Tag Archives: tories

No Shit!

There is an old Tory who’s happy/ To say he has not changed a nappy/ For Jacob Rees-Mogg/ Who’s on his 6th sprog/ Has nanny for anything crappy./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jacob-rees-mogg-never-changed-a-nappy-lbc-nigel-farage-nanny-conservatives-a7854791.html There is an old Tory who's happyTo say he has not … Continue reading

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Kill Bill?

Theresa May’s great repeal bill/ Requires opposition goodwill;/ With any such backing/ Apparently lacking/ It’s apt to be put through the mill./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-40589510 Theresa May's great repeal billRequires opposition goodwill;With any such backingApparently lackingIt's apt to be put through the … Continue reading

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Morris Dance

A Tory MP was suspended/ For using a term that offended;/ She told party whips/ Words came from her lips/ Despite being quite unintended./// https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/jul/10/tories-urgently-investigating-after-mp-uses-n-word-at-public-event A Tory MP was suspendedFor using a term that offended;She told party whipsWords came from … Continue reading

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May Hem

Embattled Prime Minister May/ Insists public sector staff pay/ Is still facing caps/ Whatever some chaps/ Who serve in her government say./// https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jun/28/public-sector-pay-cap-could-be-lifted-downing-street-hints Embattled Prime Minister MayInsists public sector staff payIs still facing capsWhatever some chapsWho serve in her government … Continue reading

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Cheques and Balances

A party that’s called DUP/ Extracted a billion pound fee/ For rescuing May,/ Which she must now pay/ With money from her magic tree./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-40403434 A party that's called DUPExtracted a billion pound feeFor rescuing May,Which she must now payWith … Continue reading

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The Queen’s Speech Condensed

“My Government wanted to table/ More bills but is sadly unable;/ The measures set out/ Remove any doubt/ It’s not strong, and nor is it stable”./// https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jun/21/the-guardian-view-on-the-queens-speech-in-office-but-not-in-power "My Government wanted to tableMore bills but is sadly unable;The measures set outRemove … Continue reading

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Paper-thin Excuse

1 The Queen’s Speech is being delayed/ As it is exclusively made/ With ink that has dried/ Upon a goat hide/ So scapegoats will have to be flayed./// 2 According to custom in Britain/ Theresa May’s plan must be written/ … Continue reading

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Soft-shoe Shuffle

In May’s underwhelming reshuffle/ She had to avoid a kerfuffle/ Unable to shunt/ Fox, Johnson or Hunt/ For fear of whose feathers she’d ruffle./// 2. Theresa May had to name Gove/ As Tory environment cove,/ Compelled to recycle/ Her enemy Michael/ … Continue reading

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Adieux Aides

Theresa’s adviser Fiona/ Has seen her boss swiftly disona/ With fellow aide Nick;/ May had to move quick/ To counteract moves to dethrona./// https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/jun/10/theresa-may-top-advisers-quit-nick-timothy-fiona-hill-tory-recriminations-grow Theresa's adviser FionaHas seen her boss swiftly disonaWith fellow aide Nick;May had to move quickTo counteract … Continue reading

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Over a Barrel of Foster’s

The DUP chief Arlene Foster/ Will fill the Conservative roster/ With her ten MPs;/ Though happy to please,/ She’s told Mrs May it’ll cost ‘er./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2017-40219030 The DUP chief Arlene FosterWill fill the Conservative rosterWith her ten MPs;Though happy to … Continue reading

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