Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Rewarding failure

Poor Cameron can’t understand/ Why things didn’t go as he planned,/ But though it’s depressing,/ There is just one blessing – / The book’s earned him 800 grand!/// Poor Cameron can't understandWhy things didn't go as he planned,But though it's … Continue reading

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Hey Mr Tangerine Man

The President’s seeking to dump/ Some light bulbs that give the old chump/ An orangey hue/ With which they imbue/ No person on earth except Trump./// The President's seeking to dumpSome light bulbs that give the old chumpAn orangey hueWith … Continue reading

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Hard worker

A French firm was ordered to pay/ When one of its staff passed away,/ For Xavier X/ Who died during sex,/ Pegged out on the job, judges say./// A French firm was ordered to payWhen one of its staff passed … Continue reading

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Prorogue Mahone Again

A court found proroguing to stimey,/ As Johnson has done, rather grimy -/ It’s very unlawful/ And also quite awful,/ Misleading the number one limey./// A court found proroguing to stimey,As Johnson has done, rather grimy –It's very unlawfulAnd also … Continue reading

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Hawkward squad

The White House advisor John Bolton,/ Who liked it so hot it was molten,/ Fell out with the chief,/ A source of relief/ To countries he urged an assault on./// The White House advisor John Bolton,Who liked it so hot … Continue reading

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Ruddy Shocking

Poor gullible dupe Amber Rudd/ Is shocked to find Johnson a dudd/ Whose actions reveal/ His talk of a deal/ Is just a big mountain of crudd./// Poor gullible dupe Amber RuddIs shocked to find Johnson a duddWhose actions revealHis … Continue reading

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Swot is he on about?

Old Boris, who says ‘girly swot’,/ And similar jolly old rot,/ Who reeks of misogyny/ And can’t count his progeny,/ Continues to win diddly-squat./// Old Boris, who says 'girly swot',And similar jolly old rot,Who reeks of misogynyAnd can't count his … Continue reading

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See ya later, ex-dictator

Old Robert Mugabe of Zim/ Saw life there get ever more grim,/ One-time liberator/ Turned ageing dictator,/ Deposed once the problem was him./// Old Robert Mugabe of ZimSaw life there get ever more grim,One-time liberatorTurned ageing dictator,Deposed once the problem … Continue reading

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Go Fish

A DNA study reveals/ No sharks, sturgeon, lizards or seals/ Alive in Loch Ness -/ The monster, they guess,/ Is probably oversized eels./// A DNA study revealsNo sharks, sturgeon, lizards or seals Alive in Loch Ness –The monster, they guess,Is … Continue reading

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Lying Tory

As Boris’s plan went Pete Tong,/ Alone in the Westminster throng,/ House leader incumbent/ Rees-Mogg lay recumbent/ And dreamed of his mother’s chaise longue./// As Boris's plan went Pete Tong,Alone in the Westminster throng,House leader incumbentRees-Mogg lay recumbentAnd dreamed of his … Continue reading

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