Monthly Archives: July 2020

A seaman went off at half-cock/And clamped his left ball in a lock;/The padlock jammed shut,/Constricting his nut/And required pulling off by a doc./ https://t.co/MyNqVdDvah

A government losing its grip/ Stripped Julian Lewis’s whip/ In anger at failing/ To fix for Chris Grayling/ The ISC chairpersonship.///

Jair Bolsonaro could see a/ Great photo-op, feeding a rhea,/ Which chose to reject/ The offer and pecked/ The president – that’s the idea!///

A publican seeking to blockThe space by the bar to his flockSays what works for sheep’llHelp distancing people –Those coming too close get a shock. https://t.co/5R09YSVqKA

A Japanese theme park says hideYour feelings when using a ride,Please race round the placeWith serious face,And scream in your heart, deep inside. https://t.co/u9bQ719kWL

Top penguin poo scientists findThe way the birds’ bums are designedMeans some penguin speciesCan catapult faecesFour feet – don’t approach from behind! https://t.co/QsJX9woEhP

Our nursing staff, docs, stretcher-bearers,/ For too long, say Tory cheese-parers,/ Have had a free ride,/ So now, they decide,/ It’s time to declare: “Clamp for Carers”.

There was an old man from BrazilWho said that he couldn’t get ill,But tests show Jair ‘asIndeed caught the virus,Despite taking Donald Trump’s pill. https://t.co/4kF3XPRAUQ

With millions of pints being sunk,Police say – now who woulda thunk?That all social distancing,As you get pissed and sing,Goes out the window when drunk. https://t.co/ZPtVFyU0NG

The tightening FBI netMakes Epstein’s accomplices fret,As courts now arraignHis pander, Ghislaine,Prince Andrew is learning to sweat. https://t.co/QsUsKBpBjV