Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Tara Terry

There once was a man who’d employ/

His talents to bring the world joy:/

In women’s attire,/

“He’s not the Messiah”,/

He shrieked, “He’s a very naughty boy!”*///

*Apologies for the extra syllable in the last line. I’m normally strict on metre, but I felt a little leeway could be allowed here.

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States of Denial

Said Donald, a consummate liar
With form as a climate denier,
Those prophets of doom
Just keep spreading gloom!
Said Greta, the world is on fire.

#DavosToday
#WEF20
#GretaThurnberg
#Trump
#WEFDavos

https://t.co/1l4X5tywHK

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Space Cadets

American forces in space
Have suffered severe loss of face
From camouflage gear
Which some people fear
Will look, with no trees, out of place.

#spacecamo
#SpaceFarce
#SpaceForce

https://t.co/rURFDB5Mgh

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Hands-on Training

A boxer was heard to insist
The action is all in the wrist –
By beating his meat
On endless repeat,
He’s practising hard with one fist.

#tysonfury
#furywilder2

https://t.co/43R1wM3Iu8

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No-bell Prize

The UK PM recommends
The nation through crowdfunding spends
A cool half a million
On Big Ben’s carillion
For Brexit, or else… the bell ends!

#bigbenbongs
#BorisJohnson

https://t.co/CRa1lPqGGX

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Pecker Checker

A health testing firm’s come along/

Requesting a pic of your schlong/

With which its new app/

Will diagnose clap -/

Now what in the world could go wrong?///

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Married to the Mob

A princeling whose grandma’s the Queen
Declared: ‘We’re not into that scene’;
The palace snapped: ‘Harry,
Whoever you marry,
You can’t quit the royal machine’.

#HarryandMeghan
#PrinceHarry
#royals
#Harrymeghan

https://t.co/671bxTEfig

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Papal Passion Killer

A papal trip seemingly wrecks
Italians’ enjoyment of sex –
Libidos all wilt
From Catholic guilt
And noone for weeks even necks.

https://t.co/LVRKFBTdav

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Stupid Tosser

A fellow threw coins at a plane
But found he had done so in vain –
Deciding to chuck
Some money for luck,
Financially, brought only pain.

https://t.co/nVPzcADXxg

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World Dom-ination

A would-be commander of geeks/

Has posted a job ad that seeks/

His own kindred souls,/

To fill Whitehall roles/

With asocial weirdos and freaks.///

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