Hard to Credit

The minister Esther McVey/

Admits that attempting to say/

The office for audits/

Delivered her plaudits/

Was kind of untrue in a way.///

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/jul/04/esther-mcvey-welfare-secretary-misled-parliament-over-reforms-auditors-say

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To Our Very Good Health

Congrats to the old NHS,/

Underfunded, but nevertheless/

Delivering health/

Regardless of wealth/

For 70 years with success.///

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Stork Talk

A Sudanese phone user hacked/

A migrating bird being tracked/

And made calls for free,/

From which we can see/

Storks having big bills is a fact.///

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Bubble Trouble

An out-and-out crisis is near/

As Whitehall wakes up to the fear/

That grips UK business -/

A shortage of fizziness*/

Endangering crumpets and beer.///

My Twitter friend and limerick aficionado @dubbaemm wonders whether ‘fizzness’ might be better, to rhyme with business. I did consider that, but in the end it’s a choice between playing fast and loose with the rhyme or with the correctness of the word, and I went for the former.  

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Musk Causes Stink

**I’ve just been away for a a week or so, and took a holiday from limericking too, so this and the next one represent an attempt to catch up with a couple of the stories I missed. Normal service will now be resumed.**

A fellow who lives by his art/

Claimed copyright breach on the part/

Of tech tycoon Elon,/

Who won’t do a deal on/

His sketch of a unicorn fart.///

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A Souvenir of Norway?

In Norway there’s plenty to please,/
The mountains, the fjords and the trees,/
But buy some protection/
To ward off infection -/
The people may have STDs.///

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Jack Shit Jacket

The FLOTUS set out to repair/

The damage, but opted to wear/

A slogan-daubed jacket,/

On which, on the back it/

Was written “I really don’t care”.///

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Family Values

Addressing his policy fail/

The child snatcher POTUS turned tail/

By signing an order/

So kids at the border/

Can also be slammed into jail.///

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Not so Sweet Tweet

His racist tweet wasn’t admired/

And so humble pie was required,/

But Dear BBC,/

What we’d like to see/

Is you telling Sugar: “You’re Fired!”///

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/jun/20/lord-sugar-under-fire-over-racist-senegal-world-cup-team-tweet

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Inhuman Right

The POTUS said let’s disengage/

From human rights groups that enrage/

By tracking abuses,/

While I make excuses/

For locking up kids in a cage.///

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/44537372

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