Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Johnson gets exit done

He partied while sick patients died,/ Protected a groper and lied,/ Reneged on his deals,/ Then dug in his heels/ Till no one was left on his side.///

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Johnson feels pinch

“I’ll get along fine”, declared Boris,/ “I’ll ride this thing out now, no worries,/ Though Sajid has quit,/ And Rishi, the shit,/ Et tu – I’ll give both jobs to Dorries”./// https://t.co/Pu7prFBJsZ

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Booze from loos

Though many may take it amiss,/ Declaring, “I’m not drinking this!”,/ In Singapore brewers/ Say waste from the sewers/ Is great when you’re out on the piss./// https://t.co/N51FsKLmSu

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Pincher hits bottom

Chris Pincher, a top Tory whipBlamed booze after losing his grip:“It’s rather a farce,I do feel an arse –And that’s why I’ve had to jump ship”. https://t.co/j3BKZdhbe2

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Sexchequer funding

A sex party firm on the rocks/ Soon found opportunity knocks,/ For tax-paying Britons/ Bailed out Killing Kittens,/ In which the UK now owns stocks./// https://t.co/55dExhA5C2

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Chair pays for seat loss

“When Tory results go to shit”/ Said Dowden, “I think it is fit”/ That senior bosses/ Account for our losses./ Since Johnson won’t do it, I quit”./// https://t.co/N7fbLwr0ki

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News in briefs

Lace underwear made for a man/ May just be a flash in the pan/ But shorts that are frilly/ And highlight the willy/ Are making it big in Japan./// https://t.co/GztTLKrgQ9

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Sex on eight legs

A very small species of mite/ Has sex on your face every night -/ The parasites cling on/ To hairs that they swing on/ In scenes of erotic delight./ https://t.co/zYsWBi40MI

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What’s Johnson’s game?

As Number 10 tries hard to parryThe tales of job offers to Carrie,Will Johnson now claimIt’s all just a gameHe plays, known as “Shag, appoint, marry”? https://t.co/AuFYh0nfvZ

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The only way is ethics

The ethics adviser Lord Geidt/ Resigned his position toneidt,/ For who can advise/ A fellow who lies,/ And ethics-wise, gives not a sheidt?/// https://t.co/MmxLwZJEX0

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