Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Money’s Less Tight For Dementia

The Tories got into a flap/
Suggesting a social care cap/
As nobody backs/
Dementia tax/
Which voters perceive to be crap.///


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Howdy Saudi

United States President Trump,/

An Islamophobe on the stump,/

Has gone off to Saudi/

To smile and say howdy/

And kiss the odd oil-rich rump.///


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Who Ran Iran?

Rouhani successfully ran/
Against the Supreme Leader’s man/
To win reelection;/
Despite this rejection,/
The old Mullah still ran Iran.///


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Not Going Out

Assange is relieved that in Sweden/

The case is no longer proceden/

But has a suspicion/

US extradition/

Still has a good chance of succeden.///


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Missing Millions

The Brexiteers promised us wealth/

To lavish on national health/

In May’s manifesto/

The money – Hey Presto!/

Has vanished with magical stealth.///


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Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it Infamy!


A fellow with bright yellow hair/
Said nobody, never, nowhere/
Saw such persecutin’/
As me over Putin,/
Beheading just doesn’t compare.///



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Money’s Too Tight…

Theresa the Tory frontbencher/
Unveiled a new policy venture/
To cut what is there/
To fund social care,/
Saying money’s too tight for dementia.///


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Chelsea Out

A leaker named Chelsea, née Bradley/

Embarrassed the army quite badly/

So did 7 years/

And yet it appears/

That Trump spills intelligence gladly.///


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Indiscretion Session

Trump may’ve let slip in discussions/
With various senior Russians/
Some classified dope;/
His enemies hope/
The POTUS may face repercussions.///


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Your Money or Your File

For hackers exploiting MS,/

To target the poor NHS/

And hold it to ransom/

To make it finansom/

Is utter BS, FFS.///

Apologies, I tweeted this on Saturday, but haven’t had a chance to repost here till now. Also followed up with this addendum, having seen GCHQ’s lamentable contribution to Limerick Day on Friday:

The people at GCHQ/

Were willing, to give them their due/

But sadly their timing/

Was worse than their rhyming/

As hackers attacked bang on cue.///



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