Monthly Archives: October 2019

Ashes to Hashish

Posted on October 30, 2019 by twitmericks

A teenager wanted to bake/ Her friends a nice cannabis cake;/ Alas it was fed/ To mourners instead,/ Who had a high time at the wake./// A teenager wanted to bakeHer friends a nice cannabis cake;Alas it was fedTo mourners … Continue reading →

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Nixed by Knicker-nicker

Posted on October 29, 2019 by twitmericks

Officials in Kurdistan say/ A slip gave Baghdadi away,/ Caught out by a blunder where/ Spies stole his underwear,/ Providing some groin DNA./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-50218637 on twitter

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Do or Die Dies a Death

Posted on October 28, 2019 by twitmericks

The British Prime minister guy/ Said no-ifs-no-buts, do-or-die,/ No trace of a doubt,/ October we’re out -/ Another Johnsonian lie./// https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-deal-extension-boris-johnson-news-eu-2020-flextension-latest-a9173941.html on twitter

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Tired gun

Posted on October 27, 2019 by twitmericks

Five hitmen expressed themselves willing/ For something they balked at fulfilling/ It got quite protracted/ As each subcontracted/ But none of the five made a killing./// Hitman hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who tells … Continue reading →

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Birds of Pay

Posted on October 26, 2019 by twitmericks

Some steppe eagles roaming at will,/ Cross-border, for prey they can kill,/ Gave scientists tracking/ Them rather a whacking/ Great SMS data charge bill./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-50180781?SThisFB&fbclid=IwAR2By8TN19Y2g_u1pQYzQsavixT3UYg2EEUjELnGurpWnk7K8PeMKIXnpHo Link to Twitter

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Reject Coins

Posted on October 26, 2019 by twitmericks

The government’s had to admit/ Its Brexit-themed 50p bit/ Will have to be junked,/ Now rendered defunct/ Since Boris’s plan went to shit./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/oct/25/production-of-brexit-50p-coin-paused-amid-departure-uncertainty The government's had to admitIts Brexit-themed 50p bitWill have to be junked,Now rendered defunctSince Boris's plan … Continue reading →

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Rat Race Stress Buster

Posted on October 24, 2019 by twitmericks

Researchers found levels of stress/ In rats became markedly less/ When driving small cars/ Constructed from jars,/ The secret of rat race success./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50167812 Researchers found levels of stress In rats became markedly lessWhen driving small carsConstructed from jars,The secret … Continue reading →

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Quantum of Bollocks

Posted on October 23, 2019 by twitmericks

The firm IBM is disputing/ A claim made for Google’s computing/ That quantum supremacy’s/ Been reached while its nemeses/ Are mostly still busy rebooting./// https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/oct/23/google-claims-it-has-achieved-quantum-supremacy-but-ibm-disagrees The firm IBM is disputingA claim made for Google's computingThat quantum supremacy'sBeen reached while its … Continue reading →

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Pledge Ditched

Posted on October 22, 2019 by twitmericks

Despite Johnson’s desperate pitch/ His programme encountered a glitch,/ A setback that caused/ The bill to be paused,/ But nobody died in a ditch./// tweet

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Pneumatic Trill

Posted on October 22, 2019 by twitmericks

The white bellbird’s song is so shrill,/ You’ll hear, when it opens its bill,/ The quite irrepressible/ 125-decibel/ Sound of a pneumatic drill./// https://www.theguardian.com/environment/video/2019/oct/21/white-bellbird-listen-to-the-worlds-loudest-bird-call-video The white bellbird's song is so shrill,You'll hear, when it opens its bill,The quite irrepressible125-decibelSound of … Continue reading →

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