Conservative member Mark Menzies
Rang up in the strangest of frenzies:
“Our slush fund must pay
Some bad guys 5K –
It won’t be for keepsies, just lenzies”.

thetimes.co.uk/article/28f948…

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politi…

A devious honeytrap app
Has caught more than one Tory chap
Since back in September*
One upstanding member
Was pictured unclothed in a snap.

*Well, it may have been then!

A chatbot that rose to a dare
Was caused by a user to swear
And led to admit
That DPD’s shit
(Its haiku was too, to be fair).

The Tory frontbencher Lee Anderson
Declares that the bill on Rwanda’s an
Inadequate measure
But listen up, treasure,
It’s just meant to be propaganda, son.

With ex-PM Cameron back
To give foreign office a crack,
That Cleverly fella
Replaces Suella,
Whom Sunak has given the sack.

A member is facing suspension
For quite a severe contravention:
He showed an aide meanness
And also his penis,
That being the Bone of contention.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-67122669

A woman who worked in a zoo
Put dung from her charges on view,
Curating the faeces
Of various species:
Her show is a load of old poo.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/oct/07/like-something-from-bake-off-animal-poo-exhibition-opens-in-london?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

The Lincolnshire force has denied
Reports of a mass homicide;
The bodies strewn round
Were there, police found,
For yoga, and nobody died.

A man who likes tweeting a turd,
Whose statements are often absurd,
Set out to wreck Twitter
By making it shitter
Then flipping its users the bird.

As Musk tears the playbook to shreds,
Disfunctional management spreads,
But being no quitter
I’ll post stuff on Twitter
And also on Zuckerberg’s Threads.