Rugby Tackle

Joe Marler is facing a call/

For sanction because in the maul/

He grabbed Jones’s nuts,/

A charge he rebuts,/

Insisting he went for the ball.///

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Hot to Trot

A piece of equipment that followed/

The movements of pigs as they wallowed/

Went on to ignite/

A load of pig shite/

When pooed, for alas it was swallowed!///

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The Roll of the Media

As all of Australia succumbs/

To panic, expending vast sums/

On scarce toilet tissue,/

One newspaper issue/

Has pages for wiping your bums.///

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Head Huncho

There is an old man with a hunch
That though this bug may pack a punch,
The number who’ll die
Is not all that high –
But sadly the guy’s out to lunch.

https://t.co/xsxJ4y5V4j

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Bum Smear

A cleric is trying to train us/

To tackle this virus so heinous/

With exercise, diet/

And, if you can buy it,/

Some violet oil for the anus.///

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Losing Their Bottle

As coronavirus draws near,
America’s feeling the fear
Of COVID-19.
So what does this mean?
A boycott of Mexican beer.

#coronavirus
#COVID19US
#coronabeer
#coronabeervirus

https://t.co/ZYstBrry5q

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One out, all out!

It’s legal to show a bare breast
To get something off of your chest –
A French court permits
The flashing of tits
As long as it’s done to protest.

#Femen #France

https://t.co/yx12WdQIB9

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Harvey Cell-wallbanger

A sentence on Weinstein is pending
On two counts of sexual offending,
A court in Manhattan
Contriving to flatten
His hope of a Hollywood ending.

#MeToo
#HarveyWeinstein
#Weinstein

https://t.co/xRKRGdMUBH

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Quack Troops

A minister earning big bucks
Said military strategy sucks –
The future he banked on
Was weaponized plankton
Propelling bomb-filled rubber ducks.

https://t.co/Qf0pQzw56e

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Anyone for Eugenics?

Some argue it might have been wiser
For Johnson to pick an adviser
A little less risky
Than Andrew Sabisky,
A racist far-right sympathiser.

https://t.co/mfOWCyHtjB

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