Monthly Archives: January 2022

Expelliarmus

As Johnson took blow after blow,/ His poll ratings dreadfully low,/ And cried “Heaven save us!”/ Up popped David Davis/ To say: “In the name of God, go!”/// https://t.co/tgwjgC9IgZ

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Who knew?

A leader who won’t be for long/ Attempted to vary his song,/ Admitting he knew/ There might be a do,/ But nobody said it was wrong./// https://t.co/dQmNXTKvsm

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Flushed with Success

A couple who found that their hush/ Was rudely disturbed by the flush/ Of neighbours at night/ Have won their court fight;/ It took 19 years, but why rush?/// https://t.co/XUAaDVa7Mv

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Put a sock in it!

As households face energy shocks,/ One firm’s thinking outside the box:/ The bright sparks at Eon/ Said keep warm for free on/ The house with these nice toasty socks./// https://t.co/NwT9jX1M5T

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Slack for sack?

There was a Sun journo named Slack/ Who held a big news story back,/ A suitcase of wine/ Which may undermine/ His future career as a hack./// https://t.co/2v8ZBWI8fJ

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Untitled

There was an old royal who since/His arguments failed to convince/The judge he should drop/The case, got the chop/From all of his duties as prince./ https://t.co/T30WABPEO9

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Make gloves not phwoar

A condom firm tried a new tactic,/ Still latex, but not so climactic;/ When too few make love/ The medical glove/ Is handy, and still prophylactic./// https://t.co/60RR8Eowhl

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A Sorry Performance

The PM beseeches our pardon,/Regretting he entered the garden/And tries to sound humble/As alibis crumble/And attitudes steadily harden./// https://t.co/z4s3nS3dly

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Downing ’em Street

“Hi all, after so much bad news,/ Let’s banish the old Covid blues,/ And gather together/ To savour the weather/ In Downing Street (bring your own booze)”./// https://t.co/WwqcpYkZyF

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A wee dram

There is an old fellow named Chris/ Who says give the vaccine a miss,/ And seeks to inspire us/ To tackle the virus/ Like he does, and drink our own piss./// https://t.co/JrCFBuDTu1

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