Monthly Archives: December 2018

Ranter Claus

Dear Santa, all jolly and stout/ Got angry and started to shout;/ As children appeared,/ He ripped off his beard/ And hollered: “Just get the fuck out!”/// Dear Santa, all jolly and stoutGot angry and started to shout;As children appeared,He … Continue reading

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Chocs away!

A leak at a plant making chocs/ Saw more than a tonne of its stocks/ Pour into the street/ Beneath people’s feet -/ A sweet opportunity knocks./// A leak at a plant making chocsSaw more than a tonne of its … Continue reading

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May poll dance

Conservative backing for May/ Masks problems that won’t go away;/ Finessing the backstop/ Will not make the flak stop -/ She lives to die some other day./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46547246 Conservative backing for MayMasks problems that won't go away;Finessing the backstopWill not … Continue reading

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Party like it’s 1922

Sir Graham has 48 letters/ From applecart would-be-upsetters/ Desiring May’s exit,/ So let’s suspend Brexit/ While Tories resolve their vendettas./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/dec/12/brexit-chaos-conservative-mps-trigger-vote-of-no-confidence-theresa-may Sir Graham has 48 lettersFrom applecart would-be-upsettersDesiring May's exit,So let's suspend Brexit While Tories resolve their vendettas.#Brexit #Leadershipchallenge #toryleadership … Continue reading

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Off the wall

When Trump met Pelosi and Schumer,/ It put him in rather bad humour./ On hearing his wall/ Had no chance at all,/ He turned a deep shade of satsuma./// When Trump met Pelosi and Schumer,It put him in rather bad … Continue reading

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Christmas stuffing

A mum buying stuff for nativity/ Was thrown by the school’s negativity -/ To her it was news/ Inflatable ewes/ Are some people’s sexual proclivity./// A mum buying stuff for nativityWas thrown by the school's negativity –To her it was … Continue reading

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AKA AKK

Ms Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer/ Whom Merkel’s been grooming for power/ Is now to succeed ‘er/ As CDU leader,/ And after that? Cometh the hour…/// Ms Annegret Kramp-KarrenbauerWhom Merkel's been grooming for powerIs now to succeed 'erAs CDU leader,And after that? Cometh … Continue reading

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Eels in seals

A hungry Hawaiian monk seal/ Was rather annoyed by an eel/ Which got up its nose,/ Researchers suppose,/ To get out of being its meal./// A hungry Hawaiian monk sealWas rather annoyed by an eelWhich got up its nose,Researchers suppose,To … Continue reading

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Shrinky-winky

The substance behind the neat trick/ Of making a saucepan non-stick/ Was recently tested,/ And when it’s ingested,/ Reduces the size of one’s dick./// The substance behind the neat trickOf making a saucepan non-stickWas recently tested,And when it's ingested,Reduces the … Continue reading

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Hugger mugger

A fashion world mover and shaker/ Coerced female staff at Ted Baker/ With forcible hugs/ While kissing their lugs,/ The lecherous liberty-taker./// A fashion world mover and shakerCoerced female staff at Ted Baker With forcible hugsWhile stroking their lugs,The lecherous … Continue reading

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