Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013) and There Once Was a Man with Six Wives: Kings and Queens in Limericks (Pavilion, 2017)

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Art attack

Sacked Principal Hope’s misdemeanours
Were showing the kids Birth of Venus
And other great works,
Thus triggering jerks
Offended by David’s li’l penis.

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Simply no bread

The Government turned its attention
To those with a million-pound pension,
Instead of a hike
For workers on strike
Whose money is too tight to mention.

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Digital justice

A courtroom in Canada heard
It was, so the Justice averred,
A God-given right,
Although impolite,
To flip pesky neighbours the bird.

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Assault on Lineker

With Gary off Match of the Day
Suspended for having his say,
His Tory-whipped bosses
Must now count their losses,
Their schedule in rank disarray.

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A turnip for the books

“Don’t moan about salads and fruits:
This government proudly salutes
A veg we can cherish,
As foreign foods perish
Let Britain go back to its roots
“.

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Leaves romaine in EU

Officials in Britain allege/
It’s weather, not Brexit, and pledge/
No shortage of food,/
But others conclude/
We’ve hit the thin end of the veg.
///

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I’ll be darned!

Some Romans carved out of a block
A wooden thing shaped like a cock;
Researchers conclude
The phallus they hewed
Was not used for darning a sock
.

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Bard fluffs its lines

When Google unveiled its new Bard,
The debut was fatally marred:
It flunked, in the promo –
Rushed through amid FoMO –
A question that wasn’t that hard.

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Wall-nuts

Some woodpeckers built up a store
Of nuts in a house, on the floor,
The cute, polyamorous
Tufted wall-hammerers
Pouring acorns galore.

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Are you or have you ever been an economist?

Liz Truss blew a hole in our kitty
Then cried to the press: “What a pity!”
Although I was right
It all went to shite
Because of those reds in the City”.

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