Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Rosetta Hits Stone

Posted on September 30, 2016

A probe that was tracking a comet/ Was sent kamikaze to bomb it/ Rosetta crash-landed/ Eternally stranded/ But first dispatched images from it./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-37520420 A probe that was tracking a cometWas sent kamikaze to bomb it#Rosetta crash-landedEternally strandedBut first dispatched … Continue reading →

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No Pandering to Pandas

Posted on September 30, 2016

A panda who lived on a glove/ Got grief from the powers above/ Producers feared Sooty/ Might get a bit smutty/ If he and Soo found puppet love./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-37505309 A panda who lived on a gloveGot grief from the powers … Continue reading →

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Once Bitten, Twice Bitten

Posted on September 28, 2016

A very unfortunate man/ Got spider-bites twice on the can/ Both times on his cock/ Which though quite a shock/ Was clearly no flash in the pan./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251 A very unfortunate manGot spider-bites twice on the canBoth times on his … Continue reading →

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Scam, Cam, Thank You Sam

Posted on September 27, 2016

The ex-England gaffer Big Sam/ Fell foul of a secret spycam/ That filmed Allardyce / Dispensing advice/ On a third-party ownership scam./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37483344 The ex-England gaffer Big SamFell foul of a secret spycamThat filmed #Allardyce Dispensing adviceOn a third-party ownership … Continue reading →

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Keep Your Hair on, Don

Posted on September 27, 2016

The candidates Clinton and Trump/ Faced off one-to-one on the stump/ Debating her emails/ And him dissing females,/ Which put Donald into a grump./// http://www.vox.com/2016/9/27/13067822/debate-clinton-trump-sexism The candidates #Clinton & #TrumpFaced off one-to-one on the stumpDebating her emails& him dissing females,Which … Continue reading →

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Bum Rap

Posted on September 26, 2016

A new law in Melbourne, Australia/ Bans mooning and bare genitalia/ Forbidding the streak/ And flash of bum-cheek/ Or similar paraphernalia./// http://www.news.com.au/national/victoria/courts-law/mooning-ban-you-could-have-people-doing-it-everyday-with-no-sanction-victoria-attorney-general-says/news-story/51f364aa16962e9225e1e1b93bc0fa49 A new law in Melbourne, AustraliaBans mooning and bare genitaliaForbidding the streakAnd flash of bum-cheekOr similar paraphernalia. — … Continue reading →

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Owen, Goin’, Gone

Posted on September 24, 2016

The leadership challenger Owen/ Did not make a good enough showin’,/ Found not as absorbin’/ As Jeremy Corbyn/ Who saw his majority growin’./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37461219 The leadership challenger OwenDid not make a good enough showin',Found not as absorbin'As Jeremy CorbynWho saw … Continue reading →

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Love Rats

Posted on September 23, 2016

A chap won an Ig Nobel Prize/ For pants of a very small size/ He put on male rats/ To show using stats/ How fabrics harm sex life in guys./// https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/22/ig-nobel-prizes-trousers-for-rats-and A chap won an #IgNobel PrizeFor pants of a very small … Continue reading →

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Take a Hike

Posted on September 22, 2016

A hitch-hiker got a bit miffed/ When noone would give him a lift/ The NZ police/ For breaching the peace/ Have given the Frenchman short shrift.///  http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11714999 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/778911879431413760

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Pitt Split

Posted on September 20, 2016

The couple they called Brangelina/ Departed the public arena/ As Jolie told Pitt/ She wanted a split,/ No doubt after some misdemeanour./// http://www.tmz.com/2016/09/20/angelina-joile-files-for-divorce-brad-pitt/ The couple they called #Brangelina Departed the public arenaAs Jolie told PittShe wanted a split,No doubt after … Continue reading →

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