Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Greenwashing up

A woman advising a state/
That’s leaving it terribly late/
To stop global warming/
Has done some brainstorming,/
And asks that you don’t rinse your plate.
///

https://t.co/lFf6zfB3DI

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Cower Bungle

A man from the party in power/
Instructed us all not to cower,/
For now they’re desirous/
We live with a virus/
Let rip by this absolute shower.
///

https://t.co/VXQfwBAHfX

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Arse-covering Advised

Unnamed politicians impart/
Fresh news of how Covid can start:/
Significant data’s/
Emerging on flatus,/
Suggesting transmission by fart.
///

https://t.co/s0725qCWi5

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Pings Fall Apart

The chiefs of the U-nited Kingdom,/
In thrall to chaotic Right-wingdom,/
Said “Freedom is here!/
Go clubbing! Drink beer!”/
Then when people did so they pingdom.
///

https://t.co/GRVs7wDMDo

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Pocket Rocket

The richest bloke anyone’s seen has
Now visited space, if not Venus,
The cash from your pocket
Financing a rocket
That looks like a 60-foot penis.

https://t.co/p6W1vSKctW

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Drop the pilot

The Chancellor and the PM/
Said quarantine wasn’t for them,/
Till public reaction/
Provoked a retraction,/
Another comms policy gem.
///

https://t.co/SljWqQCdmI

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Where’s Andrew kneel?

A news channel new to TV/
Declared itself home of the free/
With space for dissenters,/
But cancels presenters/
For brazenly taking the knee.
///

https://t.co/z61sIwDBe1

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Anal-gesic

A football supporter so dumb/
He stuck a lit flare up his bum/
And watched his arse smoke/
Said cider and coke/
Had rendered his buttocks quite numb.
//

https://t.co/kwMaadfHAX

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Blame Game

Old Boris, who newly deplores/
Race hate, called the networks indoors/
And, shifting the blame,/
Declared: “Up your game!”/
To which the reply came “Up yours!”
///

https://t.co/jSTOcM2J8Y

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Pocket rocket

Old Branson was ever so slick/
In getting it up double-quick,/
And winning the race/
Of rich guys in space/
For who is the swingingest Dick.
///

https://t.co/KTv2ehTPCH

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