Do or Die Dies a Death

The British Prime minister guy/

Said no-ifs-no-buts, do-or-die,/

No trace of a doubt,/

October we’re out -/

Another Johnsonian lie.///

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-deal-extension-boris-johnson-news-eu-2020-flextension-latest-a9173941.html

on twitter

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Tired gun

Five hitmen expressed themselves willing/

For something they balked at fulfilling/

It got quite protracted/

As each subcontracted/

But none of the five made a killing.///

Hitman hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who tells police

on twitter

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Birds of Pay

Some steppe eagles roaming at will,/

Cross-border, for prey they can kill,/

Gave scientists tracking/

Them rather a whacking/

Great SMS data charge bill.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-50180781?SThisFB&fbclid=IwAR2By8TN19Y2g_u1pQYzQsavixT3UYg2EEUjELnGurpWnk7K8PeMKIXnpHo

Link to Twitter

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Reject Coins

The government’s had to admit/

Its Brexit-themed 50p bit/

Will have to be junked,/

Now rendered defunct/

Since Boris’s plan went to shit.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/oct/25/production-of-brexit-50p-coin-paused-amid-departure-uncertainty

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Rat Race Stress Buster

Researchers found levels of stress/

In rats became markedly less/

When driving small cars/

Constructed from jars,/

The secret of rat race success.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50167812

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Quantum of Bollocks

The firm IBM is disputing/

A claim made for Google’s computing/

That quantum supremacy’s/

Been reached while its nemeses/

Are mostly still busy rebooting.///

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/oct/23/google-claims-it-has-achieved-quantum-supremacy-but-ibm-disagrees

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Pledge Ditched

Despite Johnson’s desperate pitch/

His programme encountered a glitch,/

A setback that caused/

The bill to be paused,/

But nobody died in a ditch.///

tweet

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Pneumatic Trill

The white bellbird’s song is so shrill,/

You’ll hear, when it opens its bill,/

The quite irrepressible/

125-decibel/

Sound of a pneumatic drill.///

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/video/2019/oct/21/white-bellbird-listen-to-the-worlds-loudest-bird-call-video

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Testing Conditions

When pupils are sitting their mocks/

An Indian school says to fox/

Those tempted to cheat/

It helps to secrete/

The head of each one in a box.///

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/10/21/india/india-student-box-cheating-intl-hnk-scli/index.html?__twitter_impression=true

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Signature Ploy

“Dear Donald, I think you will find/

The letter attached is not signed,/

So ha ha – not really!/

Yours Boris, sincerely”./

“Dear Boris, that counts – we don’t mind”.///

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/oct/19/eu-will-grant-brexit-extension-if-johnson-sends-letter-says-brussels

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