Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Anthony and the Johnson

Ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner/ Whose selfies got ever obscener/ Hit marital strife/ When Huma, his wife,/ Discovered a fresh misdemeanour./// Ex-Congressman Anthony #Weiner Whose selfies got ever obscenerHit marital strifeWhen Huma, his wife,Discovered a fresh misdemeanour. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) August … Continue reading

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In Deep Doo-doo

A man who climbed into a loo/ Found this was a dumb thing to do/ He got himself trapped/ Where many had crapped/ Thigh-deep in a cauldron of poo./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/norwegian-man-rescued-trapped-inside-toilet-cato-berntsen-larsen-a7212841.html A man who climbed into a looFound this was a … Continue reading

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Judge Pisses on Bathroom Law

A judge has now told UNC/ It cannot enforce a decree/ Prescribing which cans/ Some folks who are trans/  Must use when they go for a pee./// A judge has now told #UNCIt can not enforce a decreePrescribing which cansSome … Continue reading

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News: Mick Twister to speak

If you’re in London in October you’ll have the chance to hear me read some limericks and talk about @twitmericks, There was an Old Geezer Called Caesar and the second Mick Twister book, There was an Old Man with Six Wives: … Continue reading

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Proxi Music

Excited astronomers say/ They know of a planet that may/ Have life – and what’s more/ It’s almost next door,/ Just over four light years away!/// https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg23130884-100-proxima-b-closest-earth-like-planet-discovered-right-next-door/ Excited astronomers sayThey know of a planet that mayHave life – and what's … Continue reading

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Costume Drama

A beach-going woman in Nice/ Was fined by the local police/ For brazenly wearing/ A suit that’s not baring,/ Now seen as a breach of the peace./// https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/aug/24/french-burkini-ban-row-escalates-clothing-incident-woman-police-nice-beach A beach-going woman in NiceWas fined by the local policeFor brazenly wearingA … Continue reading

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No Virgin Berth?

When Jez took a train to a meeting/ Rampacked, it had no empty seating/ Now Virgin says bull/ It wasn’t that full/ And Jeremy’s sit-in was fleeting./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/jeremy-corbyn-richard-branson-go-8692936 When Jez got a train to a meetingRampacked, it had no empty … Continue reading

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Penguin on Parade

A penguin at Edinburgh zoo/ Inspected the royal tattoo./ The flippered Norwegian,/ A knight of the legion,/ Has now been made brigadier too./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-37155792 A penguin at Edinburgh zooInspected the royal tattoo.The flippered Norwegian,A knight of the legion,Has now been … Continue reading

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Korea Break

A man disillusioned with Kim/ Declared North Korea to be grim,/ Deserting Pyongyang/ And that whole shebang,/ For which he was labelled a crim./// http://news.sky.com/story/north-korea-describes-diplomat-who-defected-as-human-scum-10544398 A man disillusioned with KimDeclared North Korea to be grim,Deserting PyongyangAnd that whole shebang,For which … Continue reading

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Swimmers’ Tale Doesn’t Hold Water

Old Jimmy, Jack, Gunnar and Ryan/ Are under suspicion of lyin’ – Inventing a robbery/ To cover their yobbery,/ Which Rio police are not buyin’./// http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/08/18/ryan-lochte-swimmers-fabricated-story-robbed-gunpoint/88946508/ Old Jimmy, Jack, Gunnar and RyanAre under suspicion of lyin' –Inventing a robberyTo cover their … Continue reading

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