Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). https://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Nuttall Scuttled

The voters in pro-Brexit Stoke/
Rejected the UKIP top bloke/
Contriving to scuttle/
The plans of Paul Nuttall/
Whose future has gone up in smoke.///

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/staggers/2017/02/defeat-stoke-beginning-end-paul-nuttall

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Ranieri Fox Off

A manager’s just got the chop/

Who took his team right to the top/

For under Ranieri/

This season got hairy/

With Leicester at risk of the drop.///

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/feb/23/claudio-rainieri-sacked-leicester

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Planet Ahead

Astronomers scanning the skies/

Saw 7 rocks roughly earth’s size/

Go round a pink sun/

That’s called Trappist-1,/

A place to go if our sun dies.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-39034050

OK, I toyed with taking this one in a political direction, but played it straight in the end. But Steve Clarke (@alpha_ginge) has helpfully offered the alternative last line:

A haven from Mr. Trumps lies.

Which seems to work pretty well too.

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Milo, Lie Low!

There was a provoker named Milo/

Much-loved in his ultra-right silo/

Till he said a bloke/

Who gave boys a poke/

Was not in his book paedophilo.///

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/politics/ct-milo-yiannopoulos-resignation-analysis-20170221-story.html

 

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Pie Case Opened

The FA is questioning why/
Wayne Shaw ate a second-half pie;/
The keeper at Sutton,/
Turned televised glutton,/
Denies placing bets on the sly.///

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/feb/21/sutton-united-wayne-shaw-fa-betting-rules

 

 

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Scandinavian Myth

 

The Donald caused incomprehension/
By picking out #Sweden for mention/
Attacking fake news/
But choosing to use/
A story that’s total invention.///

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/donald-trump-faces-wave-of-mockery-on-social-media-after-sweden-attack-comments-a3471051.html

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Tinker, Cayla, Soldier, Spy

For anyone tempted to get/
A doll that can access the net/
The Germans advise/
They could become spies/
And pose a security threat.///

http://boingboing.net/2017/02/17/germans-warned-to-destroy-cayl.html

 

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A Job to Fill

 

As NSA head Donald Trump/

Chose Flynn whom he then had to dump/

And so he put forward/

A fellow named Harward/

Who said take a big running jump.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/feb/16/robert-harward-turns-down-national-security-adviser-trump

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Blair Ditch Brexit Project

 

The former prime minister Blair/

Said voters were quite unaware/

What Brexit denotes/

Though casting their votes/

For him was a different affair.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/feb/17/tony-blair-debilitated-labour-is-facilitating-a-disastrous-brexit

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Marital Disharmony

 

The synod has voted to thwart/

A C of E bishops’ report/

Because it disparages/

Single-sex marriages/

Which many clerics support.///

https://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2017/17-february/news/uk/synod-rebuff-for-bishops-report-on-sexuality

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