Author Archives: twitmericks

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Open Jaw Policy

A woman has made a new lineIn flexible face mask design;The key thing she didWas put in a lidFrom wet wipes, to let in the wine. https://t.co/Nc1BoKtjZ6

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Is This Mask OK?

Two sex clubs where staff took a stand/ Can open, though brothels are banned;/ The court merely asks/ That clients wear masks/ And service is strictly by hand.///

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Dick Nicked

A sex shop quite near Caesar’s PalaceWas hit by a robber most gallus,For what could be bolderThan over your shoulderTo pilfer a three-foot long phallus. https://t.co/iKqojpaYL7

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From Russia with Leave

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Face Off

The governing cabinet cliqueIs meeting in person this week,But though they have askedUs all to go masked,They plan to display bare-faced cheek. https://t.co/20zXHUMVpD

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Nut Clamped

A seaman went off at half-cock/And clamped his left ball in a lock;/The padlock jammed shut,/Constricting his nut/And required pulling off by a doc./ https://t.co/MyNqVdDvah

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Julian Lewis and the News

A government losing its grip/ Stripped Julian Lewis’s whip/ In anger at failing/ To fix for Chris Grayling/ The ISC chairpersonship.///

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Dick Pecker

Jair Bolsonaro could see a/ Great photo-op, feeding a rhea,/ Which chose to reject/ The offer and pecked/ The president – that’s the idea!///

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Boozers Buzzed

A publican seeking to blockThe space by the bar to his flockSays what works for sheep’llHelp distancing people –Those coming too close get a shock. https://t.co/5R09YSVqKA

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Silent Scream

A Japanese theme park says hideYour feelings when using a ride,Please race round the placeWith serious face,And scream in your heart, deep inside. https://t.co/u9bQ719kWL

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