Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Duke of hazard

A very old royal named Phil/ Has had to explain to the Bill/ He crashed his Land Rover/ And flipped it right over,/ But still isn’t over the hill. A very old royal named PhilHas had to explain to the … Continue reading

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Confidence in confidence alone

A PM who’s now a lame duck/ Is nonetheless riding her luck;/ MPs expressed confidence,/ Despite her incompetence,/ And gave her more time up to fuck./// A PM who's now a lame duckIs nonetheless riding her luck;MPs expressed confidence,Despite her … Continue reading

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Mayday!

Theresa has lost her big fight,/ The May-backing Ayes to the right/ Not having the heft/ Of noes to the left/ Who reckon her Brexit deal’s shite./// Theresa has lost her big fight,The May-backing Ayes to the rightNot having the … Continue reading

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Rock ‘n’ troll

When Williams got into a spat/ With Page in the neighbouring flat,*/ To get him annoyed/ He blasted Pink Floyd,/ Deep Purple and Sabbath – take that!/// *for rhyming and scansion – I know it’s a mansion. When Williams got … Continue reading

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Quailing quisling

A Brexit supporter named Grayling/ Would like to see democrats quailing/ For fear that it might/ Incite the far right/ To find all their schemes unavailing./// A Brexit supporter named GraylingWould like to see everyone quailingFor fear that it mightIncite … Continue reading

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Oh no it isn’t any good

A show with a beanstalk and Jack/ At Christmas came in for such flak/ They had to admit/ The panto was shit/ And give the admission fee back./// A show with a beanstalk and JackAt Christmas came in for such … Continue reading

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Radio stars

Astronomers picked up a trace/ Of radio signals from space,/ Suggesting we may/ Discover some day/ A podcasting alien race./// Astronomers picked up a traceOf radio signals from space,Suggesting we mayDiscover some dayA podcasting alien race.#Space #FRB https://t.co/YSVygXSjOw — Mick … Continue reading

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Cock-eyed prescription

A woman who to her surprise/ Got cream of the type one applies/ For penile dysfunction,/ Not ocular unction,/ Is now making love with her eyes./// A woman who to her surpriseGot cream of the type one appliesFor penile dysfunction,Not … Continue reading

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Trucking hell

The government lined up some truckers,/ And taking the public for suckers,/ Said this would reveal/ They’re primed for No Deal,/ The lying incompetent fuckers*./// *Looking back over 2018, I realised I’d used the last-minute swerve-the-swear-word gag about half a … Continue reading

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Ships with everything

All customers hiring our ships/ For post-Brexit freight-bearing trips/ In case of No Deal,/ When choosing your meal,/ Please order side salad or chips./// All customers hiring our shipsFor post-Brexit freight-bearing tripsIn case of No Deal,When choosing your meal,Please order … Continue reading

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