Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Poison Pants

“This plot, I’m determined to sus it”,Navalny declared. “I’ll discuss itWith one of the spies” –Who, to his surprise,Revealed they had poisoned his gusset. https://t.co/BYcVB1FVFp

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Simple Twist of Freight

Mutation gave Johnson a chanceTo justify changing his stanceTowards Christmas DayBut, to his dismay,Did not go unnoticed in France. https://t.co/59RAugvZlb

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Late Cancellation

A bumbling incompetent toffWhose answer this week was to scoffAt critics of easing,Abandoned crowd-pleasing,And finally called Christmas off.

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Doris to Boris?

A lizard in Melbourne, Australia,/With feminine paraphernalia,/Changed sex, which is rare,/By growing a pair/Of masculine-type genitalia./// https://t.co/xk4wGEGEf4

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Feeding Frenzy

A minister causing affront/Accused the UN of a stunt/By feeding our sprogs,/For Jacob Rees-Mogg’s/A callous, self-satisfied Conservative./// https://t.co/eAXt3pF7ks

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Yule be sorry

“Our plans”, Johnson said, “are defensible,/And not, as Keir says, reprehensible./Though I said to bubble,/Don’t get me in trouble -/This Christmas, eat, drink and be sensible”./// https://t.co/jBguTthtA9

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Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Writer

A writer who shattered the mouldFor how cold war stories were toldIs gone, so goodbyeLe Carré – the spyWho wrote his way in from the cold. https://t.co/uM2uElkl3n

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Johnson’s Balls

When Johnson starts citing AustraliaTo cover his palpable faliaTo get what he’s seekingIt means he is speakingA right load of old genitalia. https://t.co/R4cn7iKbOg

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Where there’s a Will…

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Hoo Poo Hullabaloo

In Kent, by the roadside in Hoo,Some residents put an old looBecause of a ruckusWith Amazon truckersWho stop in their village to poo. https://t.co/ZfWXcD3GYQ In Kent, by the roadside in Hoo,Some residents put an old looBecause of a ruckusWith Amazon … Continue reading

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