Tag Archives: shit

Brexshit Gets Real

Posted on October 9, 2019 by twitmericks

As Brexit descends into farce/ Our bog paper stocks will get sparse,/ But when there is none/ The Mail and the Sun/ Are handy for wiping one’s arse. /// As Brexit descends into farceOur bog paper stocks will get sparse,But when … Continue reading →

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Shit suggestion

Posted on August 11, 2019 by twitmericks

The head of Brazil’s mighty nation/ Who champions deforestation/ Says humans can master/ The threat of disaster/ By one-day-in-two defecation./// The head of Brazil's mighty nationWho champions deforestation Says humans can masterThe threat of disasterBy one-day-in-two defecation.#Bolsonaro #bolsonarohttps://t.co/lmjjW76pf4 — Mick … Continue reading →

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This is real good shit, man!

Posted on April 5, 2019 by twitmericks

Some Spanish researchers submit/ That though it may give you a hit,/ Because hashish passes/ Through drug smugglers’ arses*/ Most tokers smoke actual shit./   *or asses if that rhymes better for you   Some Spanish researchers submitThat though it … Continue reading →

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Gin & shit

Posted on March 8, 2019 by twitmericks

Next day when you feel overhung,/ Head pounding, with leathery tongue,/ You’ll sit there and think/ Now why did I drink/ That gin made from elephant dung?/// Next day when you feel overhung,Head pounding, with leathery tongue,You'll sit there and … Continue reading →

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Shit a brick

Posted on November 28, 2018 by twitmericks

Six gutsy scatologists tested/ How lego performs when ingested/ By swallowing pieces/ Then checking their faeces -/ Don’t try this at home, they suggested./// Six gutsy scatologists testedHow lego performs when ingestedBy swallowing piecesThen checking their faeces –Don't try this … Continue reading →

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Steaming Cleaner

Posted on September 20, 2018 by twitmericks

Some Indian nationalists who/ Extol what cow products can do/ Make soap from the faeces/ Of this sacred species,/ Thus putting the poo in shampoo./// Some Indian nationalists whoExtol what cow products can doMake soap from the faecesOf this sacred … Continue reading →

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Shit Runner

Posted on June 7, 2018 by twitmericks

A fellow whose regular jog/ Encompassed a street with no bog/ Would stop for a crap,/ Till caught on a snap/ Completing his exercise log./// A fellow whose regular jogEncompassed a street with no bogWould stop for a crap,Till caught … Continue reading →

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Public Enemy Number Two

Posted on May 4, 2018 by twitmericks

A Jersey inspector of schools/ Arrested for flouting the rules/ Was baring his backside/ Each day by the trackside/ And slyly depositing stools./// A Jersey inspector of schoolsArrested for flouting the rulesWas baring his backsideEach day by the tracksideAnd slyly … Continue reading →

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Ramos Runs

Posted on March 10, 2018 by twitmericks

Real Madrid footballer Sergio/ Was gripped by a powerful urgio/ And ran to the can/ Mid-match, said Zidane/ To stop an embarrassing splurgio./// Real Madrid footballer SergioWas gripped by a powerful urgioAnd ran to the canMid-match, said ZidaneTo stop an … Continue reading →

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No Shit?!

Posted on March 8, 2018 by twitmericks

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// http://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2018/03/brixton-drug-suspect-smashes-the-record-for-refusing-to-poo-in-custody-after-an-astonishing-47-days/ A record in anal retentionWas set by a man in detentionWhose bowels wouldn't move,So cops … Continue reading →

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