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Categories
Twitter
- So frustrating! I wrote this as the tube went underground, and reemerged into signal 30 minutes later overtaken by… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 hours ago
- RT @albert_semple: @SoozUK @IamHappyToast @twitmericks @brian_bilston 12 hours ago
- RT @camusgoalie: @twitmericks The media make far too much fuss. This mess will resolve itself thus: A farewell from Boris And a bullet for… 1 day ago
- RT @cormac90: It looks like it’s curtains for Borries So who’s next? Tom Tugendhat? Dorries? Liz Truss? Michael Gove? Raab? Sunak? Shapps?… 1 day ago
- "I'll get along fine", declared Boris, "I'll ride this thing out now, no worries, Though Sajid has quit, And Rishi,… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 day ago
Meta
Tag Archives: crime
Crimes against rhymes
The New York Times asked Londoners for their experience of petty crime, and got, it must be said, some not entirely serious responses – story below: Here’s my contribution – for those fortunate enough not to have heard it, the … Continue reading
Sex on fire
In Grimsby, a man seized by ire/ Who set loads of dildos on fire/ Outside his love’s door/ Was jailed, and what’s more,/ Could not reignite her desire./// In Grimsby, a man seized by ireWho set loads of dildos on … Continue reading
Cheesy Crime
A thief who was sentenced to fester/ Made one mistake, said his arrester:/ What gave him away/ Was some DNA/ He left on a lump of red Leicester./// A thief who was sentenced to festerMade one mistake, said his arrester:What … Continue reading
Malodorous Malefactor
A flatulent suspect departed/ Soon after his questioning started,/ For rather than speak/ He’d just lift a cheek -/ To answer each question, he farted./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775 A flatulent suspect departedSoon after his questioning started,For rather than speakHe'd just lift a … Continue reading
Biggs V the Pigs
Old Ronnie Biggs helped rob a train;/ Imprisoned, he got out again./ He then did a bunk/ And sang as a punk/ While Slipper pursued him in vain./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/ronnie-biggs-dead-great-train-robber-dies-aged-84-9012029.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/413259202878910465
Forget Paris
A teen police aide, Paris Brown/ Reluctantly had to step down/ Acute twitterhoea/ Destroyed her career/ And gained her unwelcome renown. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/apr/09/paris-brown-stands-down-twitter https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/321635220711415808