Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Spaghetti Injunction*

A judge in the Netherlands said/
A colander worn on the head/
To worship spaghetti/
Is silly and petty -/
The Lord’s not in pasta, but bread!///

*headline nicked from the Guardian

As I’m sure you’ve all clocked, the last line is intended to contrast the doctrines of  the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster with the rival carb-worship of some Christian sects which believe bread becomes the body of Christ. A bit truncated perhaps, but try summing up transubstantiation in eight syllables!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Last Respects

Farewell Queen of Soul, RIP/

A true R&B VIP,/

So let’s give Aretha,/

Great music bequeather, Our R-E-S-P-E-C-T.///

I am grateful to my nearest and dearest for the helpful advice that ‘Ibiza’ was not really a relevant reference despite being apparently the only available rhyme.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-45215309

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Stream of Complaints

Some people in Paris are dissing/

Urinals erected for pissing/

For while any beau/

Can geau with the fleau,/

For belles, something similar’s missing.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Norwegian Blue Language

A parrot that’s able to speak/

Three languages opened its beak/

And cursed a fire crew/

In language most blue/

And more Anglo-Saxon than Greek.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Pain in Spain

A Brit tourist wrote to complain/

Her Benidorm break was a pain/

Because the hotel/

Was made living hell/

By too many people from Spain.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Rampant rodent

A juvenile squirrel wrongdoer/

Was captured by cops in Karlsruhe/

Who rescued a man/

In terror who ran/

Away from his furry pursuer.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Airport Abuzz

The luggage for one man’s vacation/

Caused problems for air transportation/

When scan operators/

Picked up his vibrators,/

Resulting in mass perturbation.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Cheesy Crime

A thief who was sentenced to fester/

Made one mistake, said his arrester:/

What gave him away/

Was some DNA/

He left on a lump of red Leicester.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Bojo’s Fashion Tips

Though dog-whistle Boris now rails/

Against public wearing of veils/

By some Muslim women,/

From what we’ve seen him in,/

I’d focus on fashion for males.///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Right to Bear Alms

Oh pity the poor NRA-ers,/

Those well-armed political players/

Who love all things gunny/

Are clean out of money/

So shoot them a few .///

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment