Monthly Archives: August 2018

Spaghetti Injunction*

A judge in the Netherlands said/ A colander worn on the head/ To worship spaghetti/ Is silly and petty -/ The Lord’s not in pasta, but bread!/// *headline nicked from the Guardian As I’m sure you’ve all clocked, the last … Continue reading

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Last Respects

Farewell Queen of Soul, RIP/ A true R&B VIP,/ So let’s give Aretha,/ Great music bequeather, Our R-E-S-P-E-C-T./// I am grateful to my nearest and dearest for the helpful advice that ‘Ibiza’ was not really a relevant reference despite being … Continue reading

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Stream of Complaints

Some people in Paris are dissing/ Urinals erected for pissing/ For while any beau/ Can geau with the fleau,/ For belles, something similar’s missing./// Some people in Paris are dissingUrinals erected for pissingFor while any beauCan geau with the fleau,For … Continue reading

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Norwegian Blue Language

A parrot that’s able to speak/ Three languages opened its beak/ And cursed a fire crew/ In language most blue/ And more Anglo-Saxon than Greek./// A parrot that's able to speakThree languages opened its beakAnd cursed a fire crewIn language … Continue reading

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Pain in Spain

A Brit tourist wrote to complain/ Her Benidorm break was a pain/ Because the hotel/ Was made living hell/ By too many people from Spain./// A Brit tourist wrote to complainHer Benidorm break was a painBecause the hotelWas made living … Continue reading

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Rampant rodent

A juvenile squirrel wrongdoer/ Was captured by cops in Karlsruhe/ Who rescued a man/ In terror who ran/ Away from his furry pursuer./// A juvenile squirrel wrongdoerWas captured by cops in KarlsruheWho rescued a manIn terror who ranAway from his … Continue reading

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Airport Abuzz

The luggage for one man’s vacation/ Caused problems for air transportation/ When scan operators/ Picked up his vibrators,/ Resulting in mass perturbation./// The luggage for one man's vacationCaused problems for air transportationWhen scan operatorsPicked up his vibrators,Resulting in mass perturbation.https://t.co/LIcTEwDMYMContinue reading

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Cheesy Crime

A thief who was sentenced to fester/ Made one mistake, said his arrester:/ What gave him away/ Was some DNA/ He left on a lump of red Leicester./// A thief who was sentenced to festerMade one mistake, said his arrester:What … Continue reading

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Bojo’s Fashion Tips

Though dog-whistle Boris now rails/ Against public wearing of veils/ By some Muslim women,/ From what we’ve seen him in,/ I’d focus on fashion for males./// Though dog-whistle Boris now rails Against public wearing of veilsBy some Muslim women,From what … Continue reading

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Right to Bear Alms

Oh pity the poor NRA-ers,/ Those well-armed political players/ Who love all things gunny/ Are clean out of money/ So shoot them a few #ThoughtsAndPrayers./// Oh pity the poor NRA-ers,Those well-armed political playersWho love all things gunnyAre clean out of … Continue reading

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