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Tara Terry

Posted on January 23, 2020

There once was a man who’d employ/ His talents to bring the world joy:/ In women’s attire,/ “He’s not the Messiah”,/ He shrieked, “He’s a very naughty boy!”*/// *Apologies for the extra syllable in the last line. I’m normally strict … Continue reading →

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States of Denial

Posted on January 21, 2020

Said Donald, a consummate liar With form as a climate denier, Those prophets of doom Just keep spreading gloom! Said Greta, the world is on fire. #DavosToday #WEF20 #GretaThurnberg #Trump #WEFDavos https://t.co/1l4X5tywHK

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Space Cadets

Posted on January 18, 2020

American forces in space Have suffered severe loss of face From camouflage gear Which some people fear Will look, with no trees, out of place. #spacecamo #SpaceFarce #SpaceForce https://t.co/rURFDB5Mgh

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Hands-on Training

Posted on January 15, 2020

A boxer was heard to insist The action is all in the wrist – By beating his meat On endless repeat, He’s practising hard with one fist. #tysonfury #furywilder2 https://t.co/43R1wM3Iu8

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No-bell Prize

Posted on January 14, 2020

The UK PM recommends The nation through crowdfunding spends A cool half a million On Big Ben’s carillion For Brexit, or else… the bell ends! #bigbenbongs #BorisJohnson https://t.co/CRa1lPqGGX

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Pecker Checker

Posted on January 12, 2020

A health testing firm’s come along/ Requesting a pic of your schlong/ With which its new app/ Will diagnose clap -/ Now what in the world could go wrong?/// A health testing firm's come alongRequesting a pic of your schlongWith … Continue reading →

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Married to the Mob

Posted on January 9, 2020

A princeling whose grandma’s the Queen Declared: ‘We’re not into that scene’; The palace snapped: ‘Harry, Whoever you marry, You can’t quit the royal machine’. #HarryandMeghan #PrinceHarry #royals #Harrymeghan https://t.co/671bxTEfig

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Papal Passion Killer

Posted on January 7, 2020

A papal trip seemingly wrecks Italians’ enjoyment of sex – Libidos all wilt From Catholic guilt And noone for weeks even necks. https://t.co/LVRKFBTdav

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Stupid Tosser

Posted on January 5, 2020

A fellow threw coins at a plane But found he had done so in vain – Deciding to chuck Some money for luck, Financially, brought only pain. https://t.co/nVPzcADXxg

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World Dom-ination

Posted on January 3, 2020

A would-be commander of geeks/ Has posted a job ad that seeks/ His own kindred souls,/ To fill Whitehall roles/ With asocial weirdos and freaks./// A would-be commander of geeksHas posted a job ad that seeksHis own kindred souls,To fill … Continue reading →

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