Monthly Archives: June 2021

Bye-bye Election

The voters of Chesham in Bucks/ Decided this government sucks/ And voted Lib Dem,/ The Tories, to them,/ Appearing to give zero fucks./// https://t.co/inBWxFkV41

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Give a dog a boner

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,/ But this one got bored chasing sticks/ And found a new toy/ So perfect, oh boy!/ He grinned like a dog with two dicks./// https://t.co/RoxXWe7FGa

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Hancock Sucks

Dom Cummings, that vengeful old chap,/ Showed messages sent on WhatsApp/ By Johnson, no less,/ That plainly express/ The view that Matt Hancock is crap./// https://t.co/6BoKQXDZax

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Cola Shoulder

Ronaldo made clear what he thinks/ Of sponsors with sugary drinks,/ Suggesting we oughta/ Just drink bottled water/ And not Coca-cola, which stinks./// https://t.co/Oz22awlKPw

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Hard to swallow

A fisherman, 56, male,/ Was swallowed alive by a whale./ Leviathan spewed,/ Ejecting the dude,/ Who therefore can tell us his tale./// https://t.co/9JFNvcdKv5

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Jabs Tomorrow

Rich leaders who met in St Ives,/ Along with their husbands and wives,/ Declared: “Just as soon/ As we’re all immune,/ We’ll help other countries save lives”.///

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Camberwell Carrot

In Washington state they’ve agreed,/ To make vaccination succeed,/ The Cannabis Board/ Will give a reward:/ One joint of high-quality weed./// https://t.co/LBLkHafW0a

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Fashion Victims

Foot history experts peruse/ Old skeletons, searching for clues,/ And, knowing their onions,/ Say what gave folks bunions/ Was wearing those pointy-toed shoes./// https://t.co/04tRN1Bzdf

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Talks hit snag

“This deal, though we backed it at first”,/ Cried Johnson, “Must now be reversed”,/ And drifted still more/ Towards sausage war,/ With Europe left fearing the Wurst./// https://t.co/BPTfLZIwuE

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Net Loss

The cloud network company Fastly/Hosts internet services vastly,/So when it goes wrong,/Though not for that long,/The ripple effect is quite ghastly./// https://t.co/UcQ5U2GJ1t

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