Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Boris’s red herring

The words of the blond ego-tripper/

Who brandished an Isle of Man kipper/

Were piffle and pish -/

For non-EU fish,/

The UK sets rules for the shipper.///

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Swarm front

The outlook for Sussex and Hants/

Has residents crapping their pants -/

That cloud isn’t rain,/

Forecasters explain,/

It’s one massive shower of ants.///

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The langouste goodbye

De Rugy protested in vain/

He hadn’t a head for champagne/

And didn’t like lobster -/

Like Macron gives jobs to/

Old killjoys whose tastes are so plain!///

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Race to the bottom

Trump’s Twitter account just disgraces ‘im,/

All far-right ideas, he embraces ’em -/

To start down the track:/

‘They’re black, send ’em back’/

Is out-and-out undisguised racism.///

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Final fizz

The final left England in clover,/

The dream for New Zealand all over,/

But both gave their all/

Until the last ball/

Of cricket’s champagne superover.///

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First Serb

A fellow named Novak from Serbia/

Played tennis in London’s suburbia/

And though Roger Federer/

Just kept getting betterer/

Old Djoko was even superb-ier.///

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Hardened criminal sought

A face-tattooed mulleted scuzz/

Is wanted for theft by the fuzz/

Who say that he took/

Vibrators, the crook!/

Perhaps it was just for the buzz.///

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Ambo in limbo

A diplomat fellow named Kim/

Said POTUS’s White House was grim;/

When Trump got the hump/

And Johnson kissed rump/

It all ended badly for him.///

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Yodel air hoo-ha

The Swiss Patrol’s aerial show/

Got townspeople up to high doh/

By drowning their song -/

A terrible wrong/

To lay low a yodeller so.///

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The wrong Kim

A thin-skinned old fellow named Trump/

Got into a bit of a grump/

As Britain’s ambassador/

Could not have been acider/

About the incompetent chump.///

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