Author Archives: twitmericks

A species of river cetacean,/ When going through bouts of frustration/ No dolphin can take,/ Will play ‘toss the snake’/ For sexual gratification./// https://t.co/VsHTK84d85

There was a old fellow named Keir/ Who said: “What must happen is clear,/ If cops have suspicions/ Of top politicians.”/ The Durham police: “Hold my beer”./// https://t.co/kAuN7fIoTM

The loss to the Tories of Wandsworth/ Shows what the prime minister’s bond’s / worth;/ As Britain elects,/ His party reflects/ What keeping the maverick blond’s worth./// https://t.co/0GCOU6H02r

A man who went years with no shaft/ Was given a new one by graft,/ But though it had charm,/ A dick on his arm/ Still left the poor man understaffed./// https://t.co/yDqLISrFu7

Neil Parish has told his detractors/ He stumbled on scenes in which actors/ Perform to arouse/ While having a browse/ For content relating to tractors./// https://t.co/qwdZWC4D8S

Upstanding MPs have heaped scorn/ On one Tory caught watching porn;/ Till publicly shamed/ He’ll have to be named/ The member for Browsing-on-Horn./// https://t.co/SMzdhYZTh5

A maverick business big hitter/ Is taking control over Twitter;/ They brokered a deal on/ Terms offered by Elon,/ Who wants it more twisted and bitter./// https://t.co/lA9LE8cb2J

Anonymous Tory MPs/ Say Angela’s trying to tease,/ Which seems to reveal/ They simply can’t deal,/ As colleagues, with women with knees.//_ https://t.co/OdHwJRh2Xd

An artist won global regard/ For plaster cast models which starred/ Great figures in rock/ Who gave her their cock,/ Which must have been really quite hard.///

Mark Harper, ex-Tory chief whip,/ Attacked the PM, letting rip,/ As Johnson entreats/ Those scared for their seats/ To hold off abandoning ship.///