Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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It could be verse

Prosaic Theresa gets terse/

She sees things can only get worse/

Perhaps, Mrs May,/

World Poetry Day/

Means now is the time to re-verse.///

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Mouseproud

A pensioner scratching his head/

About who had tidied his shed,/

By using his nous,/

Discovered a mouse/

That didn’t like mess near its bed.///

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Ewes it or lose it

Some 56 ewes went to term,/

Australian farmers confirm,/

Each bearing a lamb,/

From one long-dead ram,/

By means of some very old sperm.///

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Period piece

Dmitry was ever so able:/

He dreamed up, or so goes the fable,/

A way, by formatinum,/

Lead, zinc, carbon, platinum/

Et al might appear in a table.///

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Putting the F in fibre

I’m sorry my speech is so rude,/

It’s not me but rather my food,/

Our ancestors’ diet/

Accounting for why it/

Is frequently fucking well crude.///

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May not last

MPs gave their backing today/

To seeking a Brexit delay:/

As this month’s too soon,/

They’ll try end of June,/

(Before which will come end of May).///

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Pecking order reversed

A fox who thought chickens were weak/

Discovered the harm they can wreak/

For once in their pen/

He found that the hen/

Is made with a very sharp beak.///

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The brex files

Things are moving pretty fast these days… by the time I came to post this afternoon’s tweet it had been overtaken by tonight’s. Both follow:

The PM went over to France/

And got some new words to enhance/

The deal she’d deliver/

But most will still give her/

A snowball in hell’s kind of chance.

* **

Theresa might feel on reflection/

Another decisive rejection/

In this Commons vote/

Means time to take note/

By calling a general election.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47547887

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Florida gets torrider

A Florida spa parlour owner/

And recent Republican donor/

Sells clients a hump/

Or access to Trump,/

Whichever will give them a boner.///

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Gin & shit

Next day when you feel overhung,/

Head pounding, with leathery tongue,/

You’ll sit there and think/

Now why did I drink/

That gin made from elephant dung?///

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