Tag Archives: australia

Shit Runner

A fellow whose regular jog/ Encompassed a street with no bog/ Would stop for a crap,/ Till caught on a snap/ Completing his exercise log./// A fellow whose regular jogEncompassed a street with no bogWould stop for a crap,Till caught … Continue reading

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Dying for a Shag

Oh pity the poor antechinus,/ The cause of whose rapid decline is/ That sex for the guys/ Provokes their demise -/ Survival-wise, rather a minus./// Oh pity the poor antechinus,The cause of whose rapid decline isThat sex for the guysProvokes … Continue reading

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Now She’s in Purple, Now She’s a Turtle*

A turtle in Queensland,/ Australia Resembles a punk, only scalier,/ With bright green Mohican,/ In streams he or she can/ Draw breath using gilled genitalia./// *The only punk/turtle link that came to mind was this lyric from Christine, by Siouxsie … Continue reading

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Bancroft’s Balls-up

A person with balls from Australia/ Used tampering paraphernalia,/ Spectators can vouch,/ He put in a pouch/ Adjacent to his genitalia./// http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-25/how-cricket-ball-tampering-incident-unfolded/9584618 A person with balls from AustraliaUsed tampering paraphernalia,Spectators can vouch,He had in a pouchAdjacent to his genitalia.#SandpaperGate — … Continue reading

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Organ Failure

A mason was found by the cops,/ Surrounded by miniature props,/ With organ unloosed,/ Outrageously juiced -/ He clearly pulled out all the stops./// This one was a challenge – I admit there are elements of the original story I … Continue reading

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No Sex Please, We’re Australian

The sex life of one politician/ Provoked a restrictive condition/ On pols in Australia/ And their genitalia/ That bans staff-related coition./// https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/feb/15/australia-bans-ministers-having-sex-with-staff-barnaby-joyce-malcolm-turnbull The sex life of one politicianProvoked a restrictive conditionOn pols in AustraliaAnd their genitalia:No staff-related coition.#BarnabyJoyce #Turnbull #Australia … Continue reading

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Gin Sling

While holding a drink, young Ben Duckett/ Unwisely decided to chuckett/ He said though I should/ Take care and be good/ I’ve had a few pints now, so Fuckett./// https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/dec/09/england-ben-duckett-dropped-ashes-tour-game-after-perth-bar-incident While holding a drink, young Ben DuckettUnwisely decided to chuckettHe … Continue reading

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Oz Mandate (or Womandate)

Australia’s now had its say/ From Darwin to Botany Bay/ From Perth to Gold Coast/ A ballot by post/ Backed marriage for pairs who are gay./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-41992344 Australia's now had its sayFrom Darwin to Botany BayFrom Perth to Gold CoastA … Continue reading

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Avocado Desperado

An Adelaide-based desperado,/ Displaying impressive bravado,/ Refused to confess/ When found to possess/ Consignments of nicked avocado./// http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-08-25/fruitful-police-search-might-have-smashed-avocado-related-crime/8842898 An Adelaide-based desperado,Displaying impressive bravado,Refused to confessWhen found to possessConsignments of nicked avocado. — Mick Twister (@twitmericks) August 25, 2017

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Trump Gets Hump

An old man who grabs genitalia/ Hung up on a chap from Australia,/ For President Trump/ It seems got the hump,/ Declaring their convo a failure./// https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/feb/02/australia-struggling-to-save-refugee-agreement-after-trumps-fury-at-dumb-deal OK, the genitalia reference is gratuitous, but it seems a waste to rhyme … Continue reading

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