Monthly Archives: May 2016

Ocker Knocker-socker

A violent kangaroo hit/ A poor woman right in the tit/ But being well curved/ Her chest was preserved/ By silicon implants, which split./// http://www.smh.com.au/national/womans-breast-implants-ruptured-in-kangaroo-attack-in-south-australia-20160531-gp8gx3.html A violent #kangaroo hitA poor woman right in the titBut being well curvedHer chest was preservedBy … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Candidate Exposed

A candidate stripped for a dare/ And stood on the podium bare./ Credentials inspected/ He wasn’t elected/ The new libertarian chair./// http://edition.cnn.com/videos/tv/2016/05/30/libertarian-convention-strip-tease-daily-hit-newday.cnn A candidate stripped for a dareAnd stood on the podium bare.Credentials inspectedHe wasn't electedThe new libertarian chair. — … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

No Choking Matter

Applying the Heimlich manoeuvre,/ The handy procedure’s prime mover/ Said “Though I am old/ I still know the hold,/ But if it fails, go get a hoover”./// http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2016/05/heimlich-manoeuvre-160527183400086.html Applying the Heimlich manoeuvre,The handy procedure's prime moverSaid tho I am oldI … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Special Pleading

A footballing coach named Jose/ Took on a new challenge today/ His big Man U mission -/ Improve the position,/ However you make the team play./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36363365   A footballing coach named JoseTook on a new challenge todayHis big Man … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Penis Extension

There was a young man from Bangkok Who had an unfortunate shock For as the poor chap Was having a crap A python latched onto his cock./// https://www.buzzfeed.com/leticiamiranda/snake-bite?utm_term=.gaLVM8R5#.seYQBKk4 There was a young man from BangkokWho had an unfortunate shockFor as … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Sheep on Grass

In Swansea a woolly stampede/ Was blamed on unsuitable feed/ The sheep that were crazed/ Reportedly grazed/ On fly-tipped remains of some weed./// http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Concerns-psychotic-sheep-rampaging-Swansea/story-29314245-detail/story.html In Swansea a woolly stampede Was blamed on unsuitable feedThe sheep that were crazedReportedly grazedOn fly-tipped … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Car Wash Gets Dirty

A minister bugged in Brazil/ Affirmed the impeachment of Dil/ Was meant to impede/ Attempts to proceed/ Against those with hands in the till./// A minister bugged in BrazilAffirmed the impeachment of DilWas meant to impedeAttempts to proceedAgainst those with … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Toodle-oo Louis

A fellow named Louis van Gaal/ Was sacked amid plunging morale/ His Man U regime/ Producing a team/ Whose football was seen as banal./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/35161761 A fellow named Louis van GaalWas sacked amid plunging moraleHis Man U regimeProducing a teamWhose … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Load Spilled

A truck on a Moscow main road/ In which many dildos were stowed/ Shot off at great speed,/ Spectators agreed,/ & burst open, spilling its load./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/sex-toys-bring-moscow-standstill-8016169 A truck on a Moscow main roadIn which many dildos were stowedShot off … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

There Was an Old Geezer E-Reader

For anyone after my book/ On tablet or Kindle or Nook/ I have some good news/ It’s there to peruse/ At this link below, take a look./// https://www.amazon.com/There-Was-Geezer-Called-Caesar-ebook/dp/B01DKMYVXG?ie=UTF8&keywords=mick%20twister%20ebook&qid=1463749634&ref_=sr_1_1_twi_kin_1&sr=8-1 …

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment