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All this week on Twitter I’ve been putting a topical twist on some seasonal songs. So here they all are in one place. Merry Christmas your arse! ***** THE HOLLY AND THE IVY The Holly and the Ivy/ Are in … Continue reading →

“This plot, I’m determined to sus it”,Navalny declared. “I’ll discuss itWith one of the spies” –Who, to his surprise,Revealed they had poisoned his gusset. https://t.co/BYcVB1FVFp

Mutation gave Johnson a chanceTo justify changing his stanceTowards Christmas DayBut, to his dismay,Did not go unnoticed in France. https://t.co/59RAugvZlb

A bumbling incompetent toffWhose answer this week was to scoffAt critics of easing,Abandoned crowd-pleasing,And finally called Christmas off.

A lizard in Melbourne, Australia,/With feminine paraphernalia,/Changed sex, which is rare,/By growing a pair/Of masculine-type genitalia./// https://t.co/xk4wGEGEf4

A minister causing affront/Accused the UN of a stunt/By feeding our sprogs,/For Jacob Rees-Mogg’s/A callous, self-satisfied Conservative./// https://t.co/eAXt3pF7ks

“Our plans”, Johnson said, “are defensible,/And not, as Keir says, reprehensible./Though I said to bubble,/Don’t get me in trouble -/This Christmas, eat, drink and be sensible”./// https://t.co/jBguTthtA9

A writer who shattered the mouldFor how cold war stories were toldIs gone, so goodbyeLe Carré – the spyWho wrote his way in from the cold. https://t.co/uM2uElkl3n

When Johnson starts citing AustraliaTo cover his palpable faliaTo get what he’s seekingIt means he is speakingA right load of old genitalia. https://t.co/R4cn7iKbOg