Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Final Reckoning

To mark the end of Russia 29018, here are three World Cup Final limericks for you: “It’s all gone without any hitch”,/ Declared Vlad Vladimirovich,/ But then Pussy Riot/ Disrupted the quiet/ Invading the Cup Final pitch./// *** Among the … Continue reading

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William the Plonkerer

A tapestry telling through pix/ What happened in 1066/ Shows men and their mounts,/ An Oxford don counts,/ With 93 needlework pricks./// A tapestry telling through pixWhat happened in 1066Shows men and their mounts,An Oxford don counts,With 93 needlework pricks.https://t.co/3GVjmmPvzzContinue reading

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Flying Visit

There is a big empty balloon/ That looks like a total buffoon;/ With bright yellow hair,/ Chock full of hot air,/ And so is his airborne lampoon./// https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-politics-44820849/trump-baby-blimp-launched-in-london There is a big empty balloonThat looks like a total buffoon;With bright … Continue reading

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Frozen Meal

Researchers who looked in the tummy/ Of Ötzi the old Alpine mummy/ Found goat fat inside/ Which one of them tried/ And found unbelievably crummy./// Researchers who looked in the tummyOf Ötzi the old Alpine mummyFound goat fat insideWhich one … Continue reading

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Natural Ass

The POTUS gave Merkel some sass/ Relating to imports of gas;/ In view of discussions/ Trump’s had with the Russians,/ He’s talking again from his ass./// The POTUS gave Merkel some sassRelating to imports of gas;In view of discussionsTrump's had … Continue reading

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The Turd Man

Big blundering Boris has quit,/ A sign of a deepening split,/ But May, undeterred,/ Will polish the turd,/ As Britain sinks deeper in shit./// Big blundering Boris has quit,A sign of a deepening split,But May, undeterred,Will polish the turd,As Britain … Continue reading

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DEXEU’s Midnight Runner*

The DEXEU minister Davis/ Has quit, and the reason he gavis/ That May’s plan for Brexit/ Effectively wrexit -/ Just what the thing many folks cravis.///   *Headline borrowed from Politico – can’t go wrong with an 80s band reference. … Continue reading

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Chock full

A possum adored chocolate spread,/ A dangerous habit which led/ The foolhardy fella/ Pursuing nutella/ To get the jar stuck on his head./// **This limerick led me to wonder whether chocolate should be treated as two or three syllables. So … Continue reading

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Gulls’ Night Out

In Devon and Somerset news,/ Some seagulls are hitting the booze,/ But rescuers think/ A gull high on drink/ Recovers the minute it spews./// In Devon and Somerset news,Some seagulls are hitting the booze,But rescuers thinkA gull high on drinkRecovers … Continue reading

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Chequered Careers

Holed up in the county of Buckingham/ They tackled disputes without duckingham,/ And broadly agreed/ On how to proceed,/ But as for our prospects, they’re fatally damaging them./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-44747444 Holed up in the county of BuckinghamThey tackled disputes without duckingham,And … Continue reading

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