Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Johnson feels pinch

“I’ll get along fine”, declared Boris,/
“I’ll ride this thing out now, no worries,/
Though Sajid has quit,/
And Rishi, the shit,/
Et tu – I’ll give both jobs to Dorries”.
///

https://t.co/Pu7prFBJsZ

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Booze from loos

Though many may take it amiss,/
Declaring, “I’m not drinking this!”,/
In Singapore brewers/
Say waste from the sewers/
Is great when you’re out on the piss.
///

https://t.co/N51FsKLmSu

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Pincher hits bottom

Chris Pincher, a top Tory whip
Blamed booze after losing his grip:
“It’s rather a farce,
I do feel an arse –
And that’s why I’ve had to jump ship”.

https://t.co/j3BKZdhbe2

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sexchequer funding

A sex party firm on the rocks/
Soon found opportunity knocks,/
For tax-paying Britons/
Bailed out Killing Kittens,/
In which the UK now owns stocks.
///

https://t.co/55dExhA5C2

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Chair pays for seat loss

“When Tory results go to shit”/
Said Dowden, “I think it is fit”/
That senior bosses/
Account for our losses./
Since Johnson won’t do it, I quit”.
///

https://t.co/N7fbLwr0ki

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

News in briefs

Lace underwear made for a man/
May just be a flash in the pan/
But shorts that are frilly/
And highlight the willy/
Are making it big in Japan.
///

https://t.co/GztTLKrgQ9

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sex on eight legs

A very small species of mite/
Has sex on your face every night -/
The parasites cling on/
To hairs that they swing on/
In scenes of erotic delight./


https://t.co/zYsWBi40MI

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What’s Johnson’s game?

As Number 10 tries hard to parry
The tales of job offers to Carrie,
Will Johnson now claim
It’s all just a game
He plays, known as “Shag, appoint, marry”?

https://t.co/AuFYh0nfvZ

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The only way is ethics

The ethics adviser Lord Geidt/
Resigned his position toneidt,/
For who can advise/
A fellow who lies,/
And ethics-wise, gives not a sheidt?
///

https://t.co/MmxLwZJEX0

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Grounded judgment

There was a transnational court/
That stopped, as a final resort,/
Rwanda-bound flights,/
Upholding the rights/
Of those Britain sought to deport.
///

https://t.co/Y7hSn96Afe

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment