Monthly Archives: October 2016

Halloween Trumpkin

Posted on October 31, 2016 by twitmericks

Ghosts, witches & things that go bump/ Alarm us & make our hearts thump/ But nothing I’ve seen/ Around Halloween/ Is scary as ‘President Trump’./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-us-2016-37817240 Ghosts, witches & things that go bumpAlarm us & make our hearts thumpBut nothing … Continue reading →

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Thumbs Down

Posted on October 30, 2016 by twitmericks

A thumb on a statue of Venus/ Broke off in a manner most heinous./ Oh well, said the waiter/ I’ll fix it on later -/ Must tidy around Mars’s penis./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-37786103 A thumb on a statue of VenusBroke off in … Continue reading →

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Motorist Boobs

Posted on October 28, 2016 by twitmericks

A woman put under arrest/ For driving while semi-undressed/ Rear-ended a cop/ While baring her top/ To snapchat a pic of her breast./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-37795008 A woman put under arrestFor driving while semi-undressedRear-ended a copWhile baring her topTo snapchat a pic … Continue reading →

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Withering on the Vine

Posted on October 28, 2016 by twitmericks

The video app known as Vine/ Has come to the end of the line/ At Twitter they say/ Old clips will still play,/ It’s in for a managed decline./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-37788052 The video app known as #Vine Has come to the end of the … Continue reading →

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Byelection Bye

Posted on October 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A backbencher gave up his seat/ And stood for his party’s defeat,/ A bold Zac attack/ Set back by a lack/ Of Tory contender to beat./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/theresa-may-zac-goldsmith-heathrow-by-election-a7380126.html A backbencher gave up his seatAnd stood for his party's defeat,A bold Zac … Continue reading →

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What the Duck?

Posted on October 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A woman who flew with a duck/ Said when I was down on my luck/ My help was this bird;/ If that sounds absurd/ Well frankly, I don’t give a damn./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/10/17/adorable-emotional-support-duck-is-a-hit-on-us-flight/ A woman who flew with a duckSaid when … Continue reading →

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Twisted Sexuality

Posted on October 21, 2016 by twitmericks

A poor horny snail whose shell/ Makes intercourse absolute hell/ Requires a date/ In order to mate/ Who coils anticlockwise as well./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37722975 A poor horny snail whose shellMakes intercourse absolute hellRequires a dateIn order to mateWho coils anticlockwise as … Continue reading →

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Ape Fruit Juice

Posted on October 20, 2016 by twitmericks

His keepers insist a gorilla/ Involved in a zoo escape thrilla/ Was simply awash/ With blackcurrant squash/ (Just don’t let him try sarsparilla)./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37710435 His keepers insist a gorillaInvolved in a zoo escape thrillaWas simply awashWith blackcurrant squash(Just don't let … Continue reading →

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Open Season on Treason

Posted on October 18, 2016 by twitmericks

A Tory got up a petition/ To make backing Brussels sedition/ And punish as traitors/ Remain advocators/ In front of the Grand Inquisition./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/oct/17/call-to-keep-uk-in-eu-should-be-treason-urges-tory-councillors-petition A Tory got up a petitionTo make backing Brussels seditionAnd punish as traitorsRemain advocatorsIn front of … Continue reading →

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Woolfe Throws in the Towel

Posted on October 17, 2016 by twitmericks

A Kipper named Woolfe who got hit/ Declared his intention to quit/ The reason that Steven/ Has given for leavin’/ Is #UKIP is rotten and shit./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37682828 A Kipper named Woolfe who got hitDeclared his intention to quitThe reason that … Continue reading →

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