Tag Archives: weird

Mouseproud

A pensioner scratching his head/ About who had tidied his shed,/ By using his nous,/ Discovered a mouse/ That didn’t like mess near its bed./// A pensioner scratching his headAbout who had tidied his shed,By using his nous,Discovered a mouseThat … Continue reading

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Gin & shit

Next day when you feel overhung,/ Head pounding, with leathery tongue,/ You’ll sit there and think/ Now why did I drink/ That gin made from elephant dung?/// Next day when you feel overhung,Head pounding, with leathery tongue,You'll sit there and … Continue reading

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Foxy socks

A man with a strange predilection/ Contracted a fungal infection/ From sniffing his socks;/ To get off your rocks/ Like this requires nasal protection./// A man with a strange predilectionContracted a fungal infectionFrom sniffing his socks;To get off your rocksLike … Continue reading

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Christmas stuffing

A mum buying stuff for nativity/ Was thrown by the school’s negativity -/ To her it was news/ Inflatable ewes/ Are some people’s sexual proclivity./// A mum buying stuff for nativityWas thrown by the school's negativity –To her it was … Continue reading

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Man accidentally shoots himself in meat department

In Wal-Mart, a man packing heat/ Was shopping for something to eat;/ The gun, to his shock/ Went off at half-cock/ And gave him reductions on meat./// In Wal-Mart, a man packing heatWas shopping for something to eat;The gun, to … Continue reading

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Size of a cow

An ox of gargantuan size/ Escaped an untimely demise;/ While cattle much shorter/ Were sent to the slaughter,/ Big Knickers has dodged the cow pies./// An ox of gargantuan sizeEscaped an untimely demise;While cattle much shorterWere sent to the slaughter,Big … Continue reading

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Chantilly filly

A horse galloped into a bar/ Where drinkers enjoying a jar/ Said: “Why the long face?/ You’ve run your last race,/ You’re now a big internet star!”/// A horse galloped into a barWhere drinkers enjoying a jarSaid: "Why the long … Continue reading

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Seal of disapproval

A paddler encountered a seal/ Who popped up right under his keel/ And wielding an oc-/ Topus gave him a sock/ For rudely disturbing its meal./// A paddler encountered a sealWho popped up right under his keelAnd wielding an oc-Topus … Continue reading

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Steaming Cleaner

Some Indian nationalists who/ Extol what cow products can do/ Make soap from the faeces/ Of this sacred species,/ Thus putting the poo in shampoo./// Some Indian nationalists whoExtol what cow products can doMake soap from the faecesOf this sacred … Continue reading

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Sex on fire

In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading

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