Monthly Archives: August 2019

Yellowhammer horror

The government’s great No Deal wheeze,/ As Op Yellowhammer foresees,/ Means shortages, riots/ And limited diets -/ A little bit of bread and no cheese./// The government's great No Deal wheeze,As Op Yellowhammer foresees,Means shortages, riotsAnd limited diets –A little … Continue reading

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Compulsive behaviour

A driver from Malaga, Spain/ Was kidnapped, he tried to explain,/ And forced on the lash,/ To spend all his cash/ On prostitutes, booze and cocaine./// A driver from Malaga, SpainWas kidnapped, he tried to explain,And forced on the lash,To … Continue reading

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Statue of limitations

“Oh give me your tired, your poor,/ The wretched of your teeming shore,/ Your great huddled masses,/ And we’ll kick their asses,/ And show ’em”, Trump’s aide said, “the door”./// "Oh give me your tired, your poor,The wretched of your … Continue reading

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Where there’s muck…

The man behind Johnson’s campaign/ Hates subsidies, this he makes plain,/ Yet Cummings has trousered/ A few hundred thousand/ From Brussels, despite his disdain./// The man behind Johnson's campaignHates subsidies, this he makes plain, Yet Cummings has trouseredA few hundred … Continue reading

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Shit suggestion

The head of Brazil’s mighty nation/ Who champions deforestation/ Says humans can master/ The threat of disaster/ By one-day-in-two defecation./// The head of Brazil's mighty nationWho champions deforestation Says humans can masterThe threat of disasterBy one-day-in-two defecation.#Bolsonaro #bolsonarohttps://t.co/lmjjW76pf4 — Mick … Continue reading

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Rump parliament

The speaker was forced to suspend/ A parliament Kenyans attend/ By fighting which started/ When one member farted/ (A motion was passed in the end)./// The speaker was forced to suspend A parliament Kenyans attendBy fighting which startedWhen one member … Continue reading

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Fanny Burney

Though Gwynnie advises that steam/ Will help your vagina to gleam,/ One poor woman learned/ When painfully burned/ It’s not a great wellness regime./// Though Gwynnie advises that steam Will help your vagina to gleam,One poor woman learnedWhen painfully burnedIt's … Continue reading

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Spinal tup

The German police are aware/ Of noise driving residents spare,/ But say thorough checks/ Revealed, having sex,/ Two hedgehogs – a prickly pair!/// The German police are awareOf noise driving residents spare,But say thorough checksRevealed, having sex,Two hedgehogs – a … Continue reading

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Drawback-free surgery

An old man went in for an op/ To make his incontinence stop/ But lax supervision/ Around circumcision/ Meant docs gave his foreskin the chop./// An old man went in for an opTo make his incontinence stopBut lax supervisionAround circumcisionMeant … Continue reading

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Providing ammunition

The racist-in-chief glibly blames/ Mass shootings on video games,/ While using his role/ To block gun control/ And fan white supremacist flames./// https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2019/aug/05/trump-news-today-el-paso-shooting-ohio-media-politics-latest The racist-in-chief glibly blamesMass shootings on video games,While using his roleTo block gun controlAnd fan white supremacist … Continue reading

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