Monthly Archives: January 2019

Mayday!

Theresa has lost her big fight,/ The May-backing Ayes to the right/ Not having the heft/ Of noes to the left/ Who reckon her Brexit deal’s shite./// Theresa has lost her big fight,The May-backing Ayes to the rightNot having the … Continue reading

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Rock ‘n’ troll

When Williams got into a spat/ With Page in the neighbouring flat,*/ To get him annoyed/ He blasted Pink Floyd,/ Deep Purple and Sabbath – take that!/// *for rhyming and scansion – I know it’s a mansion. When Williams got … Continue reading

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Quailing quisling

A Brexit supporter named Grayling/ Would like to see democrats quailing/ For fear that it might/ Incite the far right/ To find all their schemes unavailing./// A Brexit supporter named GraylingWould like to see everyone quailingFor fear that it mightIncite … Continue reading

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Oh no it isn’t any good

A show with a beanstalk and Jack/ At Christmas came in for such flak/ They had to admit/ The panto was shit/ And give the admission fee back./// A show with a beanstalk and JackAt Christmas came in for such … Continue reading

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Radio stars

Astronomers picked up a trace/ Of radio signals from space,/ Suggesting we may/ Discover some day/ A podcasting alien race./// Astronomers picked up a traceOf radio signals from space,Suggesting we mayDiscover some dayA podcasting alien race.#Space #FRB https://t.co/YSVygXSjOw — Mick … Continue reading

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Cock-eyed prescription

A woman who to her surprise/ Got cream of the type one applies/ For penile dysfunction,/ Not ocular unction,/ Is now making love with her eyes./// A woman who to her surpriseGot cream of the type one appliesFor penile dysfunction,Not … Continue reading

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Trucking hell

The government lined up some truckers,/ And taking the public for suckers,/ Said this would reveal/ They’re primed for No Deal,/ The lying incompetent fuckers*./// *Looking back over 2018, I realised I’d used the last-minute swerve-the-swear-word gag about half a … Continue reading

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Ships with everything

All customers hiring our ships/ For post-Brexit freight-bearing trips/ In case of No Deal,/ When choosing your meal,/ Please order side salad or chips./// All customers hiring our shipsFor post-Brexit freight-bearing tripsIn case of No Deal,When choosing your meal,Please order … Continue reading

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Lunar New Year

To China it seemed opportune/ To claim the dark side of the moon,/ And show, in the race,/ To colonise space,/ Who’s currently calling the tune./// To China it seemed opportuneTo claim the dark side of the moon,And show, in … Continue reading

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Astro-nuts

A space probe passed Ultima Thule*/ And sent back a pic of it duly;/ The photo recalls/ A snowman, or balls,/ With one large and one smaller goolie**./// *Pronunciation note: that’s right, it’s thoolie. **Vocabulary note: this may be UK … Continue reading

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