Tag Archives: drugs

Compulsive behaviour

A driver from Malaga, Spain/ Was kidnapped, he tried to explain,/ And forced on the lash,/ To spend all his cash/ On prostitutes, booze and cocaine./// A driver from Malaga, SpainWas kidnapped, he tried to explain,And forced on the lash,To … Continue reading

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Party line

Though Gove snorted coke, so he said,/ When youthful and badly misled,/ It may be the case/ To run in this race/ It helps to be out of your head./// Though Gove snorted coke, so he said,When youthful and badly … Continue reading

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High School

A chemistry prof, Japanese, Whose students learnt how to make Es/ Is under arrest By cops unimpressed With MD-MA joint degrees./// A chemistry prof, Japanese.Whose students learnt how to make EsIs under arrestBy cops unimpressedWith MD-MA joint degrees.https://t.co/C65VOmY9mL — Mick … Continue reading

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This is real good shit, man!

Some Spanish researchers submit/ That though it may give you a hit,/ Because hashish passes/ Through drug smugglers’ arses*/ Most tokers smoke actual shit./   *or asses if that rhymes better for you   Some Spanish researchers submitThat though it … Continue reading

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Sorted for Es and wizards

A famous boy wizard named Potter/ Turns out to be rather a rotter,/ Who secretly smuggles/ Narcotics to muggles,/ His books serving well as a blotter./// A famous boy wizard named PotterTurns out to be rather a rotter,Who secretly smugglesNarcotics … Continue reading

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Pulpo fiction

A driver whose conduct was odd/ Was nicked by the South Devon plod,/ Who judged he was smashed/ On hearing he crashed/ To miss a large cephalopod./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1093472175024164866

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No Shit?!

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// http://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2018/03/brixton-drug-suspect-smashes-the-record-for-refusing-to-poo-in-custody-after-an-astonishing-47-days/ A record in anal retentionWas set by a man in detentionWhose bowels wouldn't move,So cops … Continue reading

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Going Through the Motions

A dealer who swallowed his wraps/ Held out for 12 days with no craps,/ Surrounded by cops/ Awaiting the plops/ That marked his eventual lapse./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/essex-drug-dealers-excruciating-12-day-toilet-strike-after-swallowing-his-drugs-1633672  

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Dogs Turn Up Noses at Drugs

In Manchester, dogs trained to sniff/ For contraband cocaine and spliff/ Were able to find/ Some old bacon rind/ And camembert starting to whiff./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36041316 In Manchester, dogs trained to sniffFor contraband cocaine and spliffWere able to findAn old bacon rindAnd … Continue reading

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Party Line

A County Down priest is reported/ Last year to have gaily cavorted/ With Nazi regalia/ In wild bacchanalia/ Where coke was apparently snorted./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-35688401 A County Down priest is reportedLast year to have gaily cavortedWith Nazi regaliaIn wild bacchanaliaWhere coke … Continue reading

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