Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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UNGA games

Addressing the top UN crowd/

The POTUS declared he was proud/

He’d done so much more/

Than any before,/

Which had them all laughing out loud.///

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Nanny knows best

A chap who likes seeming precocious/

Thinks Brexit, which sounds quite atrocious,/

Can be, due to magic,/

Supercalifragic-/

Alisticexpialidocious.///

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EU disrespecting me?

A government failing at Brexit/

Complains the EU disrepexit,/

Creating affront,/

Says Jeremy Hunt,/

By posting cake pix just to vexit.///

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A house divided

There is a right-winger named Paul/

Whose siblings don’t rate him at all/

Six brothers and sisters/

Have joined the resisters/

To work for the Congressman’s fall.///

(I tweaked the second line from the tweeted version, on reflection, but either works).

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Dis-Mayed

Theresa said countries like France/

Have not given Britain a chance:/

By dumping on Chequers/

Those Eurocrat wreckers/

Have led her a merry old dance!///

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Pottted lobster

A lobster place over in Maine/

Maintains it’s humane when they’re slain/

To dope each crustacean/

With weed-based sedation,/

Thus dulling its brain to the pain.///

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Steaming Cleaner

Some Indian nationalists who/

Extol what cow products can do/

Make soap from the faeces/

Of this sacred species,/

Thus putting the poo in shampoo.///

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Jumbo-sized blunder

An airline whose spelling’s horrific/

Messed up, or to be more specific/

Contrived to forget a/

Significant letter/

Which means there’s no effin’ Pacific!///

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Sesame-sex relationship?

The Sesame Workshop contends,/
Wherever the evidence tends,/
Though Saltzman would write ’em/
As kind of an item,/
That Ernie and Bert are just friends.///

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Toad’s tool

A porn star once dear to Trump’s heart/

Described his most intimate part/

As less than humungous/

And shaped like a fungus,/

Like Toad out of Mario Kart.///

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