Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). https://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Proxi Music

Excited astronomers say/
They know of a planet that may/
Have life – and what’s more/
It’s almost next door,/
Just over four light years away!///

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg23130884-100-proxima-b-closest-earth-like-planet-discovered-right-next-door/

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Costume Drama

A beach-going woman in Nice/
Was fined by the local police/
For brazenly wearing/
A suit that’s not baring,/
Now seen as a breach of the peace.///

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/aug/24/french-burkini-ban-row-escalates-clothing-incident-woman-police-nice-beach

 

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No Virgin Berth?

When Jez took a train to a meeting/

Rampacked, it had no empty seating/

Now Virgin says bull/

It wasn’t that full/

And Jeremy’s sit-in was fleeting.///

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/jeremy-corbyn-richard-branson-go-8692936

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Penguin on Parade

A penguin at Edinburgh zoo/

Inspected the royal tattoo./

The flippered Norwegian,/

A knight of the legion,/

Has now been made brigadier too.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-37155792

 

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Korea Break

A man disillusioned with Kim/
Declared North Korea to be grim,/
Deserting Pyongyang/
And that whole shebang,/
For which he was labelled a crim.///

http://news.sky.com/story/north-korea-describes-diplomat-who-defected-as-human-scum-10544398

 

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Swimmers’ Tale Doesn’t Hold Water

Old Jimmy, Jack, Gunnar and Ryan/

Are under suspicion of lyin’ 

Inventing a robbery/

To cover their yobbery,/

Which Rio police are not buyin’.///

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/08/18/ryan-lochte-swimmers-fabricated-story-robbed-gunpoint/88946508/

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With God On His Side?

A Right-wing American pastor/

Who blames any natural disaster/

On God hating gays/

Saw flood waters raze/

The house of which he was the master.///

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/tony-perkins-lgbt_uk_57b57280e4b003ab6d0b53e3

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Trump Card?

Republican candidate Trump/

Upset by a poll ratings slump/

Appointed Steve Bannon/

A well-known loose cannon/

To help him win out on the stump.///

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/aug/17/donald-trump-stephen-bannon-breitbart-news-kellyanne-conway

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Porkemon Goers

Some children out Pokemon-hunting/

Were taken aback on confronting/

A pair getting jiggy,/

Each dressed as a piggy,/

Along with appropriate grunting.///

http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/mysterious-swedish-couple-dressed-as-pigs-have-sex-cause-traffic-jam-scare-pokemon-go-hunters–bklU8WLJYwZ

 

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General Erection

A Ukipper seeking selection/

Has lost his fiancee’s affection/

She found a blue pill/

And wonders whom Bill/

Is with while he’s up for erection.///

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/ukip-leadership-hopeful-in-cheating-row-as-fianc-e-accuses-him-of-viagrafuelled-infidelity-in-angry-a3321426.html

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