Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Yellowhammer horror

The government’s great No Deal wheeze,/

As Op Yellowhammer foresees,/

Means shortages, riots/

And limited diets -/

A little bit of bread and no cheese.///

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Compulsive behaviour

A driver from Malaga, Spain/

Was kidnapped, he tried to explain,/

And forced on the lash,/

To spend all his cash/

On prostitutes, booze and cocaine.///

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Statue of limitations

“Oh give me your tired, your poor,/

The wretched of your teeming shore,/

Your great huddled masses,/

And we’ll kick their asses,/

And show ’em”, Trump’s aide said, “the door”.///

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Where there’s muck…

The man behind Johnson’s campaign/

Hates subsidies, this he makes plain,/

Yet Cummings has trousered/

A few hundred thousand/

From Brussels, despite his disdain.///

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Shit suggestion

The head of Brazil’s mighty nation/

Who champions deforestation/

Says humans can master/

The threat of disaster/

By one-day-in-two defecation.///

 

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Rump parliament

The speaker was forced to suspend/

A parliament Kenyans attend/

By fighting which started/

When one member farted/

(A motion was passed in the end).///

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Fanny Burney

Though Gwynnie advises that steam/

Will help your vagina to gleam,/

One poor woman learned/

When painfully burned/

It’s not a great wellness regime.///

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Spinal tup

The German police are aware/

Of noise driving residents spare,/

But say thorough checks/

Revealed, having sex,/

Two hedgehogs – a prickly pair!///

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Drawback-free surgery

An old man went in for an op/

To make his incontinence stop/

But lax supervision/

Around circumcision/

Meant docs gave his foreskin the chop.///

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Providing ammunition

The racist-in-chief glibly blames/

Mass shootings on video games,/

While using his role/

To block gun control/

And fan white supremacist flames.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2019/aug/05/trump-news-today-el-paso-shooting-ohio-media-politics-latest

 

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