Monthly Archives: March 2012

Holy Potatoes

Posted on March 31, 2012 by twitmericks

One of our C of E vicars Was hanging up drapes with no knickers He fell with a thud And a very big spud Got stuck where the sun never flickers. http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/382493-vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum#ixzz1qPchWPkS

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His Name is Maude

Posted on March 31, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a Conservative man For whom things did not go to plan His panicky talk Caused a fire in York So Maude should now carry the can. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5hMqs1LUcNn6q9h-ThgbHM8588m5Q?docId=N0032151333145807822A

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Clearing the Air(head)

Posted on March 30, 2012 by twitmericks

A TV celeb known as Donna Had permit fraud charges served on ‘er Her lawyer said Air Had zero up there & she left, not a stain on her honour. http://news.sky.com/home/showbiz-news/article/16199299

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The Pasty’s A Foreign Country

Posted on March 29, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a PM known as Dave Who swears Cornish pies are his fave But Labourites castigate Tories on pastygate Knowing it’s donors they crave. http://www.economist.com/blogs/bagehot/2012/03/david-cameron-and-class?fsrc=gn_ep  

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Fuelling Panic

Posted on March 29, 2012 by twitmericks

Ministers seem to be trying To organise mass panic-buying That’s not as a rule Encouraged with fuel So it’s something they’re busy denying. http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/fd5d9fe6-79ad-11e1-8fad-00144feab49a.html?ftcamp=published_links/rss/world_uk_politics/feed//product#axzz1qXVhloFI

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Cops Concur Dave Cam Wancur

Posted on March 29, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow of Bow Who put a rude poster on show The cops came along But now say they were wrong Calling Cameron wanker is go! http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/mar/28/patrick-kingsley-diary-george-osborne-pasty?newsfeed=true

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Spin Doctor Spin Thyself

Posted on March 29, 2012 by twitmericks

The Met Police spinner-in-chief Is getting a fair bit of grief He was given the sack For employing a hack And may now be in need of a brief. http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/mar/29/dick-fedorcio-resigns-metropolitan-police [Corrections and Clarifications]: O followers do bear in mind Dick … Continue reading →

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Getting Pasty Joke

Posted on March 29, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old pasty from Leeds Or not, as the PM concedes Tho some like it hot Mr Cameron does not And it isn’t in Greggs that he feeds. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/how-the-humble-cornish-pasty-became-a-political-hot-potato-7595080.html

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Papal Bull

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A very old man in Havana The Vatican’s own top banana Said Marx lacked reality And rationality (This from the priest of arcana). http://edition.cnn.com/2012/03/28/world/americas/cuba-pope-visit/

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Fuel-ish Advice

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A minister named Francis Maude Advised petrol-buyers to hoard But experts disparage The use of a garage When flammable stuff’s being stored. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/energy/fuel/9171925/Panic-buying-begins-at-petrol-stations-after-dangerous-government-strike-advice.html (Apologies to readers for whom rhyming Mawd with Hoarrrd is a stretch).  

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