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The PM got into a scrape/ When Stratton was captured on tape/ Discussing that party/ With laughter most hearty,/ A jolly Johnsonian jape./// https://t.co/oWSM3xzeed

An aeroplane passenger sat/ And nursed an unusual brat,/ Inserting her tit in/ The mouth of a kitten,/ An act you might call tit for cat.///

A man who feared vaccines do harm/ Revealed, to health workers’ alarm,/ A rather pathetic/ Left shoulder prosthetic,/ A clear case of chancing his arm./// https://t.co/tGkRWVAvF0

A Christmastime mistletoe kiss,/ Say ministers, might be remiss,/ Yet while we locked down,/ They went on the town,/ Which has to be taking the piss./// https://t.co/xUl8zhXmYq

Strong folk under long ago skies/Who caused a stone circle to rise/On Salisbury Plain/Could only sustain/Their labour by eating mince pies./// https://t.co/8HtFeJJFvY

To Be Here Now up in the Dales,/ Snowed in at the pub after gales,/ You can’t Slide Away/ And so, Some Might Say,/ Just Roll With It – Don’t Stop the ales!/// https://t.co/EU8mKEypeS

For plastic that’s good for ecology,/ Some scientists turned to biology,/ And made something firm/ From veg oil and sperm,/ Which could be the coming technology./// https://t.co/R0bBtvDBOM

A man in in a hole at a gig/ Unwisely continued to dig,/ Dried up, lost his place,/ Got egg on his face/ Then waffled about Peppa Pig./// https://t.co/IdVKuOdnDs

A right-wing Conservative knob/ Was groomed for the top Ofcom job,/ But couldn’t pass muster,/ And so with great bluster/ He blamed his defeat on ‘the blob’./// https://t.co/gwBTtJtQUu

A restaurant deal in Hunan/ Said fill up as much as you can,/ Till Kang, one fine day,/ Cleaned out the buffet,/ And landed a permanent ban./// https://t.co/dfOGq57jGF