Tag Archives: crime

Crimes against rhymes

Posted on December 14, 2018 by twitmericks

The New York Times asked Londoners for their experience of petty crime, and got, it must be said, some not entirely serious responses – story below: Here’s my contribution – for those fortunate enough not to have heard it, the … Continue reading →

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Sex on fire

Posted on September 17, 2018 by twitmericks

In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading →

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Cheesy Crime

Posted on August 9, 2018 by twitmericks

A thief who was sentenced to fester/ Made one mistake, said his arrester:/ What gave him away/ Was some DNA/ He left on a lump of red Leicester./// A thief who was sentenced to festerMade one mistake, said his arrester:What … Continue reading →

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Malodorous Malefactor

Posted on November 11, 2017 by twitmericks

A flatulent suspect departed/ Soon after his questioning started,/ For rather than speak/ He’d just lift a cheek -/ To answer each question, he farted./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775 A flatulent suspect departedSoon after his questioning started,For rather than speakHe'd just lift a … Continue reading →

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Biggs V the Pigs

Posted on December 18, 2013 by twitmericks

Old Ronnie Biggs helped rob a train;/ Imprisoned, he got out again./ He then did a bunk/ And sang as a punk/ While Slipper pursued him in vain./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/ronnie-biggs-dead-great-train-robber-dies-aged-84-9012029.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/413259202878910465  

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Forget Paris

Posted on April 9, 2013 by twitmericks

A teen police aide, Paris Brown/ Reluctantly had to step down/ Acute twitterhoea/ Destroyed her career/ And gained her unwelcome renown. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/apr/09/paris-brown-stands-down-twitter https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/321635220711415808

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