Tag Archives: police

Blue line

Posted on March 3, 2019 by twitmericks

A South Wales detective named Clare/ Whose sins a tribunal laid bare/ Used language most lewd,/ Was terribly rude,/ And loudly polluted the air./// A South Wales detective named ClareWhose sins a tribunal laid bareUsed language most lewd,Was terribly rude,And … Continue reading →

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Pulpo fiction

Posted on February 7, 2019 by twitmericks

A driver whose conduct was odd/ Was nicked by the South Devon plod,/ Who judged he was smashed/ On hearing he crashed/ To miss a large cephalopod./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1093472175024164866

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Here be dragons

Posted on February 3, 2019 by twitmericks

The Welsh police put a red flag on/ A threat to the odd passing wagon:/ Give in to the urge/ To stare at the verge/ And risk being slain by a dragon./// The Welsh police put a red flag onA … Continue reading →

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Is this the way to Nantucket?

Posted on July 20, 2018 by twitmericks

Said Norfolk police, “What’s this here?/ This car is illegal, I fear”./ The driver said “Fuck it -/ What’s wrong with a bucket/ To sit on and pliers to steer?”/// Said Norfolk police, "What's this here?This car is illegal, I … Continue reading →

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You Must Be Toking!

Posted on April 13, 2018 by twitmericks

Some cops lost a big stash of pot/ Then argued that mice ate the lot./ The judge said ‘So why/ Are said mice not high?/ You may be on drugs but I’m not!’/// Some cops lost a big stash of … Continue reading →

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No Shit?!

Posted on March 8, 2018 by twitmericks

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// http://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2018/03/brixton-drug-suspect-smashes-the-record-for-refusing-to-poo-in-custody-after-an-astonishing-47-days/ A record in anal retentionWas set by a man in detentionWhose bowels wouldn't move,So cops … Continue reading →

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Custody Creams

Posted on February 20, 2018 by twitmericks

The theft of a double-tier tin/ With various biscuits therein/ Is deemed so improper/ It’s seen a Met copper/ Face charges of indiscipline./// CUSTODY CREAMSThe theft of a double-tier tinWith various biscuits thereinIs deemed so improperIt's seen a Met copperFace … Continue reading →

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Malodorous Malefactor

Posted on November 11, 2017 by twitmericks

A flatulent suspect departed/ Soon after his questioning started,/ For rather than speak/ He’d just lift a cheek -/ To answer each question, he farted./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775 A flatulent suspect departedSoon after his questioning started,For rather than speakHe'd just lift a … Continue reading →

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Prime Minister Suspect

Posted on October 5, 2017 by twitmericks

There was an old man named Sir Ted/ Of whom the police have now said/ He’d be down the station/ For interrogation/ If only he wasn’t so dead./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41503143 There was an old man named Sir TedOf whom the police … Continue reading →

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Going Through the Motions

Posted on August 6, 2017 by twitmericks

A dealer who swallowed his wraps/ Held out for 12 days with no craps,/ Surrounded by cops/ Awaiting the plops/ That marked his eventual lapse./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/essex-drug-dealers-excruciating-12-day-toilet-strike-after-swallowing-his-drugs-1633672  

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