twitmericks

The PM got into a scrape/
When Stratton was captured on tape/
Discussing that party/
With laughter most hearty,/
A jolly Johnsonian jape.///

https://t.co/oWSM3xzeed

An aeroplane passenger sat/
And nursed an unusual brat,/
Inserting her tit in/
The mouth of a kitten,/
An act you might call tit for cat.///

A man who feared vaccines do harm/
Revealed, to health workers’ alarm,/
A rather pathetic/
Left shoulder prosthetic,/
A clear case of chancing his arm.///

https://t.co/tGkRWVAvF0

A Christmastime mistletoe kiss,/
Say ministers, might be remiss,/
Yet while we locked down,/
They went on the town,/
Which has to be taking the piss.///

https://t.co/xUl8zhXmYq

Strong folk under long ago skies/
Who caused a stone circle to rise/
On Salisbury Plain/
Could only sustain/
Their labour by eating mince pies.///

https://t.co/8HtFeJJFvY

To Be Here Now up in the Dales,/
Snowed in at the pub after gales,/
You can’t Slide Away/
And so, Some Might Say,/
Just Roll With It – Don’t Stop the ales!///

https://t.co/EU8mKEypeS

For plastic that’s good for ecology,/
Some scientists turned to biology,/
And made something firm/
From veg oil and sperm,/
Which could be the coming technology.///

https://t.co/R0bBtvDBOM

A man in in a hole at a gig/
Unwisely continued to dig,/
Dried up, lost his place,/
Got egg on his face/
Then waffled about Peppa Pig.///

https://t.co/IdVKuOdnDs

A right-wing Conservative knob/
Was groomed for the top Ofcom job,/
But couldn’t pass muster,/
And so with great bluster/
He blamed his defeat on ‘the blob’.///

https://t.co/gwBTtJtQUu

A restaurant deal in Hunan/
Said fill up as much as you can,/
Till Kang, one fine day,/
Cleaned out the buffet,/
And landed a permanent ban.///

https://t.co/dfOGq57jGF