Tag Archives: tories

The Queen’s Speech Condensed

“My Government wanted to table/ More bills but is sadly unable;/ The measures set out/ Remove any doubt/ It’s not strong, and nor is it stable”./// https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jun/21/the-guardian-view-on-the-queens-speech-in-office-but-not-in-power "My Government wanted to tableMore bills but is sadly unable;The measures set outRemove … Continue reading

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Paper-thin Excuse

1 The Queen’s Speech is being delayed/ As it is exclusively made/ With ink that has dried/ Upon a goat hide/ So scapegoats will have to be flayed./// 2 According to custom in Britain/ Theresa May’s plan must be written/ … Continue reading

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Soft-shoe Shuffle

In May’s underwhelming reshuffle/ She had to avoid a kerfuffle/ Unable to shunt/ Fox, Johnson or Hunt/ For fear of whose feathers she’d ruffle./// 2. Theresa May had to name Gove/ As Tory environment cove,/ Compelled to recycle/ Her enemy Michael/ … Continue reading

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Adieux Aides

Theresa’s adviser Fiona/ Has seen her boss swiftly disona/ With fellow aide Nick;/ May had to move quick/ To counteract moves to dethrona./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/jun/10/theresa-may-top-advisers-quit-nick-timothy-fiona-hill-tory-recriminations-grow Theresa's adviser FionaHas seen her boss swiftly disonaWith fellow aide Nick;May had to move quickTo counteract … Continue reading

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Over a Barrel of Foster’s

The DUP chief Arlene Foster/ Will fill the Conservative roster/ With her ten MPs;/ Though happy to please,/ She’s told Mrs May it’ll cost ‘er./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2017-40219030 The DUP chief Arlene FosterWill fill the Conservative rosterWith her ten MPs;Though happy to … Continue reading

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May Hem

There once was a woman named May/ Who threw an election away/ She lost her majority/ And has no authority/ How long can she honestly stay?/// There once was a woman named MayWho threw an election awayShe lost her majorityAnd … Continue reading

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Campaign Supernova

The contest to lead the UK,/ Which comes to a climax today,/ Became more absorbin’/ When Jeremy Corbyn/ Was seen outcampaigning Ms May.///  https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/872735132591038464

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Thatcher in the Rye*

Theresa did not say she’d sworn/ Or secretly read her dad’s porn/ Invited to name/ Her naughtiest shame/ She said she once trampled some corn./// *coined by @JonathanDean_ https://www.buzzfeed.com/fionarutherford/never-have-i-ever?utm_term=.bsKaGEyap#.vvpYzaMY4 Theresa did not say she'd swornOr secretly read her dad's pornInvited … Continue reading

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Money’s Less Tight For Dementia

The Tories got into a flap/ Suggesting a social care cap/ As nobody backs/ Dementia tax/ Which voters perceive to be crap./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2017-40001221 The Tories got into a flapSuggesting a social care capAs nobody backsDementia taxWhich voters perceive to be … Continue reading

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Missing Millions

The Brexiteers promised us wealth/ To lavish on national health/ In May’s manifesto/ The money – Hey Presto!/ Has vanished with magical stealth./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-39967916 The Brexiteers promised us wealthTo lavish on national healthIn May's manifestoThe money – Hey Presto!Has vanished … Continue reading

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