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Categories
Twitter
- RT @camusgoalie: @twitmericks The media make far too much fuss. This mess will resolve itself thus: A farewell from Boris And a bullet for… 17 hours ago
- RT @cormac90: It looks like it’s curtains for Borries So who’s next? Tom Tugendhat? Dorries? Liz Truss? Michael Gove? Raab? Sunak? Shapps?… 18 hours ago
- "I'll get along fine", declared Boris, "I'll ride this thing out now, no worries, Though Sajid has quit, And Rishi,… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 20 hours ago
- Thanks to @johnthejack for the spot. twitter.com/twitmericks/st… 4 days ago
- Though many may take it amiss, Declaring, "I'm not drinking this!", In Singapore brewers Say waste from the sewers… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 4 days ago
Meta
Tag Archives: weird
Horn of plenty
Some worms that washed up on the shore near/ A place called Drakes Beach, California/ Of Urechis genus/ Resemble a penis/ And eaten, it’s said, make you hornier./// Some worms that washed up on the shore nearA place called Drakes … Continue reading
A Narrow Squeak
A runaway pig known as Biscuit,/ Who rashly decided to risk it,/ And thought he would try/ A resto nearby,/ Avoided becoming pork brisket./// A runaway pig known as Biscuit,Who rashly decided to risk it,And thought he would tryA resto … Continue reading
Spinal tup
The German police are aware/ Of noise driving residents spare,/ But say thorough checks/ Revealed, having sex,/ Two hedgehogs – a prickly pair!/// The German police are awareOf noise driving residents spare,But say thorough checksRevealed, having sex,Two hedgehogs – a … Continue reading
Drawback-free surgery
An old man went in for an op/ To make his incontinence stop/ But lax supervision/ Around circumcision/ Meant docs gave his foreskin the chop./// An old man went in for an opTo make his incontinence stopBut lax supervisionAround circumcisionMeant … Continue reading
Sick ardour
A fungus impels the cicada,/ In some psychedelic lambada,/ To shag till it’s dead/ As body parts shed,/ Which doesn’t diminish its ardour./// A fungus impels the cicada,In some psychedelic lambada,To shag till it's deadAs body parts shed,Which doesn't diminish … Continue reading
Digital enhancement
A Brit who got caught in the snow/ Donated his frostbitten toe/ To put in a drink/ Some Yukonners sink/ Containing such tasty morceaux./// https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1139168899319177216
Mouseproud
A pensioner scratching his head/ About who had tidied his shed,/ By using his nous,/ Discovered a mouse/ That didn’t like mess near its bed./// A pensioner scratching his headAbout who had tidied his shed,By using his nous,Discovered a mouseThat … Continue reading
Gin & shit
Next day when you feel overhung,/ Head pounding, with leathery tongue,/ You’ll sit there and think/ Now why did I drink/ That gin made from elephant dung?/// Next day when you feel overhung,Head pounding, with leathery tongue,You'll sit there and … Continue reading
Foxy socks
A man with a strange predilection/ Contracted a fungal infection/ From sniffing his socks;/ To get off your rocks/ Like this requires nasal protection./// A man with a strange predilectionContracted a fungal infectionFrom sniffing his socks;To get off your rocksLike … Continue reading
Christmas stuffing
A mum buying stuff for nativity/ Was thrown by the school’s negativity -/ To her it was news/ Inflatable ewes/ Are some people’s sexual proclivity./// A mum buying stuff for nativityWas thrown by the school's negativity –To her it was … Continue reading