Category Archives: Uncategorized

Up for Dispoot

There is an old fogy named Poots,/ Whose view that our planet has roots/ Six thousand years old,/ Creationists hold,/ Though evidence plainly refutes./// https://t.co/lV8uVLvcEz

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Bad Breath

A trick when fresh air becomes sparse is/ To use the hole meant for catharsis/ Instead to respire,/ For when things get dire,/ Some mammals breathe in through their arses./// https://t.co/CaiNHlVnzT NB: Catharsis = evacuation of the bowels.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Unhappy Ending

Police in a Hong Kong vice crackdown/ Found one client easy to track down/ As he was their chief,/ Just seeking relief/ From masseuses rubbing his back down./// https://t.co/DqLdYzpgJn

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

10 years of Limericks

Ten years back, one Tuesday in May/ On National Limerick Day/ I tweeted a rhyme/ To help pass the time,/ But then I got carried away./// Happy #NationalLimerickDay

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

WMT WTF?

An email from West Midlands Trains/ Told staff in reward for their pains/ A bonus was due,/ But those clicking through/ Were told: “It’s a scam – use your brains!”/// https://t.co/AgDLdXGe5j

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Vein Effort

A castle best known as the site/ Where Dracula’s vampires, bynight,/ Took fresh blood donations,/ Now gives vaccinations,/ And hopes that the tourists will bite./// https://t.co/PA6xpcZE7G

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Taking the Michael

A prince titled Michael of Kent/ Was shown in a sting to be bent;/ He offered a route in,/ For money, to Putin./ Perhaps he’s behind with the rent./ https://t.co/JC2AlEZALP

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Blame Game

As polling defeat became plainer/ For number one Labour campaigner/ And leader Sir Keir,/ ‘The buck will stop here’/ Gave way to ‘sack Angela Rayner’.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sweet Tweets

Dear tweeters, please take this advice,/ And try to say things that are nice:/ Before posting bitter/ And rude things on Twitter/ (Yes, even to assholes), think twice./// https://t.co/2TIrh3Ces4

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Where’s the Loligo*

A town that successfully bid/ For hundreds of thousands of quid/ In Covid relief/ Quite beggared belief/ And splurged on a giant pink squid./// https://t.co/Qyjr8xg6Nm *The Japanese flying squid is in fact Todarodes pacificus. Loligo is a genus including the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment