Monthly Archives: November 2018

Man accidentally shoots himself in meat department

Posted on November 30, 2018 by twitmericks

In Wal-Mart, a man packing heat/ Was shopping for something to eat;/ The gun, to his shock/ Went off at half-cock/ And gave him reductions on meat./// In Wal-Mart, a man packing heatWas shopping for something to eat;The gun, to … Continue reading →

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Grandmaster Flash

Posted on November 29, 2018 by twitmericks

For weeks two chess champions vied/ But all of their games finished tied/ Until they played faster/ When Norway’s grandmaster/ Turned out to have time on his side./// For weeks two chess champions viedBut all of their games finished tiedUntil … Continue reading →

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Size of a cow

Posted on November 28, 2018 by twitmericks

An ox of gargantuan size/ Escaped an untimely demise;/ While cattle much shorter/ Were sent to the slaughter,/ Big Knickers has dodged the cow pies./// An ox of gargantuan sizeEscaped an untimely demise;While cattle much shorterWere sent to the slaughter,Big … Continue reading →

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Shit a brick

Posted on November 28, 2018 by twitmericks

Six gutsy scatologists tested/ How lego performs when ingested/ By swallowing pieces/ Then checking their faeces -/ Don’t try this at home, they suggested./// Six gutsy scatologists testedHow lego performs when ingestedBy swallowing piecesThen checking their faeces –Don't try this … Continue reading →

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Poll of polls

Posted on November 25, 2018 by twitmericks

Swiss voters have failed to uphold/ A measure far-reaching and bold/ To let cow horns grow;/ Their views we don’t know,/ Although they’re the ones being polled*./// Swiss voters have failed to upholdA measure far-reaching and boldTo let cow horns … Continue reading →

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Fowl move

Posted on November 23, 2018 by twitmericks

The man at America’s head/ This year for Thanksgiving Day said:/ ‘Although it sounds quirky,/ Let’s move on from Turkey – / I’m pardoning Saudi instead’. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/nov/20/trump-pardons-thanksgiving-turkeys The man at America's headThis year for Thanksgiving Day said:'Although it sounds quirky,Forget … Continue reading →

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Dubai that?

Posted on November 22, 2018 by twitmericks

A postgrad got nicked in Dubai,/ Where judicial norms don’t apply;/ Though rights groups protest,/ They said he confessed/ And jailed him for life as a spy.//// A postgrad got nicked in Dubai,Where judicial norms don't apply;Though rights groups protest,They … Continue reading →

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For a few dollars less…

Posted on November 22, 2018 by twitmericks

I’ll stand by the Saudis, said Trump,/ Their critics can go take a jump -/ Who cares who they’re slaying/ So long as we’re paying/ A few dollars less at the pump./// I'll stand by the Saudis, said Trump,Their critics … Continue reading →

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On the rocks

Posted on November 21, 2018 by twitmericks

Some curlers got kicked off the rink/ For taking an excess of drink/ For whisky on ice/ Is not very nice,/ Or so many connoisseurs think./// Some curlers got kicked off the rinkFor taking an excess of drinkFor whisky on … Continue reading →

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Kaputsch

Posted on November 20, 2018 by twitmericks

Though May has received the odd letter/ From Tory MPs out to getter,/ Their coup fizzled out,/ Increasing the doubt/ The plotters could run this show better./// https://www.yahoo.com/news/jacob-rees-mogg-admits-brexiteer-125431446.html Though May has received the odd letterFrom Tory MPs out to getter,Their … Continue reading →

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