News: Mick Twister to speak

If you’re in London in October you’ll have the chance to hear me read some limericks and talk about @twitmericks, There was an Old Geezer Called Caesar and the second Mick Twister book, There was an Old Man with Six Wives: A Right Royal History in Limericks, due out early next year.

I’ll be speaking on Saturday October 22 at 3.30pm in Archway Library (right by Archway tube) as part of the Archway With Words festival – full programme here: Archway With Words

Admission is free, and I have no idea whether it’ll be as rampacked as a Virgin train or just me chatting to a few loyal mates and family members who happen to live locally. But the only way to be absolutely sure of getting in would be to book ahead, of course!

 

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Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). https://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Rosetta Hits Stone

A probe that was tracking a comet/
Was sent kamikaze to bomb it/
Rosetta crash-landed/
Eternally stranded/
But first dispatched images from it.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-37520420

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No Pandering to Pandas

A panda who lived on a glove/

Got grief from the powers above/

Producers feared Sooty/

Might get a bit smutty/

If he and Soo found puppet love.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-37505309

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Once Bitten, Twice Bitten

A very unfortunate man/
Got spider-bites twice on the can/
Both times on his cock/
Which though quite a shock/
Was clearly no flash in the pan.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251

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Scam, Cam, Thank You Sam

The ex-England gaffer Big Sam/
Fell foul of a secret spycam/
That filmed Allardyce /
Dispensing advice/
On a third-party ownership scam.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37483344

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Keep Your Hair on, Don

The candidates Clinton and Trump/

Faced off one-to-one on the stump/

Debating her emails/

And him dissing females,/

Which put Donald into a grump.///

http://www.vox.com/2016/9/27/13067822/debate-clinton-trump-sexism

 

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Bum Rap

A new law in Melbourne, Australia/

Bans mooning and bare genitalia/

Forbidding the streak/

And flash of bum-cheek/

Or similar paraphernalia.///

http://www.news.com.au/national/victoria/courts-law/mooning-ban-you-could-have-people-doing-it-everyday-with-no-sanction-victoria-attorney-general-says/news-story/51f364aa16962e9225e1e1b93bc0fa49

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Owen, Goin’, Gone

The leadership challenger Owen/

Did not make a good enough showin’,/

Found not as absorbin’/

As Jeremy Corbyn/

Who saw his majority growin’.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37461219

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Love Rats

A chap won an Ig Nobel Prize/

For pants of a very small size/

He put on male rats/

To show using stats/

How fabrics harm sex life in guys.///

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/22/ig-nobel-prizes-trousers-for-rats-and

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Take a Hike

A hitch-hiker got a bit miffed/

When noone would give him a lift/

The NZ police/

For breaching the peace/

Have given the Frenchman short shrift.///

 http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11714999
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Pitt Split

The couple they called Brangelina/

Departed the public arena/

As Jolie told Pitt/

She wanted a split,/

No doubt after some misdemeanour.///

http://www.tmz.com/2016/09/20/angelina-joile-files-for-divorce-brad-pitt/

 

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