Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Poultry Excuse

The fried poultry chain KFC/

Is out of one item that’s key -/

No use finger-lickin’,/

They’re clean out of chicken,/

As Britain goes KFC-free.///

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Flatulence and Turbulence

A plane was diverted one night/

When passengers started to fight;/

The turbulence started/

When one of them farted,/

So wind problems grounded the flight.///

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/fart-attack-plane-makes-emergency-landing-after-passenger-refuses-stop-breaking-wind-flight-1662146

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Spreading the Word

The church is to rent out its spires/

To boost broadband speeds in the shires,/

And feed, through the steeple/

The souls of the people/

As well as more earthly desires.///

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Without Prejudice?

When UKIP’s head honcho disgraces ’em/

The party just goes and replaces ‘im,/

But oh what a bind -/

It’s so hard to find/

A leader untainted by racism.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-43098646

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For Whom the Shill Trolls

We know 13 Russians played roles/

In hacking American polls/

To badmouth and pillory/

Candidate Hillary,/

But who was controlling the trolls?///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-43095881

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No Sex Please, We’re Australian

The sex life of one politician/

Provoked a restrictive condition/

On pols in Australia/

And their genitalia/

That bans staff-related coition.///

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/feb/15/australia-bans-ministers-having-sex-with-staff-barnaby-joyce-malcolm-turnbull

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Bye Bye Tsvangirai

A fellow named Morgan from Zim/

Crossed swords with Mugabe the crim;/

He saw the dictator/

Fall sooner or later/

But in the end, too late for him.///

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/feb/14/morgan-tsvangirai-zimbabwe-opposition-leader-dies-aged-65

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Jacob’s Snakes and Ladders

South Africa’s President Zuma,/

A luxury fittings consuma,/

Reluctantly quit/

When knee-deep in shit,/

But did so with very bad huma.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-43066443

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Dare to Bare!

Though sleevelessness may have its charms,/

Kim Campbell considers it harms/

TV women’s gravitas;/

Others would have it as/

Asserting one’s right to bare arms.///

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Received with Fangs

A clerk who was caught on the take/

Said: Come on guys, gimme a break/

Although it sounds funny/

You’ll find all that money/

Inside the Nigerian Snake!///

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