Monthly Archives: April 2014

RIP Bob Hoskins

Posted on April 30, 2014 by

Old Bob was an audience-pleaser/In Mermaids and Hook, Mona Lisa,/On film and TV/We knew him to be/A regular diamond geezer. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-27224995 Old Bob was an audience-pleaser In Mermaids and Hook, Mona Lisa, On film and TV We knew him to be A regular diamond … Continue reading →

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Mini Max

Posted on April 28, 2014 by

Max Clifford, whose penis is short/ (Or so many sources report)/ Won’t long be at large -/ A sex assault charge/ The one thing that stood up in court. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27192600 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/460781934072045568

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Judicial Murder

Posted on April 28, 2014 by

A court on the banks of the Nile/ Put 600 people on trial./ ‘Now off with his head’/ The hanging judge said/ In Alice in Wonderland style. ///http://english.ahram.org.eg/News/99979.aspx https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/460716079460139008

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Sterling Racist

Posted on April 27, 2014 by

There was an old man from LA/Who said to his girlfriend one day/Don’t hang out with blacks./Obama attacks – /Now over to you, NBA. ///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/27/david-sterling-clippers-racist-recording-obama-backlash There was an old man from LA Who said to his girlfriend one day Don't hang out … Continue reading →

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Pope Idols

Posted on April 27, 2014 by

A couple of Popes became saints/ Who cured folks of fatal complaints/ Providing empirical/ Proof of a miracle/ Wasn’t among the constraints. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-27140646 A couple of Popes became saints Who cured folks of fatal complaints Providing empirical Proof of a miracle Wasn't among the … Continue reading →

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A Desparate Man

Posted on April 27, 2014 by

An Aussie who’d been on the booze/ Mistook a plane’s cockpit for loos/ He paid for his error -/ Suspected of terror/ And plastered all over the news. ///http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2613720/Drunk-Australian-passenger-arrested-sparking-hijack-scare-Virgin-plane-Bali-claims-thought-cockpit-door-toilet.html An Aussie who'd been on the booze Mistook a plane's cockpit for … Continue reading →

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Xenophobe in Racism Shock

Posted on April 26, 2014 by

A UKIP supporter in Merton/ Of whom party bosses seemed certain/ In fact was a racist/ And so on that basis/ His prospects have gone for a Burton. ///http://www.wimbledonguardian.co.uk/news/11171402.Merton_election_candidate_and_Ukip_posterboy_suspended_after_racist_tweets_emerge/ A UKIP supporter in Merton Of whom party bosses were certain In fact … Continue reading →

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Poor Bankers

Posted on April 25, 2014 by

The bankers who run RBS/ Are suffering awful distress./ Those Treasury moaners/ Have banjaxed their bonus/ And forced them to settle for less. ///http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/apr/25/royal-bank-of-scotland-bonus-plan-blocked-by-government The bankers who run RBS Are suffering awful distress. Those Treasury moaners Have banjaxed their bonus And forced them to … Continue reading →

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Parental Guidance

Posted on April 24, 2014 by

Oh dear Muslim mummies and daddies/ Do not let your kids be jihadis/ In Syria’s war,/ Our leaders implore,/ They may get mixed up with the baddies. ///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/syria-crisis-uk-police-urge-muslim-women-to-report-relatives-planning-to-join-war-9281100.html Oh dear Muslim mummies and daddies Do not let your kids be jihadis In … Continue reading →

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I AM A WEAKISH SPELLER

Posted on April 23, 2014 by

To mark Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, here is the author’s cut (i.e. longer) of my chapter on him in There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar. There was an old fellow named Will Who wrote with rare humour and skill. In … Continue reading →

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