Tag Archives: football

Getting Lairy with Dairy

Two versions for this limerick: My first effort went: Mourinho was letting off steam/ At members of Man City’s team/ When one of that ilk/ Threw semi-skimmed milk/ At one used to coaching the cream./// Then I remembered a rather … Continue reading

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Azzurri get the Blues

Supporters of football in Italy/ Are gnashing their teeth, weeping bitaly;/ The national side/ Has not qualified,/ With Sweden repelling them gritaly./// https://www.thelocal.it/20171114/the-saddest-reactions-to-italy-world-cup-flop Supporters of football in ItalyAre gnashing their teeth, weeping bitaly;The national sideHas not qualified,With Sweden repelling them … Continue reading

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Piss Off

A goalie who came from NZ/ To Salford was shown a straight red/ For having a pee;/ “It’s quite clear to me,/ He just had to go”, the ref said./// https://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/peed-off-salford-city-goalkeeper-given-red-card-for-urinating-during-national-league-game-a3670556.html A goalie who came from NZTo Salford was shown … Continue reading

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Exit Shakespeare

A manager managing Leicester/ Was given the boot mid-semeicester/ They being unable/ To rise up a table/ Low down which they currently feicester./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41656917 A manager managing LeicesterWas given the boot mid-semeicesterThey being unableTo rise up a tableLow down which … Continue reading

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Don’t Think and Drive

An Everton striker named Wayne/ When asked by his wife to explain/ Said when I am drinking/ My organ for thinking/ Regrettably isn’t the brain./// https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/wayne-rooney-thinks-his-marriage-is-over-after-drink-drive-charge-a3625986.html An Everton striker named WayneWhen asked by his wife to explainSaid when I am … Continue reading

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Neymar Your Price

A striker who comes from Brazil/ Coughed up more than 200 mil/ To quit Barcelona/ But PSG’s owner/ In Qatar will pick up the bill./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/40814854 A striker who comes from BrazilCoughed up more than 200 milTo quit BarcelonaBut PSG's … Continue reading

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Meet and Drink

The Newcastle owner Mike Ashley/ Conducts his affairs very flashly/ With copious drink/ Explaining, some think/ Decisions at times taken rashly./// https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/jul/03/sports-direct-founder-pubs-mike-ashley The Newcastle owner Mike AshleyConducts his affairs very flashlyWith copious drinkExplaining, some thinkDecisions at times taken rashly. — … Continue reading

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Moyes and Girls

A football team managing chap/ Who offered a woman a slap/ For asking a question/ Disliked her suggestion/ The pressure is on as he’s crap./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39484238 A football team managing chapWho offered a woman a slapFor asking a questionDisliked her … Continue reading

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Ranieri Fox Off

A manager’s just got the chop/ Who took his team right to the top/ For under Ranieri/ This season got hairy/ With Leicester at risk of the drop./// https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/feb/23/claudio-rainieri-sacked-leicester A manager's just got the chopWho took his team right to … Continue reading

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Pie Case Opened

The FA is questioning why/ Wayne Shaw ate a second-half pie;/ The keeper at Sutton,/ Turned televised glutton,/ Denies placing bets on the sly./// https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/feb/21/sutton-united-wayne-shaw-fa-betting-rules The FA is questioning whyWayne Shaw ate a second-half pie;The keeper at Sutton,Turned televised glutton,Denies … Continue reading

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