Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Swot is he on about?

Old Boris, who says ‘girly swot’,/ And similar jolly old rot,/ Who reeks of misogyny/ And can’t count his progeny,/ Continues to win diddly-squat./// Old Boris, who says 'girly swot',And similar jolly old rot,Who reeks of misogynyAnd can't count his … Continue reading

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See ya later, ex-dictator

Old Robert Mugabe of Zim/ Saw life there get ever more grim,/ One-time liberator/ Turned ageing dictator,/ Deposed once the problem was him./// Old Robert Mugabe of ZimSaw life there get ever more grim,One-time liberatorTurned ageing dictator,Deposed once the problem … Continue reading

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Go Fish

A DNA study reveals/ No sharks, sturgeon, lizards or seals/ Alive in Loch Ness -/ The monster, they guess,/ Is probably oversized eels./// A DNA study revealsNo sharks, sturgeon, lizards or seals Alive in Loch Ness –The monster, they guess,Is … Continue reading

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Lying Tory

As Boris’s plan went Pete Tong,/ Alone in the Westminster throng,/ House leader incumbent/ Rees-Mogg lay recumbent/ And dreamed of his mother’s chaise longue./// As Boris's plan went Pete Tong,Alone in the Westminster throng,House leader incumbentRees-Mogg lay recumbentAnd dreamed of his … Continue reading

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Johnson Floored

A Tory MP crossed the floor/ To join the Lib Dems, and therefore/ The PM’s majority/ And thus what authority/ He had up to now is no more./// A Tory MP crossed the floorTo join the Lib Dems, and thereforeThe … Continue reading

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Coup de Twat

If Johnson’s No Deal is rejected/ The outcome might not be respected,/ Suggests Michael Gove,/ Whose leader, by Jove,/ Is not even bloody elected!/// If Johnson's No Deal is rejectedThe outcome might not be respected,Suggests Michael Gove,Whose leader, by Jove,Is … Continue reading

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Jack’s hit

The boss of @twitter, @jack Has suffered a hacking attack By dicks tweeting racism, Which somewhat disgracism, By showing security’s slack. The boss of @twitter, @jack Has suffered a hacking attackBy dicks tweeting racism,Which somewhat disgracism,By showing security's slack.#jackdorsey #ChucklingSquad https://t.co/A3iTFPmORUContinue reading

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Pro rogue

As Boris attempts to dodge scrutiny/ And head off an internal mutiny/ While talking of traitors/ And collaborators/ He seems to be going all Putin-y./// As Boris attempts to dodge scrutinyAnd head off an internal mutinyWhile talking of traitorsAnd collaboratorsHe … Continue reading

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Cracking on

Cuadrilla was hit with a block/ For triggering seismical shock/ For though they are crackers,/ These quake-making frackers/ Know just how to make Blackpool rock!/// Cuadrilla was hit with a blockFor triggering seismical shockFor though they are crackers,These quake-making frackersKnow … Continue reading

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Porkie-peddling PM

The pie export body denies/ The claim that Icelanders and Thais/ Are buying our stock/ Which means – what a shock!/ It’s Johnson who’s peddling pork pies./// The pie export body deniesThe claim that Icelanders and ThaisAre buying our stockWhich … Continue reading

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