Tag Archives: drugs

Sorted for Es and wizards

A famous boy wizard named Potter/ Turns out to be rather a rotter,/ Who secretly smuggles/ Narcotics to muggles,/ His books serving well as a blotter./// A famous boy wizard named PotterTurns out to be rather a rotter,Who secretly smugglesNarcotics … Continue reading

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Pulpo fiction

A driver whose conduct was odd/ Was nicked by the South Devon plod,/ Who judged he was smashed/ On hearing he crashed/ To miss a large cephalopod./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1093472175024164866

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No Shit?!

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// http://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2018/03/brixton-drug-suspect-smashes-the-record-for-refusing-to-poo-in-custody-after-an-astonishing-47-days/ A record in anal retentionWas set by a man in detentionWhose bowels wouldn't move,So cops … Continue reading

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Going Through the Motions

A dealer who swallowed his wraps/ Held out for 12 days with no craps,/ Surrounded by cops/ Awaiting the plops/ That marked his eventual lapse./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/essex-drug-dealers-excruciating-12-day-toilet-strike-after-swallowing-his-drugs-1633672  

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Dogs Turn Up Noses at Drugs

In Manchester, dogs trained to sniff/ For contraband cocaine and spliff/ Were able to find/ Some old bacon rind/ And camembert starting to whiff./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36041316 In Manchester, dogs trained to sniffFor contraband cocaine and spliffWere able to findAn old bacon rindAnd … Continue reading

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Party Line

A County Down priest is reported/ Last year to have gaily cavorted/ With Nazi regalia/ In wild bacchanalia/ Where coke was apparently snorted./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-35688401 A County Down priest is reportedLast year to have gaily cavortedWith Nazi regaliaIn wild bacchanaliaWhere coke … Continue reading

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Bra-smugglers lifted

This story’s a bit of a must:/ Australian cops were nonplussed/ At bras they found padded/ With liquid meth added/ In what was a sizeable bust./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-35576136 This story's a bit of a must:Australian cops were nonplussedAt bras they found … Continue reading

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Blunt Truth

A Tory MP who takes poppers/ Said this is no matter for coppers/ ‘Twould be an affront/ Declared Crispin Blunt/ To demonise lawful drug shoppers./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-35363865 A Tory MP who takes poppers Said this is no matter for coppers Twould be an … Continue reading

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From Penn to the Pen

A runaway drug cartel czar/ Did not get away very far;/ He’s back in the slammer/ In spite of the glamour/ Of meeting a Hollywood star./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35276894 A runaway drug cartel czar Did not get away very far; He's back in the … Continue reading

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Lord of Misrule

An old orange bra-wearing Lord/ Had fun as he snorted and whored/ But public life’s cruel/ And so Baron Sewel/ Must publicly fall on his sword./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33685519 An old orange bra-wearing Lord Had fun as he snorted and whored But public life's … Continue reading

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