Tag Archives: france

Cheesed Off

Posted on December 31, 2019 by twitmericks

A chef sued the Michelin guide,/ Alleging inspectors had lied/ And said he used cheddar/ In souffles insteddar/ Reblochon, which wounded his pride./// A chef sued the Michelin guide,Alleging inspectors had liedAnd said he used cheddarIn souffles insteddarReblochon, which wounded … Continue reading →

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Chiracballs

Posted on September 26, 2019 by twitmericks

So farewell Jacques Chirac, the late/ Conservative French head of state,/ A man of some stature,/ Who said about Thatcher/ “Does she want my balls on a plate?”/// Tweet and story

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Hard worker

Posted on September 12, 2019 by twitmericks

A French firm was ordered to pay/ When one of its staff passed away,/ For Xavier X/ Who died during sex,/ Pegged out on the job, judges say./// My fellow Twitter limericker from France, @GuillaumeCingal, replied to this post with … Continue reading →

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The langouste goodbye

Posted on July 18, 2019 by twitmericks

De Rugy protested in vain/ He hadn’t a head for champagne/ And didn’t like lobster -/ Like Macron gives jobs to/ Old killjoys whose tastes are so plain!/// De Rugy protested in vainHe hadn't a head for champagneAnd didn't like … Continue reading →

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Mayoral erection

Posted on May 22, 2019 by twitmericks

The Montereau mayor’s inspiration/ For boosting a low population/ Is give every shagger a/ Dose of viagra/ And hope they’ll pursue procreation./// The Montereau mayor's inspirationFor boosting a low populationIs give every shagger aDose of viagraAnd hope they'll pursue procreation.https://t.co/bceAPauZ5F … Continue reading →

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Pecking order reversed

Posted on March 13, 2019 by twitmericks

A fox who thought chickens were weak/ Discovered the harm they can wreak/ For once in their pen/ He found that the hen/ Is made with a very sharp beak./// A fox who thought chickens were weakDiscovered the harm they … Continue reading →

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Pomme fright

Posted on February 5, 2019 by twitmericks

A spud that did not make the grade/ When sent to join crisps being made/ Created a scare,/ For this bombe de terre/ Was an old ready salted grenade./// A spud that did not make the gradeWhen sent to join … Continue reading →

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Fair weather friend

Posted on November 11, 2018 by twitmericks

Remembering those who were slain/ And promising never again/ Brings leaders together/ Whatever the weather -/ But not Donald Trump if it’s rain./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46168995 Remembering those who were slain And promising never againBrings leaders togetherWhatever the weather –But not Donald … Continue reading →

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Portaloo Sunset

Posted on August 29, 2018 by twitmericks

The government’s got a great ruse/ For post-Brexit motorway queues;/ In case of no deal,/ When shit becomes real,/ They’ll put up some portable loos./// The government's got a great ruseFor post-Brexit motorway queues;In case of no deal,When shit becomes … Continue reading →

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Rubber Dolphin

Posted on August 28, 2018 by twitmericks

Frottage by a horny cetacean/ Is causing French bathers vexation;/ He’s said to molest/ Those swimming near Brest/ For carnal self-gratification./// Frottage by a horny cetaceanIs causing French bathers vexation;He's said to molestThose swimming near BrestFor carnal self-gratification.#Dolphins(Thanks @johnthejack)https://t.co/PuDOioqOFB — … Continue reading →

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