Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Camp Commander

A president lacking a heart/

Tears parents and children apart/

In camps on the border,/

Detained on his order,/

The vile, xenophobic old fart.///

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Father Brexmas

Conservative ministers say/

That Brexit will bring the UK/

A shedload of wealth/

To pay for our health,/

Delivered by unicorn sleigh.///

https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/health/2018/06/there-no-brexit-dividend-spend-nhs

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Jacob’s Escape Ladder

Rees-Mogg, the hardline Brexiteer,/

Who manages funds over here,/

Has launched one in Dublin/

Where things look less troublin’ -/

Perhaps to be named Project Fear.///

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Cocky Raccoon

A daring raccoon in St Paul/
Who scaled a 300-foot wall/
Arrived at the top,/
And seeing the drop/
Said: “Jeez, that’s a helluva fall!”///

https://www.npr.org/2018/06/13/619491657/raccoon-is-trapped-in-minnesota-after-capturing-fans-worldwide?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20180613

 

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Single Bat

We have a small species of bat/ 
With quite a confined habitat;/
There’s one of them only,/
And he’s rather lonely,/
So when he dies, that will be that.///

 

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Unreality TV Show

A televised pair on an isle/

Exchange loving looks as they smile/

And Donald picks Kim/

To couple with him/

Until they break up in a while.///

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Seat of Power

His very own personal loo/
Accompanied Kim when he flew/
So enemy spies/
Cannot analyse/
The DPRK Leader’s poo.///

 

 

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Who Bankrolls Banks?

A big Brexit donor named Banks,/

Who funded the Europhobe ranks,/

Insists in discussions/

He said to the Russians:/

“Part share in a goldmine? No thanks!”///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/jun/09/arron-banks-russia-brexit-meeting

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Trading Insults

The G7 summit is done/

And Trump’s new trade war has begun/

The other six feel/

If Trump wants a deal/

He’ll have to set up the G1.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44427660

This is a revised version of my original limerick, which was written before Trump threw his toys out of the pram. Here’s the first version:

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Armageddon Outta Here!

A fellow whose air’s charlatanic/

Is telling us all not to panic/

But when meltdown comes/

Will Boris and chums/

Be first to jump off the Titanic?///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/jun/07/boris-johnson-admits-there-may-be-a-brexit-meltdown

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