Making prangs for Nigel

A Brexiteer anchor named Farage/
Went searching for fuel at the garage,/
But when he got there/
The forecourt was bare/
And someone rear-ended his carriage.
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https://t.co/TlqHEdtwrC

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Sorted for eels

Researchers took samples to see/
What happens to festival pee;/
Their study reveals/
That Somerset eels/
Are totally swimming in E.
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https://t.co/IPHUFZ46NV

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Trucking shambles

They’re issuing visas for truckers,/
And poultry processors and pluckers,/
The fact they are needed/
Now being conceded/
By useless incompetent frontbenchers.
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https://t.co/XXTN0uAaTB

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Supply chain of fools

The UK has problems that vex it,/
Whose causes appear to perplex it:/
No carbon dioxide,/
Food stuck on the dockside,/
No petrol – it might just be Brexit.
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https://t.co/ee5Jz7kqOF

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Go Fish!

The fish Microbrachius dicki,/
Had sex, though at first it was tricky;/
In long ago lakes,/
For all our sakes,/
They boldly invented the quickie,
///

https://t.co/BajR9UO5OF

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Awks for AUKUS

In launching a body named AUKUS,/
A western security caucus,/
Joe thanked, in a blunder,/
“The fella down under”,/
Engendering laughter most raucous.
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https://t.co/orJBepz6Z8

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Reshuffle Kerfuffle

The PM promoted Liz Truss,/
Chucked Williamson under the bus,/
Gave Culture to Dorries,/
Gove Housing (plus Lorries!),/
And chucked Raab a bone for his fuss.
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https://t.co/rWvlgnlUm3

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Lats for pats

A German research team avows/
That cattle who shit as they browse/
Are harming the planet,/
But rather than ban it,/
We just need to potty-train cows.
///

https://t.co/JEroV0p2bh

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Gone Bad

Top GB News man Andrew Neil/
Has quit three months into his deal,/
Right-wing badinage/
With chaps like Farage/
It seems having lost its appeal.
///

https://t.co/KGNy9DSGRK

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Canu credit it?

Young Emma, at only eighteen,/
Burst on to the world tennis scene/
And won a Grand Slam,/
The odd school exam/
Another thing aced in between.
///

https://t.co/2sxZqkNcHw

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