Tag Archives: sex

Sick ardour

A fungus impels the cicada,/ In some psychedelic lambada,/ To shag till it’s dead/ As body parts shed,/ Which doesn’t diminish its ardour./// A fungus impels the cicada,In some psychedelic lambada,To shag till it's deadAs body parts shed,Which doesn't diminish … Continue reading

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Shagged out

When teenagers’ sleep isn’t sound,/ A study reportedly found,/ They get a bit frisky/ And do stuff that’s risky,/ Like drink, drugs and screwing around./// When teenagers' sleep isn't sound,A study reportedly found,They get a bit friskyAnd do stuff that's … Continue reading

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Mayoral erection

The Montereau mayor’s inspiration/ For boosting a low population/ Is give every shagger a/ Dose of viagra/ And hope they’ll pursue procreation./// The Montereau mayor's inspirationFor boosting a low populationIs give every shagger aDose of viagraAnd hope they'll pursue procreation.https://t.co/bceAPauZ5FContinue reading

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Vicious cycle

A club British Cycling decried/ Says members enjoying a ride/ Were treated with scorn/ As Pedallers of Porn/ Were pulled out and just tossed aside./// A club British Cycling decriedSays members enjoying a rideWere treated with scornAs Pedallers of PornWere … Continue reading

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Underground sex

Three men caused a hullaballoo/ By having a Northern Line screw;/ Enjoying relations/ Through several stations,/ They got off around Waterloo./// Three men caused a hullaballooBy having a Northern Line screw;Enjoying relationsThrough several stations,They got off around Waterloo.https://t.co/WYVG2k828T — Mick … Continue reading

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Cruising to Phuket

A pair on a Singapore cruise/ Who went to their cabin to snooze/ And found a duet/ Halfway to Phuket,/  Said: ‘Crews, for screws, please use the loos!’/// A pair on a Singapore cruiseWho went to their cabin to snoozeAnd … Continue reading

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Happy medium

  A psychic who comes to orgasm/ Through sex with a randy phantasm/ Enjoys being haunted,/ Declaring, undaunted,/ It’s out of this world when she asm./// A psychic who comes to orgasmThrough sex with a randy phantasmEnjoys being haunted,Declaring, undaunted,It's … Continue reading

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Beat the Meatles*

The Beatles were birds of a feather,/ And long before Linda or Heather,/ With help from their friends,/ McCartney contends/ That he and John did Come Together.//// *Headline shamelessly nicked from the New York Post, of all places. The Beatles … Continue reading

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Rubber Dolphin

Frottage by a horny cetacean/ Is causing French bathers vexation;/ He’s said to molest/ Those swimming near Brest/ For carnal self-gratification./// Frottage by a horny cetaceanIs causing French bathers vexation;He's said to molestThose swimming near BrestFor carnal self-gratification.#Dolphins(Thanks @johnthejack)https://t.co/PuDOioqOFB — … Continue reading

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Airport Abuzz

The luggage for one man’s vacation/ Caused problems for air transportation/ When scan operators/ Picked up his vibrators,/ Resulting in mass perturbation./// The luggage for one man's vacationCaused problems for air transportationWhen scan operatorsPicked up his vibrators,Resulting in mass perturbation.https://t.co/LIcTEwDMYMContinue reading

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