twitmericks

Young Emma, at only eighteen,/
Burst on to the world tennis scene/
And won a Grand Slam,/
The odd school exam/
Another thing aced in between.///

https://t.co/2sxZqkNcHw

A project that’s quite hard to beat/
Found held upside down by its feet/
And hung from the sky no/
Harm comes to a rhino -/
Researchers, your work is complete!///

https://t.co/wNyz3xjthg

When Gavin declared he met Marcus,/
His failings were rendered quite stark as/
He got the wrong name,/
Wrong player, wrong game,/
The walking political carcass.///

https://t.co/d3cIgKKt8j

A duck on a Canberra pool,/
Who hadn’t learned English at school,/
Could speak it, and quacked,/
While mating, in fact,/
His fuck-a-duck phrase “bloody fool!”///

https://t.co/eMbzWNTidz

There was an old man with a beard/
Who said “It is just as you feared,/
The Taliban cabinet/
Has not one hijab in it,/
Just old men like me with a beard”.///

https://t.co/Uqlj2cNz04

A group of four women and men/
Had many a hit way back when/
Then had an idea/
And so – Mamma Mia!/
Here Abba, and we, go again.///

https://t.co/c7u0JOvOaP

Tim Martin, a big Brexiteer,/
Who loudly condemned ‘Project Fear’,/
Now suffers its curse/
For nothing is worse,/
They say, than a pub with no beer.///

https://t.co/WTw7eI23UV

Paul Taylor decided to go/
Through Shitterton, Bell End and co/

To Twatt, all for charity,/
Provoking hilarity/
In Cockermouth and Titty Ho.///

https://t.co/qIvaLvzocV

A wannabe discotheque jigger/
Declared “I’m a senior figure/
In Lancaster’s Duchy!”/
The doorman, all touchy,/
Said “Cough up your fiver, you ligger!”///

https://t.co/HMggzziW7t

A global tree-hugging convention/
Gave prizes, with special attention/
To speed of embrace/
And passion, with space/
For marks for artistic invention.///

https://t.co/TVGPakde6N