Tag Archives: poo

Crude Soil

Posted on November 7, 2019 by twitmericks

A chain store is turning to muck/ Because it thinks fossil fuels suck,/ The folks at John Lewis/ Concluding cow poo is/ The clean way to power a truck./// A chain store is turning to muckBecause it thinks fossil fuels … Continue reading →

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This is real good shit, man!

Posted on April 5, 2019 by twitmericks

Some Spanish researchers submit/ That though it may give you a hit,/ Because hashish passes/ Through drug smugglers’ arses*/ Most tokers smoke actual shit./   *or asses if that rhymes better for you   Some Spanish researchers submitThat though it … Continue reading →

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Shit a brick

Posted on November 28, 2018 by twitmericks

Six gutsy scatologists tested/ How lego performs when ingested/ By swallowing pieces/ Then checking their faeces -/ Don’t try this at home, they suggested./// Six gutsy scatologists testedHow lego performs when ingestedBy swallowing piecesThen checking their faeces –Don't try this … Continue reading →

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Die-ing for a poo*

Posted on November 19, 2018 by twitmericks

The wombat marsupial species,/ Contrives to make cubical faeces:/ The poo is compressed in/ The creature’s intestine,/ Then packed into stackable pieces./// *Thanks to Richard Heald for improved headline. The wombat marsupial species,Contrives to make cubical faeces:The poo is compressed … Continue reading →

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Shit Runner

Posted on June 7, 2018 by twitmericks

A fellow whose regular jog/ Encompassed a street with no bog/ Would stop for a crap,/ Till caught on a snap/ Completing his exercise log./// A fellow whose regular jogEncompassed a street with no bogWould stop for a crap,Till caught … Continue reading →

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Public Enemy Number Two

Posted on May 4, 2018 by twitmericks

A Jersey inspector of schools/ Arrested for flouting the rules/ Was baring his backside/ Each day by the trackside/ And slyly depositing stools./// A Jersey inspector of schoolsArrested for flouting the rulesWas baring his backsideEach day by the tracksideAnd slyly … Continue reading →

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No Shit?!

Posted on March 8, 2018 by twitmericks

A record in anal retention/ Was set by a man in detention/ Whose bowels wouldn’t move,/ So cops couldn’t prove/ Suspected drugs law contravention./// http://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2018/03/brixton-drug-suspect-smashes-the-record-for-refusing-to-poo-in-custody-after-an-astonishing-47-days/ A record in anal retentionWas set by a man in detentionWhose bowels wouldn't move,So cops … Continue reading →

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Shit Date

Posted on September 6, 2017 by twitmericks

A woman pursuing a poo/ She just couldn’t flush down the loo/ While out on a Tinder/ Got stuck in the winder/ Till freed by a firefighting crew./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296 A woman pursuing a pooShe just couldn't flush down the looWhile … Continue reading →

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