Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Thrill Sikas

A young and frustrated snow monkey/

When feeling a little bit spunky/

Will mount, if one’s near,/

A cute sika deer/

And see if they want to get funky.///

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The Mouse that Roared

Old Murdoch is selling off stocks/
And so opportunity knocks./
A chunk of his business/
Will now be Walt Disney’s/
The mouse having swallowed the fox.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-42353545

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Please No Moore

Electors considered Roy Moore/

And voted to show him the door;/

For President Trump,/

His pal on the stump,/

This signifies trouble in store.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-42333712

 

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Fly him to the Moon

There was an old orange-faced loon/

Who wanted to go to the moon./

“Enjoy your big ride”,/

The people replied – /

“It can’t come a moment too soon!”///

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-space/trump-wants-to-send-u-s-astronauts-back-to-moon-someday-mars-idUSKBN1E51QP

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Getting Lairy with Dairy

Two versions for this limerick:

My first effort went:

Mourinho was letting off steam/

At members of Man City’s team/

When one of that ilk/

Threw semi-skimmed milk/

At one used to coaching the cream.///

Then I remembered a rather apposite anagram* – perhaps it wasn’t milk after all?

Mourinho was letting off steam/

At members of Man City’s team/

When one of that ilk/

Threw semi-skimmed milk/

Or possibly synthetic cream.///

*Synthetic cream=Manchester City.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42306141

 

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Earth Mover

A recent explosion from Kim/

Has altered the world’s outer rim/

The man from Pyongyang/

Said this was a bang/

That sure made the earth move for him.///

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Gin Sling

While holding a drink, young Ben Duckett/

Unwisely decided to chuckett/

He said though I should/

Take care and be good/

I’ve had a few pints now, so Fuckett.///

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/dec/09/england-ben-duckett-dropped-ashes-tour-game-after-perth-bar-incident

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Blockhead

A foolhardy YouTubing pranker/

Attracted the Fire Brigade’s rancour/

For anyone shovin’/

His head in an oven/

Filled up with cement is a witless imbecile.///

https://news.sky.com/story/youtube-prankster-cements-head-in-microwave-in-wolverhampton-11160640

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Bringing Home the Bacon?

This little pig went to Brussels/

To break with the Treaty of Rome/

But after some flexing of muscles/

Went Oui Oui Oui all the way home.///

*The observant among you will have instantly noticed that this is not a limerick. I can only account for this rare divergence on my part by observing that I am not firmly bound by the rules of the limerick format, although I do maintain full alignment with them on a purely voluntary basis.

https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/staggers/2017/12/key-points-brexit-deal-and-what-it-means-theresa-may

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To be Franken…

Announcing his own resignation/

Because of alleged molestation/

Al Franken suggests/

When talking sex pests/

We look at the head of the nation.///

https://www.thedailybeast.com/al-franken-ironic-im-leaving-when-trump-roy-moore-have-support

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