Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Force of Nature

To Be Here Now up in the Dales,/
Snowed in at the pub after gales,/
You can’t Slide Away/
And so, Some Might Say,/
Just Roll With It – Don’t Stop the ales!
///

https://t.co/EU8mKEypeS

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Spunk not junk

For plastic that’s good for ecology,/
Some scientists turned to biology,/
And made something firm/
From veg oil and sperm,/
Which could be the coming technology.///

https://t.co/R0bBtvDBOM

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No Words

A man in in a hole at a gig/
Unwisely continued to dig,/
Dried up, lost his place,/
Got egg on his face/
Then waffled about Peppa Pig.
///

https://t.co/IdVKuOdnDs

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Piss Dacre

A right-wing Conservative knob/
Was groomed for the top Ofcom job,/
But couldn’t pass muster,/
And so with great bluster/
He blamed his defeat on ‘the blob’.
///

https://t.co/gwBTtJtQUu

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Eat out to fall out

A restaurant deal in Hunan/
Said fill up as much as you can,/
Till Kang, one fine day,/
Cleaned out the buffet,/
And landed a permanent ban.
///

https://t.co/dfOGq57jGF

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Greedy Nuts

A squirrel out trying its luck/
Espied a bird feeder and snuck/
Inside for some nuts/
And filled up its guts/
Until the poor critter was stuck.
///

https://t.co/QkU4ZZHOsH

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Cop over… and out?

In Glasgow a big UN meeting/
Said coal, which creates global heating/
Is bad for the planet,/
But just couldn’t ban it,/
A stance that may prove self-defeating.
/

https://t.co/ZeRldwkqFJ

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Cox on the Rocks

The member for Torridge, old Coxy,/
Left Britain for islands more foxy/
To trouser vast stacks/
Advising on tax/
And vote in the Commons by proxy.
///

https://t.co/hhFLEdZNXL

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Anglers Master Bait

A net user trawling for cod/
Was heard to exclaim “Oh my God!/
It must be a hack/
Or phishing attack,/
But look at the size of that rod!”
///

https://t.co/481wV2jUIv

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Cricket Balls-up

The people who run Yorkshire cricket,/
Whose sponsors have told them to stick it,/
Said ‘banter’s not racism!’,/
So what now faces ’em/
Looks like a most sticky wicket.
///

https://t.co/wnBcd1LRQh

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