Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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A dog’s life

A man who dressed up as a collie
Said “though you may think it a folly
To go the whole hog
And live as a dog,
I’m barking, but not off my trolley!”

https://t.co/gqGwxTQIVh

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Boris and vomit

The final report from Sue Gray/
Says Johnson’s lot partied away/
With vomiting, brawls,/
And wine on the walls,/
The rules not for them to obey.
///

https://t.co/nwAMxCyg67

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Bird’s aye view

“In keeping with jackdaw flock laws”,/
Said Jack to the rest of the daws,/
“The ayes to the right/
In favour of flight/
Now show your support for the caws”.///

https://t.co/WwHP5LP0SR

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Roots of conflict

Three years ago, soothsayer Truss
Said Brexit for Ulster’s a plus,
Except for old farts
With turnips in carts –
I don’t see them causing a fuss!

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Putin his futin it

The strategist Vladimir Putin/
Set out to stop Nato recruitin’,/
But seeing his deeds/
The Finns and the Swedes,/
Are eager to start contributin’.
/

https://t.co/jJ0YZhCMB9

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Bald legal

There was an old man with no hair,/
Whose sacking a court ruled unfair,/
The names he was called,/
Because he was bald,/
Like telling a woman “nice pair”.///

https://t.co/7GGk3yrIu5

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Breach of protocol

“Dear Brussels, we hope you don’t mind,/
This protocol thing Boris signed,/
Announcing he’d won/
And got Brexit done,/
Was not very good, we now find”.
///

https://t.co/9k9WohH1Ra

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Work hard, play hard

A species of river cetacean,/
When going through bouts of frustration/
No dolphin can take,/
Will play ‘toss the snake’/
For sexual gratification.
///

https://t.co/VsHTK84d85

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Chapatigate

There was a old fellow named Keir/
Who said: “What must happen is clear,/
If cops have suspicions/
Of top politicians.”/
The Durham police: “Hold my beer”.
///

https://t.co/kAuN7fIoTM

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Taking counsel

The loss to the Tories of Wandsworth/
Shows what the prime minister’s bond’s / worth;/
As Britain elects,/
His party reflects/
What keeping the maverick blond’s worth.///

https://t.co/0GCOU6H02r

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