Johnson Floored

A Tory MP crossed the floor/

To join the Lib Dems, and therefore/

The PM’s majority/

And thus what authority/

He had up to now is no more.///

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Coup de Twat

If Johnson’s No Deal is rejected/

The outcome might not be respected,/

Suggests Michael Gove,/

Whose leader, by Jove,/

Is not even bloody elected!///

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Jack’s hit

The boss of @twitter, @jack

Has suffered a hacking attack

By dicks tweeting racism,

Which somewhat disgracism,

By showing security’s slack.

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Pro rogue

As Boris attempts to dodge scrutiny/

And head off an internal mutiny/

While talking of traitors/

And collaborators/

He seems to be going all Putin-y.///

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Cracking on

Cuadrilla was hit with a block/

For triggering seismical shock/

For though they are crackers,/

These quake-making frackers/

Know just how to make Blackpool rock!///

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Porkie-peddling PM

The pie export body denies/

The claim that Icelanders and Thais/

Are buying our stock/

Which means – what a shock!/

It’s Johnson who’s peddling pork pies.///

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Stoked

That bunch of fine cricketing blokes,/

Burns, Bairstow, Broad, Archer, Roy, Woakes,/

Leach, Buttler and Root,/

Deserve our salute,/

And Denly – but most of all Stokes.///

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Twisted firestarter

There was an old fellow named Ja-ir/

Who set the rainforest on fa-ir./

As flames overran it,/

He cried ‘Fuck the planet,/

Let agrobiz have its desa-ir!”.

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Sale fail

Trump cancelled a trip to the Danish/

Because of them making it plainish/

That Greenland’s off limits/

And if you are him it’s/

Enraging because he is vainish.///

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Yellowhammer horror

The government’s great No Deal wheeze,/

As Op Yellowhammer foresees,/

Means shortages, riots/

And limited diets -/

A little bit of bread and no cheese.///

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