Tag Archives: sex

Pecker Checker

Posted on January 12, 2020 by twitmericks

A health testing firm’s come along/ Requesting a pic of your schlong/ With which its new app/ Will diagnose clap -/ Now what in the world could go wrong?/// A health testing firm's come alongRequesting a pic of your schlongWith … Continue reading →

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Hard worker

Posted on September 12, 2019 by twitmericks

A French firm was ordered to pay/ When one of its staff passed away,/ For Xavier X/ Who died during sex,/ Pegged out on the job, judges say./// My fellow Twitter limericker from France, @GuillaumeCingal, replied to this post with … Continue reading →

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Compulsive behaviour

Posted on August 16, 2019 by twitmericks

A driver from Malaga, Spain/ Was kidnapped, he tried to explain,/ And forced on the lash,/ To spend all his cash/ On prostitutes, booze and cocaine./// A driver from Malaga, SpainWas kidnapped, he tried to explain,And forced on the lash,To … Continue reading →

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Sick ardour

Posted on June 27, 2019 by twitmericks

A fungus impels the cicada,/ In some psychedelic lambada,/ To shag till it’s dead/ As body parts shed,/ Which doesn’t diminish its ardour./// A fungus impels the cicada,In some psychedelic lambada,To shag till it's deadAs body parts shed,Which doesn't diminish … Continue reading →

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Shagged out

Posted on June 9, 2019 by twitmericks

When teenagers’ sleep isn’t sound,/ A study reportedly found,/ They get a bit frisky/ And do stuff that’s risky,/ Like drink, drugs and screwing around./// When teenagers' sleep isn't sound,A study reportedly found,They get a bit friskyAnd do stuff that's … Continue reading →

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Mayoral erection

Posted on May 22, 2019 by twitmericks

The Montereau mayor’s inspiration/ For boosting a low population/ Is give every shagger a/ Dose of viagra/ And hope they’ll pursue procreation./// The Montereau mayor's inspirationFor boosting a low populationIs give every shagger aDose of viagraAnd hope they'll pursue procreation.https://t.co/bceAPauZ5F … Continue reading →

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Vicious cycle

Posted on March 7, 2019 by twitmericks

A club British Cycling decried/ Says members enjoying a ride/ Were treated with scorn/ As Pedallers of Porn/ Were pulled out and just tossed aside./// A club British Cycling decriedSays members enjoying a rideWere treated with scornAs Pedallers of PornWere … Continue reading →

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Underground sex

Posted on February 1, 2019 by twitmericks

Three men caused a hullaballoo/ By having a Northern Line screw;/ Enjoying relations/ Through several stations,/ They got off around Waterloo./// Three men caused a hullaballooBy having a Northern Line screw;Enjoying relationsThrough several stations,They got off around Waterloo.https://t.co/WYVG2k828T — Mick … Continue reading →

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Cruising to Phuket

Posted on January 24, 2019 by twitmericks

A pair on a Singapore cruise/ Who went to their cabin to snooze/ And found a duet/ Halfway to Phuket,/  Said: ‘Crews, for screws, please use the loos!’/// A pair on a Singapore cruiseWho went to their cabin to snoozeAnd … Continue reading →

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Happy medium

Posted on October 31, 2018 by twitmericks

  A psychic who comes to orgasm/ Through sex with a randy phantasm/ Enjoys being haunted,/ Declaring, undaunted,/ It’s out of this world when she asm./// A psychic who comes to orgasmThrough sex with a randy phantasmEnjoys being haunted,Declaring, undaunted,It's … Continue reading →

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