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Twitter
- A fisherman, 56, male, Was swallowed alive by a whale. Leviathan spewed, Ejecting the dude, Who therefore can tell… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 17 hours ago
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- In Washington state they've agreed, To make vaccination succeed, The Cannabis Board Will give a reward: One joint o… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 days ago
- Foot history experts peruse Old skeletons, searching for clues, And, knowing their onions, Say what gave folks buni… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 3 days ago
- "This deal, though we backed it at first", Cried Johnson, "Must now be reversed", And drifted still more Towards s… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 5 days ago
Meta
Monthly Archives: August 2018
The Brexit Bop
The UK might just have a chance/ Of backing from countries like France/ To have and eat cake/ If they undertake/ To not let Theresa May dance./// https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/the-maybot-strikes-twice-theresa-may-busts-out-her-awkward-dance-moves-again-on-kenya-trip-a3924196.html The UK might just have a chanceOf backing from countries like FranceTo … Continue reading
Portaloo Sunset
The government’s got a great ruse/ For post-Brexit motorway queues;/ In case of no deal,/ When shit becomes real,/ They’ll put up some portable loos./// The government's got a great ruseFor post-Brexit motorway queues;In case of no deal,When shit becomes … Continue reading
Rubber Dolphin
Frottage by a horny cetacean/ Is causing French bathers vexation;/ He’s said to molest/ Those swimming near Brest/ For carnal self-gratification./// Frottage by a horny cetaceanIs causing French bathers vexation;He's said to molestThose swimming near BrestFor carnal self-gratification.#Dolphins(Thanks @johnthejack)https://t.co/PuDOioqOFB — … Continue reading
Not for much longa?
Let’s all lend some money to Wonga,/ To make it financially stronga;/ They’re in quite a state,/ So name your own rate,/ But give ’em three weeks and no longa./// Let's all lend some money to Wonga,To make it financially … Continue reading
Jacob’s Madder
The Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg,/ A would-be right-wing demagogue,/ Declares predilections/ For border inspections/ That leave most observers agog./// The Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg,A would-be right-wing demagogue,Declares predilectionsFor border inspectionsThat leave most observers agog.#JacobReesMogg#Brexit#BrexitMadness#Irelandhttps://t.co/ORGoQni9pJ — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) August 26, 2018
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Tagged brexit, ireland, irish border, jacob rees-mogg, tories
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Pullout Threatens Sperm
A hard Brexit impact report/ On stuff we routinely import/ Includes Danish sperm/ Which studies confirm/ Withdrawal may cause to fall short./// A hard Brexit impact reportOn stuff we routinely importIncludes Danish spermWhich studies confirmWithdrawal may cause to fall short.#brexit … Continue reading
Red or Dead
In fundraising Labour’s ahead,/ Securing a whole heap of bread/ From those who are living,/ While most donors giving/ Conservatives money are dead./// RED OR DEAD In fundraising Labour's ahead,Securing a whole heap of breadFrom those who are living,While most … Continue reading
Briefs in a Twist
A man representing as brief/ A future Commander-in-chief/ Broke rules on elections,/ But on whose directions?/ The candidate’s – Hail to the Thief!/// A man representing as brief A future Commander-in-chief Broke rules on elections,But on whose directions?The candidate's – … Continue reading
Brexiteer’s Bumpy Landing
A Tory jumped out of a plane/ And pulled at the toggle in vain -/ Though Brexiteer Steve/ Implored it to leave/ His parachute chose to remain./// Look, he survived, OK? I’m not that callous! A Tory jumped out of … Continue reading
Jail Fail
A privately-run UK jail/ Was deemed a complete epic fail,/ The prison in Birmingham/ It seems is confirming ’em/ Unsuitable assets for sale./// Slightly tweaked the third and fourth lines from the Twitter version to aid clarity. But perhaps the … Continue reading
