twitmericks

Lace underwear made for a man/
May just be a flash in the pan/
But shorts that are frilly/
And highlight the willy/
Are making it big in Japan.///

https://t.co/GztTLKrgQ9

A very small species of mite/
Has sex on your face every night -/
The parasites cling on/
To hairs that they swing on/
In scenes of erotic delight./

https://t.co/zYsWBi40MI

As Number 10 tries hard to parry
The tales of job offers to Carrie,
Will Johnson now claim
It’s all just a game
He plays, known as “Shag, appoint, marry”?

https://t.co/AuFYh0nfvZ

The ethics adviser Lord Geidt/
Resigned his position toneidt,/
For who can advise/
A fellow who lies,/
And ethics-wise, gives not a sheidt?///

https://t.co/MmxLwZJEX0

There was a transnational court/
That stopped, as a final resort,/
Rwanda-bound flights,/
Upholding the rights/
Of those Britain sought to deport.///

https://t.co/Y7hSn96Afe

The journalist Carole Cadwalladr/
Was sued when a Brexiteer calladr/
For saying he lied,/
But judges decide/
His evidence coulda been salladr.///

https://t.co/j2bA7z8rKg

A court has awarded M.O.,/
Who caught an infection below/
From shagging her lover/
And claimed on car cover,/
Some five million dollars in dough.///

https://t.co/O60INivenb

The Tory no-confidence vote/
Kept Johnson as leader afloat/
But 40 percent/
Consider him spent/
Or think him a lying old scrote.///

A crowd full of Jubilee cheer/
Saw Johnson and started to jeer;/
Said Boris: “Fair dos,/
I did ask for boos,/
But packed in a suitcase, you hear?”///

https://t.co/XFl2c69n1j

When one who may soon have more leisure/
(If not at Her Majesty’s Pleasure)/
Abruptly announces/
“Bring back pounds and ounces”,/
It’s known as a desperate measure.///

https://t.co/h55ZWBvvZV