Tag Archives: brexit

Lavatorial language

Recently, more and more people on Twitter have been translating my limericks, especially into French and German. So when the bog paper shortage went Dutch as well, I put out an appeal to the hive mind to see how many … Continue reading

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Brexshit Gets Real

As Brexit descends into farce/ Our bog paper stocks will get sparse,/ But when there is none/ The Mail and the Sun/ Are handy for wiping one’s arse. /// As Brexit descends into farceOur bog paper stocks will get sparse,But when … Continue reading

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Dog on

When lorries, post-Brexit, get stuck,/ A driver marooned in a truck/ Will just have to stay by/ Some Kent doggers’/ lay-by And watch exhibitionists fuck./// When lorries, post-Brexit, get stuck,A driver marooned in a truckWill just have to stay bySome … Continue reading

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Being extorted*

“When stuff goes cross-border post-Brexit,/ Ten miles away somebody chexit./ With this cunning plan”,/ Said Boris, “I can/ Pretend it’s the EU wot rexit!”/// *The title is an anagram of ‘Get Brexit Done’ https://www.cnbc.com/2019/10/02/boris-johnson-promises-no-brexit-checks-at-irish-border.html "When stuff goes cross-border post-Brexit,Ten miles … Continue reading

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Johnson beaten

Presiding in court, Lady Hale/ Made clear Johnson’s mark was a fail,/ And ruling as one/ Against what he’d done,/ The judges were not pro-rogue male. Tweet+story

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Incredible Sulk

Perceiving the level of odium,/ Brave Boris abandoned the podium,/ The brown-trousered haste/ With which the man raced/ Suggesting a need for immodium./// On Twitter  

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Gimme Strength!

The PM declares he is Hulk/ Whose monstrous and infantile sulk/ Will make him grow muscles;/ Officials in Brussels/ Reply “What the actual fulk?”/// On Twitter The PM declares he is HulkWhose monstrous and infantile sulkWill make him grow muscles;Officials … Continue reading

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Rewarding failure

Poor Cameron can’t understand/ Why things didn’t go as he planned,/ But though it’s depressing,/ There is just one blessing – / The book’s earned him 800 grand!/// Poor Cameron can't understandWhy things didn't go as he planned,But though it's … Continue reading

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Prorogue Mahone Again

A court found proroguing to stimey,/ As Johnson has done, rather grimy -/ It’s very unlawful/ And also quite awful,/ Misleading the number one limey./// A court found proroguing to stimey,As Johnson has done, rather grimy –It's very unlawfulAnd also … Continue reading

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Ruddy Shocking

Poor gullible dupe Amber Rudd/ Is shocked to find Johnson a dudd/ Whose actions reveal/ His talk of a deal/ Is just a big mountain of crudd./// Poor gullible dupe Amber RuddIs shocked to find Johnson a duddWhose actions revealHis … Continue reading

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