Tag Archives: boris

Onan the Barbarian

Old Johnson loves pulling a flanker,/ Attacking his foes with some rancour,/ But since to withdraw/ Was Onan’s true flaw*,/ It’s unclear who here is the wanker./// https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/boris-johnson-onanism-jeremy-corbyn-brexit-speech-election-tories_uk_5dcaf96de4b0eb9121299377?utm_hp_ref=uk-politics *https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan the tweet

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do or Die Dies a Death

The British Prime minister guy/ Said no-ifs-no-buts, do-or-die,/ No trace of a doubt,/ October we’re out -/ Another Johnsonian lie./// https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-deal-extension-boris-johnson-news-eu-2020-flextension-latest-a9173941.html on twitter

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pledge Ditched

Despite Johnson’s desperate pitch/ His programme encountered a glitch,/ A setback that caused/ The bill to be paused,/ But nobody died in a ditch./// tweet

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Signature Ploy

“Dear Donald, I think you will find/ The letter attached is not signed,/ So ha ha – not really!/ Yours Boris, sincerely”./ “Dear Boris, that counts – we don’t mind”./// "Dear Donald, I think you will findThe letter attached is … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Johnson Waives his Rules

“No checks in the sea”, Johnson cried,/ To get DUP-ers onside./ Alas, to their shock,/ His pledge was a crock -/ A man known for lying had lied!/// "No checks in the sea", Johnson cried,To get DUP-ers onside.Alas, to their … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

It’s The Way You Vellum

When Queens read proposals on vellum/ They say what prime ministers tellum,/ But whether on goatskin/ Or Boris’s scroteskin,/ His bills are so rank you can smellum./// When Queens read proposals on vellumThey say what prime ministers tellum,But whether on … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Magnetic Pole

An entrepreneur known as Jennifer/ Boasts skill at enamouring men of ‘er,/ Her dances on poles/ Attract simple souls/ Like Johnson, whom she has antennae for./// An entrepreneur known as JenniferBoasts skill at enamouring men of 'er,Her dances on polesAttract … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Being extorted*

“When stuff goes cross-border post-Brexit,/ Ten miles away somebody chexit./ With this cunning plan”,/ Said Boris, “I can/ Pretend it’s the EU wot rexit!”/// *The title is an anagram of ‘Get Brexit Done’ https://www.cnbc.com/2019/10/02/boris-johnson-promises-no-brexit-checks-at-irish-border.html "When stuff goes cross-border post-Brexit,Ten miles … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Audacity of Grope

A man who compulsively lies/ Robustly and firmly denies/ Reports that reveal/ #How, during a meal,/ He doubly groped two women’s thighs./// A man who compulsively lies Robustly and firmly denies Reports that revealHow, during a meal,He doubly groped two … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Johnson beaten

Presiding in court, Lady Hale/ Made clear Johnson’s mark was a fail,/ And ruling as one/ Against what he’d done,/ The judges were not pro-rogue male. Tweet+story

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment