Monthly Archives: May 2021

Sweet Tweets

Dear tweeters, please take this advice,/ And try to say things that are nice:/ Before posting bitter/ And rude things on Twitter/ (Yes, even to assholes), think twice./// https://t.co/2TIrh3Ces4

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Where’s the Loligo*

A town that successfully bid/ For hundreds of thousands of quid/ In Covid relief/ Quite beggared belief/ And splurged on a giant pink squid./// https://t.co/Qyjr8xg6Nm *The Japanese flying squid is in fact Todarodes pacificus. Loligo is a genus including the … Continue reading

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A View to Die For

A travel firm taking a bunch/ Of pensioners seeking free lunch/ To tour scenic spots/ Was selling them plots/ For graves, when it came to the crunch./// https://t.co/DJ5T7hiVdv

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No Cess Please, we’re British

The God-fearing village of Cornholme/ Has driven the point of its scorn home/ Towards Hebden Bridge,/ A cesspit in which/ You’ll find a more suitable porn-home./// https://t.co/xdSVlkGfrN

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