Tag Archives: london

Underground sex

Posted on February 1, 2019 by

Three men caused a hullaballoo/ By having a Northern Line screw;/ Enjoying relations/ Through several stations,/ They got off around Waterloo./// Three men caused a hullaballooBy having a Northern Line screw;Enjoying relationsThrough several stations,They got off around Waterloo.https://t.co/WYVG2k828T — Mick … Continue reading →

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Blow for eel population

Posted on January 20, 2019 by

The river that flows through The Smoke/ Takes pee flushed by London-based folk,/ And now it’s transpired/ That eels become wired,/ From swimming through all of their coke./// The river that flows through The SmokeTakes pee flushed by London-based folk,And … Continue reading →

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Crimes against rhymes

Posted on December 14, 2018 by

The New York Times asked Londoners for their experience of petty crime, and got, it must be said, some not entirely serious responses – story below: Here’s my contribution – for those fortunate enough not to have heard it, the … Continue reading →

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Flying Visit

Posted on July 13, 2018 by

There is a big empty balloon/ That looks like a total buffoon;/ With bright yellow hair,/ Chock full of hot air,/ And so is his airborne lampoon./// https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-politics-44820849/trump-baby-blimp-launched-in-london There is a big empty balloonThat looks like a total buffoon;With bright … Continue reading →

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Rooting for Tooting

Posted on August 24, 2017 by

For Northern Line users commuting/ To find Lonely Planet saluting/ Their manor as cool/ Is not as a rule/ What happens in places like Tooting./// https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/tooting-named-one-of-the-10-coolest-neighbourhoods-on-earth-by-lonely-planet-a3618861.html For Northern Line users commutingTo find Lonely Planet salutingTheir manor as coolIs not as … Continue reading →

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Trump Trolls London

Posted on June 5, 2017 by

As real leaders go on the air/ To tell London people they care,/ The orange bullshitter/ Is lying on Twitter/ About Sadiq Khan, London’s mayor./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-40163567 As real leaders go on the airTo tell London people they care,The orange bullshitterIs … Continue reading →

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To the Pint

Posted on June 5, 2017 by

  When killers attempt to spread fear/ Our duty is perfectly clear/ Oppose them as one/ And if you must run/ Then run without spilling your beer./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-flees-london-bridge-terror-10557555 When killers attempt to spread fearOur duty is perfectly clearOppose them as … Continue reading →

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Gorilla Thrilla

Posted on October 14, 2016 by

Kumbuka the captive gorilla/ Did not like his London Zoo villa/ The silverback ape/ Set out to escape/ But staff threw him back in the chiller./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37652212 Kumbuka the captive gorillaDid not like his London Zoo villaThe silverback apeSet out … Continue reading →

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Outstanding Debts

Posted on June 1, 2016 by

UK archaeologists found/ Old tablets of wood underground/ With ancient things written/ By Romans in Britain,/ Like “You owe me 10,000 pound!”/// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/archaeology/ancient-roman-texts-first-londoners-uk-most-important-ever-archaeological-discoveries-a7059271.html UK archaeologists foundOld tablets of wood undergroundWith ancient things writtenBy Romans in Britain,Like "You owe me 10,000 … Continue reading →

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Targeting Boris

Posted on June 12, 2014 by

An old water cannon that’s German/ Will target the mayor to determine/ If such a big squirt/ Inflicts enough hurt/ For use on us horrible vermin./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-agrees-to-be-shot-by-water-cannon-to-prove-wisdom-of-decision-to-buy-controversial-riot-equipment-for-london-9527093.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/477040588475596800

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