Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

High School

A chemistry prof, Japanese, Whose students learnt how to make Es/ Is under arrest By cops unimpressed With MD-MA joint degrees./// A chemistry prof, Japanese.Whose students learnt how to make EsIs under arrestBy cops unimpressedWith MD-MA joint degrees.https://t.co/C65VOmY9mL — Mick … Continue reading

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Porn to lose

A fellow whose folks binned his porn/ Decided, to general scorn,/ To sue mum and dad;/ He said: “Though it’s sad, Dilemma-wise, I’m on the horn”./// A fellow whose folks binned his pornDecided, to general scorn,To sue mum and dad;He … Continue reading

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Tiger feat

A golfer well known for his drive/ Rose fast, then went into a dive/ Until Tiger Woods/ Delivered the goods/ For Green Jacket win number 5./// A golfer well known for his driveRose fast, then went into a diveUntil Tiger … Continue reading

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Turning turtle

The death of a rare Yangtze turtle/ Ensures that the species will hurtle/ Towards its demise/ If all three are guys,/ So let’s hope one’s female (and fertile*)./// *North American pronunciation, of course – but not much rhymes with turtle. … Continue reading

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Every day he loves you less and less

There was an old fellow named Trump/ Who, when he was out on the stump,/ Adored Wikileaks,/ Which now, when he speaks,/ He seems rather eager to dump./// There was an old fellow named TrumpWho, when he was out on … Continue reading

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Out on his Assange

There was an old man with a beard/ Who said it is just as I feared,/ My embassy haven/ When young and clean-shaven/ Has gone, and the cops have appeared./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47891737   There was an old man with a beardWho … Continue reading

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Khartoum Kharacter

Ex-Sudanese leader Bashir/ Held power for many a year/ Till those he oppressed/ Rose up to protest/ And now he is out on his ear./// Ex-Sudanese leader BashirHeld power for many a yearTill those he repressedRose up to protestAnd now … Continue reading

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Brex-tension

Theresa May’s stated intention/ Was seeking a short-term extension;/ Though Merkel, Macron/ And others said ‘Non’,/ They threw her a bone of contention./// https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47889404 Theresa May's stated intentionWas seeking a short-term extension;Though Merkel, MacronAnd others said 'Non',They threw her a … Continue reading

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Looking into the abyss

What seemed an impossible goal/ Was reached, as what looked like a coal/ Encircled by flames/ Gave substance to claims/ That Einstein was right, on the hole./// What seemed an impossible goalWas reached, as what looked like a coalEncircled by … Continue reading

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IB trouble

On checking a young Taiwanese,/ Who felt something borne on the breeze/ Was making her cry,/ Docs found in her eye/ Four minuscule sweat-eating bees./// On checking a young Taiwanese,Who felt something borne on the breezeWas making her cry,Docs found … Continue reading

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