Monthly Archives: April 2021

Arise, Sir Lovehoney

“This royal award one bestows/ For unbridled enterprise goes/ To (checks notes) Lovehoney,/ A firm that makes money/ As long as our stimulus grows.”/ https://t.co/H9cZMcvswI

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Car in a Scrape

To butter a car isn’t funny,/ Say cops – cleaning up will cost money;/ Among things they dread are/ This crazed superspreader/ Returning, but next time with honey.///

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Arl Be Damned

A DUP leader named Foster/ Has quit after pals double-croster,/ The Irish Sea border,/ Which led to disorder,/ Among recent issues that coster.///

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The Hair to Blair

The former PM, Tony Blair,/ Was feeling a little bit spare/ And lacking a role,/ But now his new goal/ Appears to be growing his hair.///

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Vowel evacuation

A Standard Life rebranding wheeze/ Is bothering vowel devotees,/ Who feel Abrdn*/ Can only have bn/ Dreamed up after dropping some Es./// *”Pronounced ‘Aberdeen’” https://t.co/NZlK255Qoe

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Spread the Love/Hate

Choose the limerick that best fits your view on this controversial topic: 1) As lockdown has brought to a head/ A shortage of yeast extract spread,/ Poor lovers of marmite/ In search of a jar might/ Have nothing to put … Continue reading

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Cummings has a Go

The man who was Johnson’s right hand/Says touting for 58 grand/In party donations/To fund renovations/Was dodgy and probably banned./// https://t.co/QDVyU8RQvy

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Moral Vacuum

For Johnson to thus undertake/ To fix the tax laws for the sake/ Of dust buster Dyson/ Was flagrant enticin’ -/ You don’t give a sucker a break./// https://t.co/mklVtQsagL

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Pub Hubbub

In Somerset canvassing, Keir/ Nipped into the pub for a beer./ The landlord, a sceptic,/ Went quite apoplectic/ And yelled: “You’re not welcome in here!”/// https://t.co/AuhN5rkE31

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Professional Foul

The governing body UEFA/ Says breakaway plotters will PEFA/ Their superleague plans,/ Which none of their fans,/ It seems, has a good word to SEFA./// https://t.co/Q0DEWeubRc

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