Monthly Archives: December 2019

Cheesed Off

A chef sued the Michelin guide,/ Alleging inspectors had lied/ And said he used cheddar/ In souffles insteddar/ Reblochon, which wounded his pride./// A chef sued the Michelin guide,Alleging inspectors had liedAnd said he used cheddarIn souffles insteddarReblochon, which wounded … Continue reading

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Blond Ambition: 2019 In Review

Welcome to the Twitmericks 2019 limerick review of the year – when Britain edged towards Brexit and Trump towards impeachment. I’ve picked some highlights divided  into three sections – the last one is for random weird shit, but there’s some … Continue reading

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Fox Populi

A brief for whom Brexit’s a no-no Went out in his wife’s green kimono And battered a fox That threatened his flocks, Insisting he acted pro bono. #FoxGate #JolyonMaugham #Jolyon @JolyonMaugham https://t.co/lAvjSvqDiX

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Carrie on Caribbean

There was an old man with a cheek Who said “in this winter so bleak, I know that we must Repay people’s trust – But right now I’m off to Mustique”. #Mustique #BorisJohnson #Johnson https://t.co/P4UxMZBlW8

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Don Trump-xote

There is an old Don, orange-skinned,/ Whose tenure some seek to rescind,/ And so to distract/ From being attacked,/ He’s taken to tilting at wind./// There is an old Don, orange-skinned,Whose tenure some seek to rescind,And so to distractFrom being … Continue reading

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Blooming Pong

A plant from a tropical isle Is blessed with an odour most vile, Like fish that’s not fresh And putrefied flesh – Best left to the olfactophile. https://t.co/b9M57aAGmY

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Comic Economics

We learn from U.S. memoranda/ That POTUS has managed to land a/ Completely unreal/ And marvellous deal/ On trade with the state of Wakanda./// We learn from U.S. memorandaThat POTUS has managed to land aCompletely unrealAnd marvellous dealOn trade with … Continue reading

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Programme Error

“My party, as Britain expexit, Will press on with full-blooded Brexit, And then disburse wealth On things such as health (Unless the aforementioned wrexit).” https://t.co/GUSMfxewJG

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Peer-to-peer Network

There was an old Tory named Zac/ Whom voters had given the sack;/ “Dear boy, have no fear,/ I’ll make you a peer!”/ Said Boris, and brought him straight back./// There was an old Tory named ZacWhom voters had given … Continue reading

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Horn of plenty

Some worms that washed up on the shore near/ A place called Drakes Beach, California/ Of Urechis genus/ Resemble a penis/ And eaten, it’s said, make you hornier./// Some worms that washed up on the shore nearA place called Drakes … Continue reading

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