Tag Archives: weird

Christmas stuffing

A mum buying stuff for nativity/ Was thrown by the school’s negativity -/ To her it was news/ Inflatable ewes/ Are some people’s sexual proclivity./// A mum buying stuff for nativityWas thrown by the school's negativity –To her it was … Continue reading

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Man accidentally shoots himself in meat department

In Wal-Mart, a man packing heat/ Was shopping for something to eat;/ The gun, to his shock/ Went off at half-cock/ And gave him reductions on meat./// In Wal-Mart, a man packing heatWas shopping for something to eat;The gun, to … Continue reading

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Size of a cow

An ox of gargantuan size/ Escaped an untimely demise;/ While cattle much shorter/ Were sent to the slaughter,/ Big Knickers has dodged the cow pies./// An ox of gargantuan sizeEscaped an untimely demise;While cattle much shorterWere sent to the slaughter,Big … Continue reading

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Chantilly filly

A horse galloped into a bar/ Where drinkers enjoying a jar/ Said: “Why the long face?/ You’ve run your last race,/ You’re now a big internet star!”/// A horse galloped into a barWhere drinkers enjoying a jarSaid: "Why the long … Continue reading

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Seal of disapproval

A paddler encountered a seal/ Who popped up right under his keel/ And wielding an oc-/ Topus gave him a sock/ For rudely disturbing its meal./// A paddler encountered a sealWho popped up right under his keelAnd wielding an oc-Topus … Continue reading

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Steaming Cleaner

Some Indian nationalists who/ Extol what cow products can do/ Make soap from the faeces/ Of this sacred species,/ Thus putting the poo in shampoo./// Some Indian nationalists whoExtol what cow products can doMake soap from the faecesOf this sacred … Continue reading

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Sex on fire

In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading

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Private Dick

A spy from Korea, Black Venus,/ Enacted a plan most ingenious/ To tape Kim Jong-Il,/ Concealing with skill/ A dictaphone inside his penis./// I don’t suppose the recording device was that actual brand, but I couldn’t resist the word under … Continue reading

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Rubber Dolphin

Frottage by a horny cetacean/ Is causing French bathers vexation;/ He’s said to molest/ Those swimming near Brest/ For carnal self-gratification./// Frottage by a horny cetaceanIs causing French bathers vexation;He's said to molestThose swimming near BrestFor carnal self-gratification.#Dolphins(Thanks @johnthejack)https://t.co/PuDOioqOFB — … Continue reading

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Norwegian Blue Language

A parrot that’s able to speak/ Three languages opened its beak/ And cursed a fire crew/ In language most blue/ And more Anglo-Saxon than Greek./// A parrot that's able to speakThree languages opened its beakAnd cursed a fire crewIn language … Continue reading

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