Author Archives: twitmericks

Sacked Principal Hope’s misdemeanoursWere showing the kids Birth of VenusAnd other great works,Thus triggering jerksOffended by David’s li’l penis.

The Government turned its attentionTo those with a million-pound pension,Instead of a hikeFor workers on strikeWhose money is too tight to mention.

A courtroom in Canada heardIt was, so the Justice averred,A God-given right,Although impolite,To flip pesky neighbours the bird.

With Gary off Match of the DaySuspended for having his say,His Tory-whipped bossesMust now count their losses,Their schedule in rank disarray.

“Don’t moan about salads and fruits:This government proudly salutesA veg we can cherish,As foreign foods perishLet Britain go back to its roots“.

Officials in Britain allege/ It’s weather, not Brexit, and pledge/ No shortage of food,/ But others conclude/ We’ve hit the thin end of the veg.///

Some Romans carved out of a blockA wooden thing shaped like a cock;Researchers concludeThe phallus they hewedWas not used for darning a sock.

When Google unveiled its new Bard,The debut was fatally marred:It flunked, in the promo –Rushed through amid FoMO –A question that wasn’t that hard.

Some woodpeckers built up a storeOf nuts in a house, on the floor, The cute, polyamorousTufted wall-hammerersPouring acorns galore.

Liz Truss blew a hole in our kittyThen cried to the press: “What a pity!”Although I was rightIt all went to shiteBecause of those reds in the City”.