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“Don’t moan about salads and fruits:This government proudly salutesA veg we can cherish,As foreign foods perishLet Britain go back to its roots“.

Officials in Britain allege/ It’s weather, not Brexit, and pledge/ No shortage of food,/ But others conclude/ We’ve hit the thin end of the veg.///

Some Romans carved out of a blockA wooden thing shaped like a cock;Researchers concludeThe phallus they hewedWas not used for darning a sock.

When Google unveiled its new Bard,The debut was fatally marred:It flunked, in the promo –Rushed through amid FoMO –A question that wasn’t that hard.

Some woodpeckers built up a storeOf nuts in a house, on the floor, The cute, polyamorousTufted wall-hammerersPouring acorns galore.

Liz Truss blew a hole in our kittyThen cried to the press: “What a pity!”Although I was rightIt all went to shiteBecause of those reds in the City”.

Marie, having built her successOn how to declutter your mess,With kids to spark joy –Two girls and a boy –For tidying couldn’t care less!

Zahawi, the ex-Tory ChairOwed tax that he failed to declare,An easy mistakeFor people to makeWho have a few million spare.

The Chair of our dear BBCHelped fix up a loan guaranteeFor Johnson, who choseWhich name to propose,Now move along, nothing to see. thetimes.co.uk/article/the-bb… bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politi…

Conservative Chairman Nadhim,When running the Treasury team,Was told ĺ pay taxOn some of the stacksOf cash from his tax dod… avoidance scheme.