Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Bye-bye Election

The voters of Chesham in Bucks/
Decided this government sucks/
And voted Lib Dem,/
The Tories, to them,/
Appearing to give zero fucks.
///

https://t.co/inBWxFkV41

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Give a dog a boner

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,/
But this one got bored chasing sticks/
And found a new toy/
So perfect, oh boy!/
He grinned like a dog with two dicks.
///

https://t.co/RoxXWe7FGa

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Hancock Sucks

Dom Cummings, that vengeful old chap,/
Showed messages sent on WhatsApp/
By Johnson, no less,/
That plainly express/
The view that Matt Hancock is crap.
///

https://t.co/6BoKQXDZax

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Cola Shoulder

Ronaldo made clear what he thinks/
Of sponsors with sugary drinks,/
Suggesting we oughta/
Just drink bottled water/
And not Coca-cola, which stinks.
///

https://t.co/Oz22awlKPw

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Hard to swallow

A fisherman, 56, male,/
Was swallowed alive by a whale./
Leviathan spewed,/
Ejecting the dude,/
Who therefore can tell us his tale.
///

https://t.co/9JFNvcdKv5

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Jabs Tomorrow

Rich leaders who met in St Ives,/
Along with their husbands and wives,/
Declared: “Just as soon/
As we’re all immune,/
We’ll help other countries save lives”.
///

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Camberwell Carrot

In Washington state they’ve agreed,/
To make vaccination succeed,/
The Cannabis Board/
Will give a reward:/
One joint of high-quality weed.///

https://t.co/LBLkHafW0a

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Fashion Victims

Foot history experts peruse/
Old skeletons, searching for clues,/
And, knowing their onions,/
Say what gave folks bunions/
Was wearing those pointy-toed shoes.
///

https://t.co/04tRN1Bzdf

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Talks hit snag

“This deal, though we backed it at first”,/
Cried Johnson, “Must now be reversed”,/
And drifted still more/
Towards sausage war,/
With Europe left fearing the Wurst.
///

https://t.co/BPTfLZIwuE

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Net Loss

The cloud network company Fastly/
Hosts internet services vastly,/
So when it goes wrong,/
Though not for that long,/
The ripple effect is quite ghastly.
///

https://t.co/UcQ5U2GJ1t

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