Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Money talks

Trump’s line on Khashoggi is: “Shucks,/

Our Saudi pals spend some big bucks,/

So though it looks murky,/

What happened in Turkey,/

The truth is I give zero fucks”.///

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Mucky as Commons

Oh pity the people who clean/

The building where MPs have been,/

Removing stuff from it/

Like condoms and vomit/

And other things still more obscene.///

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Fatal passion

Maurizio ‘Zanza’ Zanfanti/

Aged 62, died in flagrante./

Asked whether he passed/

From shagging too fast/

His lover said, ‘No, twas andante!’///

Been away for a week, so just updating the blog with some from the last few days. This was a gift of a story, and this one with its punchline is a bit like a (very tame!) limerick from the lewd school, I feel.

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Fish mousse

A truck full of fish hit a moose/

And barrels of herring broke loose./

To clear it away,/

The role mops would play/

Was sluicing the smorgasbord juice.///

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Chantilly filly

A horse galloped into a bar/

Where drinkers enjoying a jar/

Said: “Why the long face?/

You’ve run your last race,/

You’re now a big internet star!”///

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Hunt off target

The minister Jeremy Hunt/
Caused many in Europe affront/
With dodgy comparisons/
To Red Army garrisons,/
A foolish, ridiculous stunt.///

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Divorce Party

The pledge of a great celebration/

To rally the post-Brexit nation/

By May’s lot in Birmingham/

Helps in confirmingham/

As people in deep desperation.////

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-45697248

 

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My life of rhyme

On Saturday, 12 until 4/

Mick Twister will set out his store,/

Advising on rhyming/

And meter and timing,/

Free entry (for lack of a door).///

Yes, on for a short rhyme only – another chance to catch one of Mick Twister’s limerick workshops on Saturday September 29, 2018, in London N19.

http://www.archwaywithwords.com/limerick-making-with-mick-twister

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Judge judged

There once was a pale, stale, male/

Entitled alumnus of Yale/

Who, being accused/

By those he’d abused,/

Would bluster and bully and wail.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/sep/27/kavanaugh-ford-testimony-latest-what-will-they-say-senate-hearing

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Seal of disapproval

A paddler encountered a seal/

Who popped up right under his keel/

And wielding an oc-/

Topus gave him a sock/

For rudely disturbing its meal.///

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