Tag Archives: london

Underground sex

Three men caused a hullaballoo/ By having a Northern Line screw;/ Enjoying relations/ Through several stations,/ They got off around Waterloo./// Three men caused a hullaballooBy having a Northern Line screw;Enjoying relationsThrough several stations,They got off around Waterloo.https://t.co/WYVG2k828T — Mick … Continue reading

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Blow for eel population

The river that flows through The Smoke/ Takes pee flushed by London-based folk,/ And now it’s transpired/ That eels become wired,/ From swimming through all of their coke./// The river that flows through The SmokeTakes pee flushed by London-based folk,And … Continue reading

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Crimes against rhymes

The New York Times asked Londoners for their experience of petty crime, and got, it must be said, some not entirely serious responses – story below: Here’s my contribution – for those fortunate enough not to have heard it, the … Continue reading

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Flying Visit

There is a big empty balloon/ That looks like a total buffoon;/ With bright yellow hair,/ Chock full of hot air,/ And so is his airborne lampoon./// https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-politics-44820849/trump-baby-blimp-launched-in-london There is a big empty balloonThat looks like a total buffoon;With bright … Continue reading

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Rooting for Tooting

For Northern Line users commuting/ To find Lonely Planet saluting/ Their manor as cool/ Is not as a rule/ What happens in places like Tooting./// https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/tooting-named-one-of-the-10-coolest-neighbourhoods-on-earth-by-lonely-planet-a3618861.html For Northern Line users commutingTo find Lonely Planet salutingTheir manor as coolIs not as … Continue reading

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Trump Trolls London

As real leaders go on the air/ To tell London people they care,/ The orange bullshitter/ Is lying on Twitter/ About Sadiq Khan, London’s mayor./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-40163567 As real leaders go on the airTo tell London people they care,The orange bullshitterIs … Continue reading

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To the Pint

  When killers attempt to spread fear/ Our duty is perfectly clear/ Oppose them as one/ And if you must run/ Then run without spilling your beer./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-flees-london-bridge-terror-10557555 When killers attempt to spread fearOur duty is perfectly clearOppose them as … Continue reading

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Gorilla Thrilla

Kumbuka the captive gorilla/ Did not like his London Zoo villa/ The silverback ape/ Set out to escape/ But staff threw him back in the chiller./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37652212 Kumbuka the captive gorillaDid not like his London Zoo villaThe silverback apeSet out … Continue reading

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Outstanding Debts

UK archaeologists found/ Old tablets of wood underground/ With ancient things written/ By Romans in Britain,/ Like “You owe me 10,000 pound!”/// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/archaeology/ancient-roman-texts-first-londoners-uk-most-important-ever-archaeological-discoveries-a7059271.html UK archaeologists foundOld tablets of wood undergroundWith ancient things writtenBy Romans in Britain,Like "You owe me 10,000 … Continue reading

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Targeting Boris

An old water cannon that’s German/ Will target the mayor to determine/ If such a big squirt/ Inflicts enough hurt/ For use on us horrible vermin./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-agrees-to-be-shot-by-water-cannon-to-prove-wisdom-of-decision-to-buy-controversial-riot-equipment-for-london-9527093.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/477040588475596800

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