Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Nasty Nastase

Romanian Ilie Nastase/
Got rather unpleasantly arsy/
He’s now been suspended/
And those he offended/
Did not find the flowers that classy*.///

*With apologies to those who pronounce Nastase differently, or get arsy about whether class and arse rhyme!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/39684332

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Right Turn

Another Le Pen has a chance/

Of being next leader of France;/

Fillon and Hamon/

Are backing Macron/

To head off the far-right advance.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39686993

Prompted by @ArmandDAngour on Twitter to do one on Mélenchon too, I decided this was such a horrible word to rhyme in English that I would have to attempt in French – with the aid of online dictionaries:

Un homme qui s’appelle Mélenchon/

De qui les gauchistes s’enchantent/

A perdu sa chance/

De diriger France/

Bien que cela soit son penchant.///

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Eel Feel That!

A man put an eel up his butt/

Which made its way into his gut/

Although constipation/

Was his explanation/

The case is not open and shut.///

http://shanghaiist.com/2017/04/20/live_eel_constipation_cure.php

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Boom and Bust

 

There once was a terrorist clot/

Who hatched a derivative plot/

To short Dortmund stock/

Then give them a shock/

He made a bomb, and he did not.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39664212

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For Fox Sake, Go!

Complaints of abuse by an anchor/

Whose conduct became ever ranker/

Caused revenue shocks/

So finally Fox/

Reluctantly sacked the old wanker.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/bill-oreilly-fired-fox-news-statement-confirmation-a7691926.html

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I See No Ships

 

The Pentagon gave us a notion/

Korea-bound ships were in motion/

In fact the strike force/

Was striking a course/

Due south to the Indian Ocean.///

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Tomorrow Belongs to May

Though holy Theresa demurs,/
Insisting such thoughts are not hers,/
Her paper, the Mail,/
Has lifted the veil -/
The aim is to Crush Saboteurs.///

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/uk/2017/04/crush-saboteurs-daily-mail-just-says-what-theresa-may-thinking

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May Names Day

The Tory Prime Minister May/

Popped out to the lectern to say/

Perhaps on reflection/

Let’s have an election/

While Labour is in disarray.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/apr/18/theresa-may-uk-general-election-8-june

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Turkey Roasted

In Erdogan’s big referendum/

On powers and how to extendum/

Observers declare/

The rules were unfair,/

Allowing officials to bendum.///

http://www.dw.com/en/osce-turkey-referendum-contested-on-an-unlevel-playing-field/a-38453816

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Premature Kim

There was an old man from Pyongyang/
Who told the US to go hang/
But sources suggest/
That Kim’s missile test/
Went off with a premature bang.///

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/16/north-korea-missile-launch-attempt-says-south-korea-kim-jong-un

 

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