Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Fast Breeders

A wealthy Colombian bloke/
Bought hippos with money from coke;/
They ran off and bred/
But sadly their spread/
Has now been cut off at a stroke.


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Cheesy old crap

Some very old Austrian poo/
Confounds what we thought that we knew/
By making it clear/
That miners drank beer/
And vis-a-vis cheese, liked it blue.


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Where’s Captain Kirk?

A fictional space pioneer/
Who travelled the final frontier/
In some TV show/
Was boldly to go/
Where no man has gone – or quite near.


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Drive Caerphilly

The Prince of Wales swears by the wheeze/
Of running his motor on cheese,/
And though you may say/
It’s harder that whey/
Old Chazza insists it’s a bries.


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Kwasi Autonomous?

The cabinet’s getting quite arsey/
As Rishi fights pressure from Kwasi/
Who fears that the crisis/
In energy prices/
Will send a few firms down the khazi.


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Another fine mess…

The boss of a land in decline
Without any plan or design,
Watched petrol queues build
And shelves go unfilled,
And said to his friends: “This is fine”.


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Drawing a blank

An artist who’s having some fun/
Left Aalborg’s museum feeling done;/
He trousered with thanks/
Their cash, leaving blanks/
He called “Take the money and run”.


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Don’t talk in class

The All Saints Academy school/
Has – Oh my days! You know, this rule/
That slang is bare wrong;/
While kids say that’s long,/
The head’s like, far out man, yeah, cool!


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Making prangs for Nigel

A Brexiteer anchor named Farage/
Went searching for fuel at the garage,/
But when he got there/
The forecourt was bare/
And someone rear-ended his carriage.


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Sorted for eels

Researchers took samples to see/
What happens to festival pee;/
Their study reveals/
That Somerset eels/
Are totally swimming in E.


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