Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Hard to swallow

A fisherman, 56, male,/ Was swallowed alive by a whale./ Leviathan spewed,/ Ejecting the dude,/ Who therefore can tell us his tale./// https://t.co/9JFNvcdKv5

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Jabs Tomorrow

Rich leaders who met in St Ives,/ Along with their husbands and wives,/ Declared: “Just as soon/ As we’re all immune,/ We’ll help other countries save lives”.///

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Camberwell Carrot

In Washington state they’ve agreed,/ To make vaccination succeed,/ The Cannabis Board/ Will give a reward:/ One joint of high-quality weed./// https://t.co/LBLkHafW0a

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Fashion Victims

Foot history experts peruse/ Old skeletons, searching for clues,/ And, knowing their onions,/ Say what gave folks bunions/ Was wearing those pointy-toed shoes./// https://t.co/04tRN1Bzdf

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Talks hit snag

“This deal, though we backed it at first”,/ Cried Johnson, “Must now be reversed”,/ And drifted still more/ Towards sausage war,/ With Europe left fearing the Wurst./// https://t.co/BPTfLZIwuE

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Net Loss

The cloud network company Fastly/Hosts internet services vastly,/So when it goes wrong,/Though not for that long,/The ripple effect is quite ghastly./// https://t.co/UcQ5U2GJ1t

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The 20,000-year itch

A sex-starved Siberian worm,/Whose drought, so researchers affirm ,/ Lasts thousands of years,/ Can still, it appears,/ Make up for lost action, long-term./// https://t.co/JFVLepMQbd

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The Day of the Squid

A rocket sent squid into space/ To see how they deal with the place,/ But though they are trapped,/ The squid could adapt,/ Supplanting our own human race./// https://t.co/KNSlGk2vjw

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Lord Lucre

When Johnson made Cruddas a lord,/ Commissioners’ doubts were ignored,/ But doubtless as planned,/ With 500 grand,/ He got to collect his reward./// https://t.co/j1XQs6gVUY

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What a bar steward

The pub chain supremo Tim MartinRegrets Europeans departin’,Not serving his beer,A drawback, I fear,Of Brexit, which he played a part in. https://t.co/43v84AHSfz

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