Tag Archives: police

You Must Be Toking!

Some cops lost a big stash of pot/ Then argued that mice ate the lot./ The judge said ‘So why/ Are said mice not high?/ You may be on drugs but I’m not!’/// Some cops lost a big stash of … Continue reading

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No Shit?!

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// http://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2018/03/brixton-drug-suspect-smashes-the-record-for-refusing-to-poo-in-custody-after-an-astonishing-47-days/ A record in anal retentionWas set by a man in detentionWhose bowels wouldn't move,So cops … Continue reading

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Custody Creams

The theft of a double-tier tin/ With various biscuits therein/ Is deemed so improper/ It’s seen a Met copper/ Face charges of indiscipline./// CUSTODY CREAMSThe theft of a double-tier tinWith various biscuits thereinIs deemed so improperIt's seen a Met copperFace … Continue reading

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Malodorous Malefactor

A flatulent suspect departed/ Soon after his questioning started,/ For rather than speak/ He’d just lift a cheek -/ To answer each question, he farted./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775 A flatulent suspect departedSoon after his questioning started,For rather than speakHe'd just lift a … Continue reading

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Prime Minister Suspect

There was an old man named Sir Ted/ Of whom the police have now said/ He’d be down the station/ For interrogation/ If only he wasn’t so dead./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41503143 There was an old man named Sir TedOf whom the police … Continue reading

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Going Through the Motions

A dealer who swallowed his wraps/ Held out for 12 days with no craps,/ Surrounded by cops/ Awaiting the plops/ That marked his eventual lapse./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/essex-drug-dealers-excruciating-12-day-toilet-strike-after-swallowing-his-drugs-1633672  

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Chopper Copper

There was a lascivious copper/ Whose conduct was rather improper/ When women got bare/ He’d film from the air/ With one hand controlling his chopper./// https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jul/18/south-yorkshire-police-helicopter-crew-filmed-people-naked-sheffield-crown-court-told There was a lascivious copperWhose conduct was very improperIf women got bareHe'd film from … Continue reading

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Resisting A Vest

A senior Manchester cop/ Was censured for lifting her top,/ Displaying her breast/ And mocking the chest/ Produced by a colleague’s boob op./// https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/dec/01/police-chiefs-tirade-about-breasts-was-gross-misconduct-panel-rules A senior Manchester copWas censured for lifting her top,Displaying her breastAnd mocking the chestProduced by a … Continue reading

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Blowing Cover

A copper who goes undercover/ Is banned now from having a lover/ So if you are trying/ To work out who’s spying/ Just offer a bit of the other./// https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jun/29/sex-drugs-off-limits-undercover-police-guidelines A copper who goes undercoverIs banned now from having a … Continue reading

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It’s a Bust!

Two officers went chest to chest/ Disputing whose bosom was best/ The big bust-up ended/ With one cop suspended/ And all concerned under a vest./// Top police officer suspended ‘after row about whose breasts were most attractive’ Two officers went … Continue reading

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