Monthly Archives: April 2016

Beyond Our Ken

With Naz who offended suspended/ The party intended things ended/ But Labour top brass/ Who hoped it’d pass/ Had not apprehended what Ken did./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-36160135 With Naz who offended suspendedThe party intended things endedBut Labour top brassWho hoped it'd passHad … Continue reading

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Billionaire Shoplifters

A couple of #BHS bosses,/ In charge of gargantuan losses,/ Left pensioners skint/ While making a mint,/ And not, it would seem, giving tosses./// http://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/apr/25/bhs-owner-retail-acquisitions-25m-administration A couple of #BHS bosses,In charge of gargantuan losses,Left pensioners skintWhile making a mint,And not, … Continue reading

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Bard Language

There was an old fellow named Will/ Who wrote with rare humour and skill/ His sonnets and plays/ Left many a phrase/ In popular idiom still./// There was an old fellow named WillWho wrote with rare humour and skillHis sonnets … Continue reading

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Pouring Reign

There is an old woman named Liz/ Who works in the royalty biz/ At 90 today/ I reckon she may/ Consume a few glasses of fizz./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36093306 There is an old woman named LizWho works in the royalty bizAt 90 … Continue reading

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Knob Robbers

The Arcachon mayor has a trick For foiling some vandals who nick A statue’s male part – A state of the art Prosthetic detachable dick. http://www.thelocal.fr/20160419/french-town-gives-castrated-statue-prosthetic-penis The Arcachon mayor has a trickFor foiling some vandals who nickA statue's male part … Continue reading

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Mighty Victoria

Farewell to a comic so good/ She wrote as we all wish we could/ 𝘉𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺, 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺/ 𝘔𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘧 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘦/ We’ll miss you #VictoriaWood.  ///http://metro.co.uk/2016/04/20/victoria-wood-dies-is-the-ballad-of-barry-and-freda-the-comedians-career-highlight-5829944/ A heartfelt obit this, for a hilarious perfomer and truly great comic lyricist. The … Continue reading

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Stripping or Whipping?

A John who’s a Brit politician/ Said after a fact-finding mission/ I do find lap-dancing/ Extremely entrancing/ But me, I’m more into submission./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/apr/19/john-whittingdale-mps-free-dinner-lap-dancing-club-licensing-inquiry A John who's a Brit politicianSaid after a fact-finding missionI do find lap-dancingExtremely entrancingBut me, I'm … Continue reading

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War on Terrier

An actress admits she told porkies/ Illegally smuggling Yorkies./ Expressing regrets/ For hiding her pets/ Ms Heard was allowed to go walkies./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36052243 An actress admits she told porkiesIllegally smuggling Yorkies.Expressing regretsFor hiding her petsMs Heard was allowed to go … Continue reading

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Less of the Sauce Please

The food manufacturer Mars/ Once said of its chocolate bars/ A Mars bar a day/ Helps you work rest and play/ (It’s not so for pasta sauce jars)./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36051333 The food manufacturer MarsOnce said of its chocolate barsA Mars bar … Continue reading

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Dogs Turn Up Noses at Drugs

In Manchester, dogs trained to sniff/ For contraband cocaine and spliff/ Were able to find/ Some old bacon rind/ And camembert starting to whiff./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36041316 In Manchester, dogs trained to sniffFor contraband cocaine and spliffWere able to findAn old bacon rindAnd … Continue reading

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