Flat wrong

On getting the Covid jab call,
One chap said: “My belly’s not small,
But now I know why
My BMI’s high –
They think that I’m three inches tall!

https://t.co/oZz9ZMAWSW

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Sweeping Gesture

When Dominic Raab went on Zoom,/

He carefully laid out his room/

To strike the right tone,/

But so far unknown/

Is just what he meant by that broom.///

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Primitive life-forms

Deep under the ice, on a boulder,/
Some primitive animals moulder,/
Though sentient life/
Down there is not rife -/
It’s like Mar-a-Lago, but colder.
/

https://t.co/8w6209zp4W

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The shitshow must go on

By voting to back Trump’s acquittal
The Senate made sure that the shit’ll
Keep hitting the fan,
Propelled by a man
With hands that are ever so little.

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Stolen Stones

Stone circle researchers maintain
Stonehenge was an ill-gotten gain,
Nicked wholesale from Wales,
As claimed in old tales,
To put up on Salisbury Plain.

https://t.co/FSQyMqbBoe

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Kitty Lawyer

A lawyer when pleading his cause
On Zoom gave a Texas court paws
By arguing that
He wasn’t a cat
But failing to strike out the claws.

https://t.co/SogY5bLaTr

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Navy Blue

Among inappropriate places
For filming one’s naked embraces
Or livestreaming nudes,
The Navy concludes,
Are nuclear submarine bases.

https://t.co/aC9x24mdkp

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Cockle Up

The leaders in London and Brussels
Engage in continuing tussles
And strive to be selfish,
But vis a vis shellfish
The UK’s just flexing its mussels.

https://t.co/Kh6MzOV7NT

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That won’t stand up in court

The judge said “Young man, I’m afraid
You cannot say, having got laid,
That cash for carnality
Offends your morality –
The prostitute has to be paid!”

https://t.co/dEt5DjgehH

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Coma doesn’t end sentence

You don’t need a legal diploma
To sniff out the nasty aroma
Of justice that’s failed
When someone is jailed
For busting parole in a coma.

https://t.co/AZl6cUAFez

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