Author Archives: twitmericks

As man who severely mishandles/ Continuing Partygate scandals/ Would have cake and eat it,/ But may have to beat it -/ He blew his career with the candles./// https://t.co/5Xbw7orars

A robotic cleaner of floors/Who wearied of Travelodge chores/Escaped for a spell/And left the hotel/To go and explore the outdoors./// https://t.co/Pmz0yD8XF0

Two men in a post office fled/ When staff wouldn’t pay out, they said,/ The third fellow’s pension,/ The bone of contention/ The fact he appeared to be dead./// https://t.co/MLE8O5QkCi

Farewell to old Meat Loaf, a cat/ Who came out of hell like a bat,/ Who’d do anything/ For love, he would sing,/ But oh no, he wouldn’t do that./// https://t.co/9gakQd9U2n

A pooch who was accident-prone/ Got stuck on a mudflat alone,/ So fearing the worst/ They lured it with wurst/ By giving the doggie a drone./ https://t.co/wn34pq2KNS

As Johnson took blow after blow,/ His poll ratings dreadfully low,/ And cried “Heaven save us!”/ Up popped David Davis/ To say: “In the name of God, go!”/// https://t.co/tgwjgC9IgZ

A leader who won’t be for long/ Attempted to vary his song,/ Admitting he knew/ There might be a do,/ But nobody said it was wrong./// https://t.co/dQmNXTKvsm

A couple who found that their hush/ Was rudely disturbed by the flush/ Of neighbours at night/ Have won their court fight;/ It took 19 years, but why rush?/// https://t.co/XUAaDVa7Mv

As households face energy shocks,/ One firm’s thinking outside the box:/ The bright sparks at Eon/ Said keep warm for free on/ The house with these nice toasty socks./// https://t.co/NwT9jX1M5T

There was a Sun journo named Slack/ Who held a big news story back,/ A suitcase of wine/ Which may undermine/ His future career as a hack./// https://t.co/2v8ZBWI8fJ