Tag Archives: tories

Peer-to-peer Network

Posted on December 17, 2019 by twitmericks

There was an old Tory named Zac/ Whom voters had given the sack;/ “Dear boy, have no fear,/ I’ll make you a peer!”/ Said Boris, and brought him straight back./// There was an old Tory named ZacWhom voters had given … Continue reading →

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Tory Story

Posted on December 13, 2019 by twitmericks

Old Boris the Brexiteer Tory/ Has carried his party to glory/ And now calls the shots,/ Although for the Scots/ The poll told a different story./// Old Boris the Brexiteer ToryHas carried his party to gloryAnd now calls the shots,Although … Continue reading →

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Fear Factor

Posted on December 1, 2019 by twitmericks

When something went bang in the night/ The rest of us woke in a fright;/ For Johnson the fear/ He’ll have to appear/ On Neil is what makes him go white./// When something went bang in the nightThe rest of … Continue reading →

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Don’t Vex Your Ex

Posted on November 19, 2019 by twitmericks

The PM’s old flame, Ms Arcuri/ Says Johnson had better make shuri/ Picks up her next call,/ Or else she’ll tell all,/ For hell, as they say, hath no furi./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50458461 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1196707056268566528

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Onan the Barbarian

Posted on November 13, 2019 by twitmericks

Old Johnson loves pulling a flanker,/ Attacking his foes with some rancour,/ But since to withdraw/ Was Onan’s true flaw*,/ It’s unclear who here is the wanker./// https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/boris-johnson-onanism-jeremy-corbyn-brexit-speech-election-tories_uk_5dcaf96de4b0eb9121299377?utm_hp_ref=uk-politics *https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan the tweet

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Launching into Trouble

Posted on November 7, 2019 by twitmericks

Welsh minister Cairns has to quit,/ Rees-Mogg is an upper-class twit,/ Whom Bridgen admires,/ A fake ad backfires,/ And Johnson spouts microwaved shit./// On Twitter

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Uncommonly Senseless

Posted on November 5, 2019 by twitmericks

Old Jacob Rees-Mogg gave offence/ At victims of Grenfell’s expense/ With comments so crass/ It’s plain that the ass/ Entirely lacks common sense!/// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-50302573 link to tweet version

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Make Poor People History

Posted on November 4, 2019 by twitmericks

A Tory who’s standing in Gower/ Said ‘Benefits Street? What a shower -/ They should be put down!’,/ Which gained her renown,/ But won’t make HQ disallow ‘er./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-50283520 twitter link

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It’s The Way You Vellum

Posted on October 15, 2019 by twitmericks

When Queens read proposals on vellum/ They say what prime ministers tellum,/ But whether on goatskin/ Or Boris’s scroteskin,/ His bills are so rank you can smellum./// When Queens read proposals on vellumThey say what prime ministers tellum,But whether on … Continue reading →

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Being extorted*

Posted on October 2, 2019 by twitmericks

“When stuff goes cross-border post-Brexit,/ Ten miles away somebody chexit./ With this cunning plan”,/ Said Boris, “I can/ Pretend it’s the EU wot rexit!”/// *The title is an anagram of ‘Get Brexit Done’ https://www.cnbc.com/2019/10/02/boris-johnson-promises-no-brexit-checks-at-irish-border.html "When stuff goes cross-border post-Brexit,Ten miles … Continue reading →

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