Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Fromage Fray

The Russians are placing a freeze/ On imports of EU-made cheese/ For tons of Red Leicester/ Abandoned to fester/ Will bring the EU to its knees./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-28705136 The Russians are placing a freezeOn imports of EU-made cheeseFor tons of Red … Continue reading

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Tents Finale

The 20th CommonwealthGames/ Has ended with fireworks and flames,/ A few pop-up tents/ At modest expense/ And one or two fairly big names. /// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/commonwealthgames/11009618/Glasgow-2014s-golden-glory-shines-through-the-rain.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/496050429718192129

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Ascent by Scent

A fellow propelling a sprout/ Up Snowden with only his snout/ Confessed it was hard/ But wearing a guard/ Meant no skin off his nose, no doubt. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-28621775 A fellow propelling a sproutUp Snowden with only his snoutConfessed it was … Continue reading

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Diff’rent Strokes?

Obama says CIA blokes/ Did wrong in their efforts to coax/ Confessions of terror,/ Committing an error/ Outlined as: “We tortured some folks”./// http://online.wsj.com/articles/obama-u-s-crossed-a-line-by-using-enhanced-interrogation-1406928167?mod=asia_home Obama says CIA blokesDid wrong in their efforts to coaxConfessions of terror,Committing an errorOutlined as: "We … Continue reading

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Teacher Nose Best

A fellow who sniffed pupils’ toes/ Now finds his career at a close/ Disgraced as a teacher/ Because of one feature – / His over-erogenous nose. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-28599417 A fellow who sniffed pupils' toesNow finds his career at a closeDisgraced as … Continue reading

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Tag Do

Offenders will now have a tag on/ Ensuring they stay on the wagon/ An ankle device/ Will show who’s been nice/ And who’s put away the odd flagon./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28567279 Offenders will now have a tag onEnsuring they stay on the … Continue reading

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Titter Ye Not

A high-up political Turk/ Was widely condemned as a jerk./ The feminine half,/ He said, mustn’t laugh/ But may be permitted a smirk./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-28548179 A high-up political TurkWas widely condemned as a jerk.The feminine half,He said, mustn't laughBut may be … Continue reading

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It Really Shouldn’t Happen to a Vet

A vet who had sex with a horse/ Displayed very little remorse/ He said ‘It’s not fair -/ I’m having a mare!’/ For which he was struck off, of course./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-28524348 A vet who had sex with a horseDisplayed very … Continue reading

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Fees Lloyds Avoids

One of our bailed-out banks/ Was fined by the Brits & the Yanks/ For rigging its rate/ On debts to the state/ A rather odd way to say thanks. ///http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/jul/28/lloyds-suspends-seven-people-rigging-rates-libor One of our bailed-out banksWas fined by the Brits & … Continue reading

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What the Frack

The government’s given its backing/ To shale gas extraction by fracking/ Across the UK/ The companies say/ They just cannot wait to get cracking./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-28513036 The government's given its backingTo shale gas extraction by frackingAcross the UKThe companies sayThey just … Continue reading

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