Tag Archives: shit

Steaming Cleaner

Some Indian nationalists who/ Extol what cow products can do/ Make soap from the faeces/ Of this sacred species,/ Thus putting the poo in shampoo./// Some Indian nationalists whoExtol what cow products can doMake soap from the faecesOf this sacred … Continue reading

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Shit Runner

A fellow whose regular jog/ Encompassed a street with no bog/ Would stop for a crap,/ Till caught on a snap/ Completing his exercise log./// A fellow whose regular jogEncompassed a street with no bogWould stop for a crap,Till caught … Continue reading

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Public Enemy Number Two

A Jersey inspector of schools/ Arrested for flouting the rules/ Was baring his backside/ Each day by the trackside/ And slyly depositing stools./// A Jersey inspector of schoolsArrested for flouting the rulesWas baring his backsideEach day by the tracksideAnd slyly … Continue reading

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Ramos Runs

Real Madrid footballer Sergio/ Was gripped by a powerful urgio/ And ran to the can/ Mid-match, said Zidane/ To stop an embarrassing splurgio./// Real Madrid footballer SergioWas gripped by a powerful urgioAnd ran to the canMid-match, said ZidaneTo stop an … Continue reading

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No Shit?!

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// http://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2018/03/brixton-drug-suspect-smashes-the-record-for-refusing-to-poo-in-custody-after-an-astonishing-47-days/ A record in anal retentionWas set by a man in detentionWhose bowels wouldn't move,So cops … Continue reading

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Shit Date

A woman pursuing a poo/ She just couldn’t flush down the loo/ While out on a Tinder/ Got stuck in the winder/ Till freed by a firefighting crew./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296 A woman pursuing a pooShe just couldn't flush down the looWhile … Continue reading

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Going Through the Motions

A dealer who swallowed his wraps/ Held out for 12 days with no craps,/ Surrounded by cops/ Awaiting the plops/ That marked his eventual lapse./// http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/essex-drug-dealers-excruciating-12-day-toilet-strike-after-swallowing-his-drugs-1633672  

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Cops Face Big Job

Police in East Dulwich admit/ They have a big job to outwit/ The serial pooer,/ A wanted wrongdoer/  Who roams around having a shit./// http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/police-hunt-serial-defecator-a3483631.html Police in East Dulwich admitThey have a big job to outwitThe serial pooer,A wanted wrongdoer … Continue reading

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Shat on from a Great Height

A court ruled it isn’t alright/ For aeroplanes during a flight/ To make parts of Delhi/ Unbearably smelly/ By offloading passengers’ shite./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-38388351 A court ruled it isn't alrightFor aeroplanes during a flightTo make parts of DelhiUnbearably smellyBy offloading passengers' … Continue reading

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A Shit Limerick

Some ancient Neanderthal poo/ Extends what we hitherto knew/ The hominid species,/ We learn from its faeces,/ Ate meat, but had vegetables too./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/482285041561915392  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-27981702

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