Category Archives: Uncategorized

A house divided

There is a right-winger named Paul/ Whose siblings don’t rate him at all/ Six brothers and sisters/ Have joined the resisters/ To work for the Congressman’s fall./// (I tweaked the second line from the tweeted version, on reflection, but either … Continue reading

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Dis-Mayed

Theresa said countries like France/ Have not given Britain a chance:/ By dumping on Chequers/ Those Eurocrat wreckers/ Have led her a merry old dance!/// Theresa said countries like FranceHave not given Britain a chance:By dumping on Chequers Those Eurocrat … Continue reading

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Pottted lobster

A lobster place over in Maine/ Maintains it’s humane when they’re slain/ To dope each crustacean/ With weed-based sedation,/ Thus dulling its brain to the pain./// A lobster place over in MaineMaintains it's humane when they're slainTo dope each crustaceanWith … Continue reading

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Steaming Cleaner

Some Indian nationalists who/ Extol what cow products can do/ Make soap from the faeces/ Of this sacred species,/ Thus putting the poo in shampoo./// Some Indian nationalists whoExtol what cow products can doMake soap from the faecesOf this sacred … Continue reading

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Jumbo-sized blunder

An airline whose spelling’s horrific/ Messed up, or to be more specific/ Contrived to forget a/ Significant letter/ Which means there’s no effin’ Pacific!/// An airline whose spelling's horrificMessed up, or to be more specificContrived to forget aSignificant letterWhich means … Continue reading

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Sesame-sex relationship?

The Sesame Workshop contends,/ Wherever the evidence tends,/ Though Saltzman would write ’em/ As kind of an item,/ That Ernie and Bert are just friends./// The Sesame Workshop contends,However the evidence tends,Though Saltzman would write 'emAs kind of an item,That … Continue reading

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Toad’s tool

A porn star once dear to Trump’s heart/ Described his most intimate part/ As less than humungous/ And shaped like a fungus,/ Like Toad out of Mario Kart./// A porn star once dear to Trump's heartDescribed his most intimate partAs … Continue reading

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Vince fails to pull it off

The speech said ‘erotic’ and ‘spasm’,/ But Vince in his enthusiasm/ Got nervous and slipped,/ And mangling the script,/ Cocked up his linguistic orgasm./// The speech said 'erotic' and 'spasm',But Vince in his enthusiasmGot nervous and slipped,And mangling the script,Cocked … Continue reading

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Sex on fire

In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading

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Research my arse!

There was an old man from Japan/ Who gave his own colon a scan;/ He put on some lube,/ Inserted a tube/ And shouted: ‘The film’s in the can!‘/// There was an old man from JapanWho gave his own colon … Continue reading

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