Monthly Archives: March 2019

Ex farte injunction

Posted on March 30, 2019 by twitmericks

A court found no legal protection/ If someone at work’s predilection/ Is rudely to place/ His rear in your face/ And fart in your general direction./// A court found no legal protectionIf someone at work's predilectionIs rudely to placeHis rear … Continue reading →

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Shit choices

Posted on March 28, 2019 by twitmericks

When members were polled in the end/ On which polished turd they’d commend,/ Indicative voting/ Left no motion floating,/ They all disappeared round the bend./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/mar/27/mps-reject-all-alternative-brexit-options When members were polled in the endOn which polished turd they'd commend,Indicative votingLeft no … Continue reading →

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Safe space for men

Posted on March 26, 2019 by twitmericks

Officials at NASA have canned/ An all-female spacewalk they’d planned;/ As spacesuits for guys/ Are not the right size,/ The mission will have to be manned./// Officials at NASA have cannedAn all-female spacewalk they'd planned;As spacesuits for guysAre not the … Continue reading →

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Members rise up

Posted on March 26, 2019 by twitmericks

MPs have been airing their views,/ And say it’s now their turn to choose/ What Britain should do/ About the EU,/ Instead of just watching May lose./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47701591 MPs have been airing their views,And say it's now their turn to … Continue reading →

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March message for May

Posted on March 23, 2019 by twitmericks

A million people today/ Are marching to tell Mrs May/ Her Brexit deal’s dead/ And maybe instead/ The people should have a new say./// A million people todayAre marching to tell Mrs MayHer Brexit deal's deadAnd maybe insteadThe people should … Continue reading →

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It could be verse

Posted on March 21, 2019 by twitmericks

Prosaic Theresa gets terse/ She sees things can only get worse/ Perhaps, Mrs May,/ World Poetry Day/ Means now is the time to re-verse./// Prosaic Theresa gets terseShe sees things can only get worsePerhaps, Mrs May,#WorldPoetryDay Means now is the … Continue reading →

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Mouseproud

Posted on March 19, 2019 by twitmericks

A pensioner scratching his head/ About who had tidied his shed,/ By using his nous,/ Discovered a mouse/ That didn’t like mess near its bed./// A pensioner scratching his headAbout who had tidied his shed,By using his nous,Discovered a mouseThat … Continue reading →

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Ewes it or lose it

Posted on March 18, 2019 by twitmericks

Some 56 ewes went to term,/ Australian farmers confirm,/ Each bearing a lamb,/ From one long-dead ram,/ By means of some very old sperm./// Some 56 ewes went to term,Australian farmers confirm,Each bearing a lamb,From one long-dead ram,By means of … Continue reading →

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Period piece

Posted on March 18, 2019 by twitmericks

Dmitry was ever so able:/ He dreamed up, or so goes the fable,/ A way, by formatinum,/ Lead, zinc, carbon, platinum/ Et al might appear in a table./// Dmitry was ever so able:He dreamed up, or so goes the fable,A … Continue reading →

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Putting the F in fibre

Posted on March 15, 2019 by twitmericks

I’m sorry my speech is so rude,/ It’s not me but rather my food,/ Our ancestors’ diet/ Accounting for why it/ Is frequently fucking well crude./// I'm sorry my speech is so rude,It's not me but rather my food,Our ancestors' … Continue reading →

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