Monthly Archives: June 2016

Gove for Guv?

Posted on June 30, 2016 by twitmericks

There was a contender named Gove:/ Abandoning Boris, he strove/ To beat the big blond/ Despite a shared bond -/ The web of deceit both men wove./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/michael-gove-to-stand-as-tory-leader-a7110591.html There was a contender named Gove:Abandoning Boris, he stroveTo beat the big … Continue reading →

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Blowing Cover

Posted on June 29, 2016 by twitmericks

A copper who goes undercover/ Is banned now from having a lover/ So if you are trying/ To work out who’s spying/ Just offer a bit of the other./// https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jun/29/sex-drugs-off-limits-undercover-police-guidelines A copper who goes undercoverIs banned now from having a … Continue reading →

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Voting with Their Feet

Posted on June 27, 2016 by twitmericks

Kane, Alli, Rose, Dier and Hart/ & Rooney were crap from the start/ & Cahill & Smalling/ Were also appalling/ As Iceland took England apart./// http://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/euro2016/england-vs-iceland-player-ratings-joe-hart-wayne-rooney-and-harry-kane-woeful-as-three-lions-crash-a3282331.html#gallery NB: I couldn’t fit them all in. Sterling, Sturridge, Wilshire and Walker (well, it … Continue reading →

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FFS IDS!

Posted on June 26, 2016 by twitmericks

A UK MP, IDS/ Declared IOU, NHS/ The cash 4 EU/ Will now B 4 U./ This turned out 2 B pure BS./// http://news.sky.com/story/1717826/backtrack-on-give-nhs-350m-eu-money-promise A UK MP, IDSDeclared IOU, NHSThe cash 4 EUWill now B 4 U.This turned out 2 … Continue reading →

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Cam Shafted

Posted on June 24, 2016 by twitmericks

PM David Cameron quit/ As voters decided to split/ And seek more autonomy/ While the economy/ Sinks ever deeper in shit./// PM David Cameron quitAs voters decided to splitAnd seek more autonomyWhile the economySinks ever deeper in shit. #EURefResults — … Continue reading →

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Foul Smell

Posted on June 23, 2016 by twitmericks

“I just couldn’t stop once I’d started”,/ The footballer sadly imparted/ “It seems very hard/ To give a red card -/ My only offence was I farted!”/// https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/jun/22/swedish-footballer-sent-off-for-farting-during-match?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other "I just couldn't stop once I'd started",The footballer sadly imparted"It seems very … Continue reading →

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Smackers in the Bank

Posted on June 21, 2016 by twitmericks

A trainer in one Chinese bank/ Assaulted the staff with a plank/ He felt flagellation/ Might help motivation/ So gave them a jolly good spank./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-36583486 A trainer in one Chinese bankAssaulted the staff with a plankHe felt flagellationMight help … Continue reading →

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Feared Beard

Posted on June 19, 2016 by twitmericks

A man got a plane with a beard/ Which some other passengers/ feared His face being hairy/ Was Arab and scary/ And so the poor fellow was sheared./// http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3647375/Told-shave-Man-Arabic-scary-looking-beard-kicked-Alaska-Airlines-flight-after.html A man got a plane with a beardWhich some other passengers … Continue reading →

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Why Don’t We Do it to the Street

Posted on June 19, 2016 by twitmericks

There once was a man so depraved/ The gratification he craved,/ A video showed,/ Was humping the road – / Not hardcore, just asphalt or paved./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/bizarre-moment-man-caught-camera-8217323 There once was a man so depravedThe gratification he craved,A video showed,Was humping … Continue reading →

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Scratch and Sniff

Posted on June 16, 2016 by twitmericks

The coach of the Germany side/ Felt cocky and self-satisfied/ He reached in his smalls/ To handle the balls/ Then sniffed at his fingers with pride./// https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/jun/15/joachim-low-says-sorry-for-causing-a-stir-with-scratch-and-sniff The coach of the Germany sideFelt cocky and self-satisfiedHe reached in his smallsTo … Continue reading →

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