Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Die-ing for a poo*

The wombat marsupial species,/ Contrives to make cubical faeces:/ The poo is compressed in/ The creature’s intestine,/ Then packed into stackable pieces./// *Thanks to Richard Heald for improved headline. The wombat marsupial species,Contrives to make cubical faeces:The poo is compressed … Continue reading

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Turning a deaf ear

The POTUS, he says, hasn’t heard a/ Recording depicting a murder/ And leaps to defend/ His bloodthirsty friend/ In terms that get ever absurder./// The POTUS, he says, hasn't heard aRecording depicting a murderAnd leaps to defendHis bloodthirsty friendIn terms … Continue reading

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Farts match

A Dutch player losing at darts/ Declared he’d been put off by farts;/ The Scot said “Who smelt it,/ We tend to find, dealt it -/ Try sniffing your own nether parts!”/// A Dutch player losing at dartsDeclared he'd been … Continue reading

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Weight to go

A weight which was called Le Grand K/ Was woefully wasting away;/ The world was as one/ On what would be done,/ And worked out a new way to weigh./// A weight which was called Le Grand KWas woefully wasting … Continue reading

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Leavers gonna leave

A two-parter for you today… 1) Dear PM, So long, it’s been real,/ But now on reflection I feel/ I cannot in conscience/ Support this old nonsense -/ Although I helped broker the deal./// 2) Dear kindly Prime Minister May,/ … Continue reading

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Cabinet pudding

The Cabinet meeting on Brexit/ Agreed, though the details still vex it,/ The deal done by May,/ But most pundits say/ Just wait till the Commons rejects it./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46215930 The Cabinet meeting on BrexitAgreed, though the details still vex it,The … Continue reading

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Writer-Man

A hero creator named Stan/ Helped give us the whole Marvel clan/ From Spidey and Thor/  To Fantastic Four -/ Let’s hear it for Comic Book Man./// A hero creator named StanHelped give us the whole Marvel clanFrom Spidey and … Continue reading

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Fair weather friend

Remembering those who were slain/ And promising never again/ Brings leaders together/ Whatever the weather -/ But not Donald Trump if it’s rain./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46168995 Remembering those who were slain And promising never againBrings leaders togetherWhatever the weather –But not Donald … Continue reading

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Raab sees Brexit

The Brexit Sec’s lately been struck/ That Britain needs shipments by truck/ That pass through Calais;/ The rest of us say:/ “I mean, what the actual fuck?”/// The Brexit Sec's lately been struckThat Britain needs shipments by truckThat pass through … Continue reading

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There was an old man…

An old man who finds it frustrating/ His years deter women from dating/ Seeks legal redress/ To make his age less,/ Improving his low Tinder rating./// An old man who finds it frustratingHis years deter women from datingSeeks legal redressTo … Continue reading

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