Tag Archives: football

Final Reckoning

To mark the end of Russia 29018, here are three World Cup Final limericks for you: “It’s all gone without any hitch”,/ Declared Vlad Vladimirovich,/ But then Pussy Riot/ Disrupted the quiet/ Invading the Cup Final pitch./// *** Among the … Continue reading

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Arsene About

Old Arsene the Arsenal boss,/ Went 49 games without loss,/ Displaying great reason/ For many a season,/ Though zipping his coat made him cross./// https://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2018/may/13/arsene-wenger-final-bow-arsenal-huddersfield-town Old Arsene the Arsenal boss,Went 49 games without loss,Displaying great reasonFor many a season,Though zipping … Continue reading

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Arsene’ll Do It

Old Arsene who’s now been unseated/ Went 49 games undefeated;/ Through downs and through ups/ With titles and cups/ That’s one feat that’s not been repeated./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/43834283 Old Arsene who's now been unseatedWent 49 games undefeated;Through downs and through upsWith … Continue reading

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Carragher Spat

A pundit who acted the yob/ Is fearful of losing his job/ As Sky believes spitting/ Is not the most fitting/ A use of his highly-paid gob./// A pundit who acted the yobIs fearful of losing his jobAs Sky believes … Continue reading

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Ramos Runs

Real Madrid footballer Sergio/ Was gripped by a powerful urgio/ And ran to the can/ Mid-match, said Zidane/ To stop an embarrassing splurgio./// Real Madrid footballer SergioWas gripped by a powerful urgioAnd ran to the canMid-match, said ZidaneTo stop an … Continue reading

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Getting Lairy with Dairy

Two versions for this limerick: My first effort went: Mourinho was letting off steam/ At members of Man City’s team/ When one of that ilk/ Threw semi-skimmed milk/ At one used to coaching the cream./// Then I remembered a rather … Continue reading

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Azzurri get the Blues

Supporters of football in Italy/ Are gnashing their teeth, weeping bitaly;/ The national side/ Has not qualified,/ With Sweden repelling them gritaly./// https://www.thelocal.it/20171114/the-saddest-reactions-to-italy-world-cup-flop Supporters of football in ItalyAre gnashing their teeth, weeping bitaly;The national sideHas not qualified,With Sweden repelling them … Continue reading

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Piss Off

A goalie who came from NZ/ To Salford was shown a straight red/ For having a pee;/ “It’s quite clear to me,/ He just had to go”, the ref said./// https://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/peed-off-salford-city-goalkeeper-given-red-card-for-urinating-during-national-league-game-a3670556.html A goalie who came from NZTo Salford was shown … Continue reading

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Exit Shakespeare

A manager managing Leicester/ Was given the boot mid-semeicester/ They being unable/ To rise up a table/ Low down which they currently feicester./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41656917 A manager managing LeicesterWas given the boot mid-semeicesterThey being unableTo rise up a tableLow down which … Continue reading

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Don’t Think and Drive

An Everton striker named Wayne/ When asked by his wife to explain/ Said when I am drinking/ My organ for thinking/ Regrettably isn’t the brain./// https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/wayne-rooney-thinks-his-marriage-is-over-after-drink-drive-charge-a3625986.html An Everton striker named WayneWhen asked by his wife to explainSaid when I am … Continue reading

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