Monthly Archives: January 2013

Moby Sick

Posted on January 31, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old man with a stick/ Who found a big dollop of sick/ He’ll make money from it/ Because it’s whale vomit/ Egested by old Moby Dick. ///http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4771055/Man-discovers-whale-vomit-worth-100000-on-Morecambe-beach.html There was an old man with a stick/Who found a … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Nuclear Options

Posted on January 31, 2013 by twitmericks

The Cumbrians haven’t embraced/ The storage of nuclear waste/ The government now/ Has no idea how/ To find somewhere it can be placed. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-21253673 The Cumbrians haven't embraced/The storage of nuclear waste/The government now/Has no idea how/To find somewhere it … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

First Bloke’s Bum Joke

Posted on January 30, 2013 by twitmericks

Tim Mathieson, Aussie First Bloke/ Got fingered for making a joke/ Concerning a proctal/ And which kinda doctor’ll/ Give the best digital poke. ///http://t.co/kGjraWfz Tim Mathieson, Aussie First Bloke/Got fingered for making a joke/Concerning a proctal/And which kinda doctor'll/Give the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Major Tom’s a Monkey

Posted on January 28, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a simian Persian/ Got sent on a rocket excursion/ The poor monkey’s face/ Suggested that space/ Produced a degree of aversion. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-21230691 There once was a simian Persian/Got sent on a rocket excursion/The poor monkey's face/Suggested that … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Pass the Duce

Posted on January 28, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old chap, Berlusconi/ Who never stopped talking baloney/ Old Musso, he said/ Was simply misled/ By Hitler, his powerful crony. ///http://news.sky.com/story/1043662/berlusconi-defends-dictator-mussolini

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

For Auld Rabbie

Posted on January 25, 2013 by twitmericks

Thaur was an auld fellow named Rabbie/ His poetry was unco grabby/ His verses sae sweet/ Wi’ rhyming sae neat/ An scansion ye cannae call flabby. (This Burns night limerick was prompted by the excellent stream of Burns-inspired twitter poetry … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Crocs Away!

Posted on January 25, 2013 by twitmericks

There were some South African crocs/ About 15,000 approx/ Who escaped from a farm/ Causing humans alarm/ Though for them, opportunity knocks. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-21178793 There were some South African crocs/About 15,000 approx/Who escaped from a farm/Causing humans alarm/Though for them, opportunity … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Hazardous Kicking

Posted on January 24, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a ballboy in Wales/ Who clung to the ball by his nails/ So Eden Hazard/ Received a red card/ For a kick, as he went off the rails. ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/chelsea/9822878/Chelsea-midfielder-Eden-Hazard-escapes-police-charges-following-ballboy-controversy-in-Legaue-Cup-exit.html There once was a ballboy in Wales/Who clung … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

In Out, Shake it all About

Posted on January 23, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a PM known as David/ On Europe his policy wavered/ He said to end doubt/ He’d ask “In or Out”/ (As soon as he knew which he favoured). ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21148282 There was a PM known as David/On Europe his … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Bibi Feels the Dead Heat

Posted on January 23, 2013 by twitmericks

In Israel a national poll/ Left Bibi in rather a hole/ As voters take fright/ From a swing to the right/ He appears to have scored an own goal. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-21155064 In Israel a national poll/Left Bibi in rather a hole/As … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment