Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Moby Dick

The strangest marine creature seen is/
A worm of priapulus genus/
Which squirms on the bed/
And thrusts up its head,/
A quasi-autonomous penis.
///

https://t.co/y819ZpgzRR

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What’s up Doc?

A doc in a virtual dock/

Gave courtroom officials a shock./

“Please don’t commit perjury,/

If you’re not in surgery”/

The clerk asked, “Then why the blue smock?”///

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Free Verse

Is monetisation a curse,
And will it make Twitterland worse?
While Twitter’s top scholars
Want dollars for follers,
To poets, the charge is perverse.

https://t.co/amHraK84V3

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Bum Deal

The detail some purchasers missed in
This popular Amazon listing
Is that it is not
A cute table pot
But one that is spat, shat or pissed in.

https://t.co/hGcOkbnoij

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Cummings gets the hump

A dog was subjected to spin,/

And branded a traitor within /

Who randomly pissed/

And should be dismissed,/

Because he humped Cummings’s shin.///

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Terror Bite

A lass in Alaska, alas,
Was processing natural gas
Outside on the can
When out of the pan
A bear bit a piece of her ass.

https://t.co/1toSLyjbHo

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Winter Cruz

Republican Senator Cruz
Swapped midwinter power cut blues
For sunny Cancun,
Then said: “What, too soon?
Why can’t they just change the damn fuse?”

https://t.co/NMtizWT6Cr

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Flat wrong

On getting the Covid jab call,
One chap said: “My belly’s not small,
But now I know why
My BMI’s high –
They think that I’m three inches tall!

https://t.co/oZz9ZMAWSW

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Sweeping Gesture

When Dominic Raab went on Zoom,/

He carefully laid out his room/

To strike the right tone,/

But so far unknown/

Is just what he meant by that broom.///

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Primitive life-forms

Deep under the ice, on a boulder,/
Some primitive animals moulder,/
Though sentient life/
Down there is not rife -/
It’s like Mar-a-Lago, but colder.
/

https://t.co/8w6209zp4W

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